He cites a confidential Nasa report on a space shuttle mission in 1996. A project codenamed STS-XX was to explore sexual positions possible in a weightless atmosphere.
Twenty positions were tested by computer simulation to obtain the best 10, he says. “Two guinea pigs then tested them in real zero-gravity conditions…”
Who allowed guinea pigs to get their paws on the Kama Sutra?
h/t
???!!!!
DAMN.
THE FINAL FRONTIER….OH NEVER MIND. 🙁
NASA’s idea of the Mars probe may be totally different than what we think.
I knew it – I knew it – I knew it.
Kama Sutra in space! With the mind set of the human race, it had to come. And at tax payers’ expense, of course.
Heterosexual, homosexual, lesbian, bisexual, metrosexual (whatever the h— that is, but I heard a woman use it on a decorating show one day recently).
But, how do they get the horse and sheep in the capsule? ;-(
Did they use guinea pigs or “guinea pigs”.
Howie – that’s a good one.
Can’t they just screen the pervs out of the space program and send people who don’t need to have contortionist sex to be fulfilled? Or is it just me?
And have they considered that the ‘wet spot’ will now be pretty much everywhere?
When the motivation to explore is “domestic” it’s going nowhere fast, folks.
The motivation for exploration has to be conquering the “other” we need some Martians to kick their ass and then all problems will be solved.
I think one position was called
“the bentover taxpayer”
As a longtime advocate of the merits of empirical research over theoretical abstractions, I feel duty bound to offer myself as a volunteer subject: interest of science; giving back to the community; all that.
What, the missionary position not possible? I guess, ahem….. one of the “guinea pigs” asses was to big to get a grip on. ie, one of them really was a pig.
GDW
Be careful, lest you find yourself in a 6 month space station rotation as Igor’s bitch.
“Who allowed guinea pigs to get their paws on the Kama Sutra?”
I’ll bet Karlheinz had something to do with it.
As Miss Piggy said to Luke Hogthrob, “You pushed the wrong button BACON BRAIN”.
I always knew I wanted to be an astronaut, now I’m even more convinced.
I see nothing wrong with this, if people are going to be sent to mars and beyond sex is something that needs to be addressed.
I nominate SDA power couple ET and leftdog for this assignment.
Between experiments they can discuss the similarities of rightoid ‘facts’ and leftoid ‘opinions’.
Sparks will surely fly!
I guess we’ll finally know for sure: Can she get pregent on top(in space)?
“hey babe I don’t need a hat, everone knows you can’t get knocked-up in space.”
Hmmmmm hope they take some “pork slap” ale for the post coital wind down.
http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p127/whenyouawake/porkslap.jpg
C’mon baby squeal like an astronaut!
Yeah. But shouldn’t weightlessness get rid of that nasty headboard banging thing? And what about Newton’s law? For every action,there is an equal and opposite reaction? He’d blow himself out the door!!!(no pun intended)
I have only one question.
How do you avoid the wet spot in zero gravity?
You know, I’ve always wondered ….. Those tall manly and rigid Saturn V rocket, proud and steaming in the Florida humidity …. The smooth and curvaceous shuttle, over on her back, bay doors opening slowly, invitingly, with that cute little canadarm emerging tentatively from it’s little nest.
And the docking procedure!! Oh dear Lord, let us not forget the docking procedures. To say nothing or re-entry.
Cosmic coitus — now that’s the ticket !
You just know that either the videos will end up on Youtube or someone will simulate the “experiment” and that will end up on Youtube.
Doggy style was already successfully tested in 1957:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laika
I wonder if in the almost 8 years since the article was written if any progress has been made.
Forget the mile high club. It’s the 10,000 mile high club.
they (NASA) won’t tell if conception took place in zero-G………..
Woodporter;
I’ve got three words for Igor: John Wayne Bobbitt.
Cheers.
Pretyy funny comments. But what about the post-coital fag???
(That’s cigarette for enquiring yung minds!)
“… young minds.”
Perview is my fiend
How long will it be before the gay lobby demands equal research?
Two guinea pigs then tested them in real zero-gravity conditions…
If Bill Clinton were still President, I’m sure that NASA would have tested a threesome.
Seriously, did they really need to conduct some official experimentation? Humankind’s sexual urge can always be expected to get the job done as required.
Woodporter — not unless there is some taxpayer money to be made — you figure it out…
Silicon Valley Jim — yea but that would cost us 3 times the money — LOLOL
Oh, well, if some weird French guy says so, then I suppose it MUST be true!
Seriously, people. How gullible are you?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Document_12-571-3570
I’m wondering about the computer geeks that ran the computer simulations…
Inquiring minds want to know: How does that swing thingy work in zero gravity?
Maybe it’s just me, but how is this different from sex here on Earth?
“Only four positions were found possible without “mechanical assistance”. The other six needed a special elastic belt and inflatable tunnel, like an open-ended sleeping bag.”
When they find the best style they will name it “The Mission Position”
Well, I have always secretly wondered if a Wonderbra was needed to lift and separate in space…
Wifey and I also wondered about a few positions if there wasn’t gravity so we could volunteer.(and yeah, we’re old but we ain’t dead)
I am also surprised that this hasn’t morphed into “Top Ten Pick-up Lines in Space”.
Ah, but what about the assoicated sociodynamics of the sex activity, such as…‘getting rid of the babe.’
(Before leaping to conclusions as to what I mean, please click the above link.)
I’d heard rumors before that this had been done. I think it must be pretty awesome to make love in a zero gravity environment.
If one were really curious, one could go to the NASA website, to the Space Shuttle sub-website,
http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/shuttle/main/index.html
use the search feature and see what missions were flown in 1996, and their crews.
There aren’t that many female astronauts, even less then, and it ought to be a fairly easy process of elimination to at least figure out who the woman was.
OK, I went and did the Sherlock Holmes work myself.
There were seven Shuttle flights in 1996, numbered STS-72, -75, -76, -77, -78, -79, -80.
Only three Shuttle flights had a female astronaut aboard.
STS-80 http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/shuttle/shuttlemissions/archives/sts-80.html
STS-78 http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/shuttle/shuttlemissions/archives/sts-78.html
STS-77 http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/shuttle/shuttlemissions/archives/sts-77.html
Each of those missions respective webpages have a crew group photo and a brief description of the purposes and activities of the mission.
Only STS-78 had a lot of human medical research AND had a female crew member. USAF Colonel Susan Helms, a USAF Academy grad with multiple engineering degrees, a pilot (and she’s spent time at Cold Lake working with you Canucks on CF-18s) and quite nice looking lady. Her photo and NASA bio at http://www.jsc.nasa.gov/Bios/htmlbios/helms.html
@Dave in Pa.:
Maybe I misfired with the joke I posted above, in the sense of officiality, but there was something really odd in Ms. Nowak’s breakdown that can’t really be explained by drug use or prior instability missed by NASA.
It’s understandable that NASA as an orgnaization would want to cast her as a sickie, especially given what you posted just above. Brig. Gen. Helms (she’s been promoted recently), as far as I know, hasn’t gone wild at all.
Nevertheless, one of the more unstudied subjects in the anthropology of the modern has been, to wit, “Release of Repressed Sex Jealousy In The Human Female: Behavioural Consequences.”
Y’all can take it as a warning. It’s strange out there.
@Dave in Pa.:
Maybe I misfired with the joke I posted above, in the sense of officiality, but there was something really odd in Ms. Nowak’s breakdown that can’t really be explained by drug use or prior instability missed by NASA.
It’s understandable that NASA as an organization would want to cast her (aside) as a sickie, especially given what you posted just above. Brig. Gen. Helms (she’s been promoted recently), as far as I know, hasn’t gone wild at all.
Nevertheless, there is such a thing as jealousy. The human female is also prone to it.
Yeah Dave, she is pretty good looking. And Canadian astronaut Robert Thirsk was on that mission too…
I recall faintly a story about Shannon Lucid having to fend off the russian astronauts on Mir. It must have gotten really lonely up there. Or maybe I have that wrong, and they were expecting her to be the cook/maid, or something. (Actually the more I think about it, it was the latter)
“Well, I have always secretly wondered if a Wonderbra was needed to lift and separate in space…”
Texas Canuck, the answer is no. Female astronauts have reported being particularly “perky” in space. However, there is a downside as well; fluid redistribution in the body in zero gee causes male “crew members” to reportedly be about an inch shorter.
the visual is great…
ya can’t swing a wrench in space without it flying off into space, one good push and it’s “oh shit sorry honey”, like bug splat on the windshield
I always assumed that NASA was using the *G* in their formula to input the factor for gravity. Little did I know that it was actually the search for the *spot*.
I once read a book about a pig who went out in space. After a while, he got “boared.”
PS: Ques: If athletes get “athletes foot,” what are astronauts afflicted with?
Anws: “Missile toe.”