We urge all citizens to remain calm during this period of severe vaccine shortage.
Please continue to exercise, avoid sugar, trans-fats, exposure to second hand smoke, caffeine, alcohol; wear your seatbelt, wear your helmet, wear your sunblock, wear your mittens; check your blood pressure, check your turkey roasting guidelines, check your playground equipment, check your winter emergency travel kit, check your perfume at the office door.
Expectant mothers, the elderly and very young are asked to be particularly diligent during the current outbreak.
Please continue to work hard, pay your taxes, and await further instructions re: clinics in your area until the vaccination period for the high risk priority crack whore and criminal communities is complete..
Thank you.
Related – “Detainees at JTF Guantanamo are considered to be at higher risk and therefore they will be offered the H1N1 vaccination.”
“Why not set up vaccination stations in schools??”
They opened up a previously closed elementary school in my town and the lineup was probably nearly 800 people long.
Is seemed to consist of people of all ages, but I did note one anomaly.
(Hey, don’t shoot the messenger, here!) A sign read that ‘First Nations People’ would be given priority. Now, I’ll grant you that aboriginals have more health problems than the general population.
On the other hand, most of them don’t pay any taxes either.
odd- I’m 54, and I wasn’t tested for H1N1. The clinics told me to stay away, and I decided to just tough it out. I never get regular flu. Not a serious case, at least.
My girlfriend had the regular flu shot a few weeks ago, and now she has the same symptoms I had. I’m just guessing I had H1N1, but I’m pretty sure of it. I won’t be standing in line, anyway. If I get sick again, I guess I was wrong.
I went to a dinner party last night, where I and other guests enjoyed copious amounts of alcohol.
I awoke this morning not feeling well, with what could be described as flu-like symptoms; headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes, etc.
From the results of some initial testing, I have unfortunately tested positive for what experts are now calling Wine Flu.
This debilitating condition is very serious – and it appears this is not an isolated case.
Reports are flooding in from all around the country of others diagnosed with Wine Flu. To anyone that starts to exhibit the aforementioned tell-tale signs, experts are recommending a cup of tea and a bit of a lie down.
However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately hire a DVD and take some Nurofen (Nurofen seems to be the only drug available that has been proven to help combat this unusual type of flu). Others are reporting a McDonald’s Happy Meal can also help in some cases. If not, then further application of the original liquid, in similar quantities to the original dose, has been shown to do the trick.
Wine Flu does not need to be life threatening and, if treated early, can be eradicated within a 24-48 hour period.
Cheers!
NOTE
If you find you are complaining a lot, it may be that it has mutated into Whine Flu. This is particularly common in men and can quickly spread to their partners where the symptoms are detected as a serious case of eye-rolling.
well I just had my little run in with the flu for this season.
had some yogurt at 7:30 and barfed it up at 8:00
its now 10 before 9 p.m., I had a pizza for supper, nibbled on the halloween candy and raring to go.
vaccine? what vaccine?
hype hype hype hype.
the saaaaaaaaaame old script played out the saaaaaaaaaaaame old way with the saaaaaaaaaame old sheeple response.
Global Edmonton just announced (6:30 PM local) that ALL pig flu shots are ceased,as of NOW,in ALL of Alberta.Something about not enough “vaccine” to go around.
More like the pig-mongerers and their buddy Glaxxo didn’t really expect to cause so much hysteria among the piggles,and need more time to produce more crap to up their stock.
I defy ANYBODY to show me the evidence of ONE case of pig flu,scientifically and lab wise,causing ONE death!!!! Just ONE!!!!!
OH. Guess I should add,flu-like doesn’t count,suspected doesn’t count,felt like/looked like doesn’t count. Show me the actual cultures of pig flu that came from the dead body!
I know one of the H1N1 statistics now.
she died yesterday.
Socialist Commissar, the Reverend TC Douglas, sends his National Socialist Sickness Care cadres to TO with Orders:
“Meanwhile, Ontario Health Minister Deb Matthews says she will review the practice of allowing private clinics to administer the swine flu vaccine for patients who pay in advance.”
…-
“Private clinic says it will vaccinate general public
A private clinic in Toronto which has faced criticism for providing paying clients with swine flu vaccinations says it will now open up its immunizations to the general public free of charge.
Representatives from the Medcan clinic told CTV News Toronto Saturday that they would ask Toronto Public Health on Sunday to begin referring high-risk patients to their downtown offices.”
http://toronto.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20091031/Swine_Clinic_091031/20091031?hub=Toronto
“I know one of the H1N1 statistics now.
she died yesterday.
Posted by: cal2 at October 31, 2009 9:11 PM ”
NOT to be cruel or insensitive,cal2. My condolences,but show me the money shot….the lab test verifying WHICH flu(if it even was) culture. Was she tested or even diagnosed for bacterial pneumonia,which kills more people then viral? Salmonella,which mimics flu,and can kill in rare cases?
What everybody seems to forget,is that the “flu”,which ever strain,the real influenza, attacks the respitory systems first and hardest.It is an invader of the lungs,not your head or guts.
147 pairs of hands = 2×147 hands + one leg.
Were those pairs + one leg washed after/before each “passed through”?
Red Swine Flu Alert: Issued by order of the Rev …..
…-
“Torch ignites Olympic spirit in Victoria
Vancouver Sun – 59 minutes ago
From gold medallist to war veteran, first nations teen to champion rower, the Olympic flame passed through 147 pairs of hands in Greater Victoria yesterday on the first leg of its epic journey across Canada.”
For all those that think that vomiting is the flu, think again. Vomiting and upset stomach is either gastroenteritis or food poisoning. We have always called gastroenteritis the flu, but in medical terms it is not. The flu is usually characterized with the same symptoms of a cold, but with muscle aches, fever, and fatigue. There is a loss of appetite, and in children there can be vomiting, but this symptom does not usually appear in adults. In a lot of cases of h1n1 the flu symptoms are mild and can be mistaken for a common cold. The recent increase in cases of pneumonia seem to be caused by the seasonal flu.
Long line-ups in Calgary. Not for nought is it known as the Stampede City. It’s what happens when those charged with riding herd couln’t rope a fence post. Hit ’em up. Mooooooove ’em out!
Pandora – didn’t read your card from the gov’t regarding severe symptoms eh? H1N1 will SOMETIMES include: Nausea, Vomiting & Diarrhoea
Which brings me to another question, is it the media or the gov’t ratcheting up the fear factor?
My doc said come by the office for a swine flu shot. Should be available sometime next week. Asked about the regular flu shot that I usually get. He said just get the swine flu shot right now. Asked is the swine flu around our area and he said “Oh yeah.” I’ll be taking his advice.
curious_george at October 31, 2009 8:54 PM
As someone else has already pointed out, puking is NOT influenza. Influenza is a lengthy illness, respiratory, sometimes involves a little puking or diarrhea. For those who think that modern antibiotics will save us, remember the Spanish flu killed people overnight. Antibiotics would have done nothing. Even a usual ventilator often isn’t adequate. In Winnipeg they were using heart/lung bypass on some patients to oxygenate blood. (Don’t give me the crap about these were immune-compromised patients. We need herd immunity to protect these people, too.)
Just heard a newscast. Diarrhea and vomiting are now part of the H1N1 package. They’re scrambling to get the numbers up. Just like with Listeria.
Well I read today that it may be weeks before there is enough vacine to do the general non priority populace. So that is fine by me because I don’t have to make a decision on whether or not to take the shot. Forced delay. Saves me the sweat of making a decision. yea!!!
By the time I would be allowed in a line up, we should know much more about the vaccine itself and the progression of the disease.
Regards
The Great Procrasinator
I don’t understand why people think that the vaccine is “experimental and dangerous”. Perhaps your parents should have forgone your polio vaccine and you could get infected with that. Vaccines are developed in similar ways for every flu and disease. There is nothing more dangerous in the swine flu vaccine than in any other vaccine. I wouldn’t want to be a parent who didn’t vaccinate their child and then had their child die from the swine flu. I would feel responsible forever because I did have an alternative. Whether the vaccine will be very effective remains to be seen but I don’t believe that getting this shot is “dangerous”. Just because it’s Halloween folks.
Ayn Rand wrote in a 1963 essay titled, “How Not To Fight Against Socialized Medicine”:
“Consider, for instance, the outcome of the Canadian doctors’ struggle in Saskatchewan. The doctors had gone on strike against the full-scale socialized medicine instituted by the provincial government. They won the battle—and lost the war; in exchange for a few superficial concessions, they surrendered the principle for which they had been fighting: to permit no socialized medicine in the Western hemisphere.
“They surrendered, even though the overwhelming sympathy and support of the Canadian people were on their side (except for the intellectuals and the labor unions). They were defeated, not by the power of the socialists, but by the gaping holes in their own ideological armor.
“They had been fighting, properly, in the name of individual rights, against the enslavement of medicine by totalitarian-statist controls. Then, under the pressure of the usual intellectual lynching, under the hysterical, collectivist charges of “anti-social selfishness and greed,” they made a shocking change in their stand. Declaring, in effect, that their rebellion was not directed against socialized medicine as such, but against the high-handed, arbitrary manner in which the government had put it over, their spokesmen began to argue that the government plan did not represent “the will of the people.” The ideological kiss of death was a statement by Dr. Dalgleish, the strikers’ leader, who declared that if a plebiscite were taken and the people voted for it, the doctors would accept socialized medicine.
“Could they deserve to win, after that? They could not and did not.”
http://www.aynrand.org/site/DocServer/How_Not_To_Fight_Against_Socialized_Medicine.pdf?docID=2181
Bravo!!!