Yesterday I received an email that I’ve received permission to share. I’ve edited the identifying details, as the writer would like to preserve her privacy;
Hi Kate,
I have enjoyed your blog since discovered it during the election.
I trust if you share any of my email that you would keep me anonymous please. I am still having *issues* to say the least with regards to my husbands death.
[The investigation into the circumstances of his death during a training exercise] is still ongoing, at least I think it is. I have never EVER been officially updated on it. That said, the only thing that has been confirmed is there was no pilot error (important for me and my husbands memory to bring that up).
The reason I am emailing you is the issue of banning the media from the base when the soldiers’ remains are returned to their families. While my husband was not overseas, I will share with you my personal experience with the media and a very public death.
Thankfully the media had yet to discover my house when I had to go see my husband for the first time. They found me by 6 AM the following morning. My parents had driven up immediately after my frantic phone call. My father stepped outside to get the papers and he was besieged (to say it lightly) with media camped out in my driveway! They were knocking at my door, putting the cameras on us as we opened it. There was always their cars there, with them sitting in them, waiting for someone to come or go. Phone call after phone call to the house when the lines were needed for more important issues. Our grief was made very public. I was asked if I wanted media at the funeral and I agreed to have them there. I wanted the people of Canada to know that even when Canada’s sons and daughters do not go overseas, lives are put on the lone on a daily basis for the safety and security of every Canadian. To show them how the phrase “military cut backs’ translates into real life in the forces. I had insisted that there not be a close up on any family member. I was sure Joe Blow watching the news did not need to see my tears, or those of my children to know we were distraught. Yet this rule was broken.
The media also pushed for the release of the names of those killed ASAP. Why?? Does it matter to Joe Blow? Shouldn’t it matter more that ALL family (not just immediate) and close friends are informed personally even by phone than to hear it on the news? Families of victims killed in auto accidents can request that the names not be released and Joe Blow doesn’t complain.
About the Peace tower and the flag flap, if anyone understand tradition it is a military member and his family. Did I expect the flag at the Peace tower to be flown at 1/2 mast for my husband?? oh hell no! But I did expect a phone call or something from our Prime Minister? Just the letter with his stamped signature would have to be good enough. He was in Europe and there is no way that letter was written there and sent to me to receive so quickly. It is also noticeable the signature is from a stamp and not hand signed. I did get a touching phone call and a lovely letter from the Governor General, HE Clarkson.
I will end this letter now. I could go on but I am sure you don’t want to hear all the sordid details of how a military widow is really treated.
Except to add, that if I were to walk into funerals of people I didn’t know stating it is my right to know who they are etc I’d be frowned on or even thrown out.
Think of this email when you see the tape replays shot by CTV news yesterday from over the fence at CFB Trenton.
If you’ve never forwarded a post from SDA to family and friends before – consider doing it with this one. The media has been screaming for tranparency. Well, let’s give it to them. Turn the “camera” back on the microphone holders for a change, and let ordinary Canadians see the mob for the self-absorbed ratings vultures that they are.
Thank you for making it as clear as can be why the media has no business in this issue. As a currently serving member of the armed forces (22+years) who has been on deployments I can speak for myself and my spouse (also a military member) when I say that I agree with the governments decision to limit the press. I honestly beleive is that the press is acting like a scorned child who cannot get their way after being used to getting it for so long. This flag and access debate only tarnishes what is a solemn occassion for the military and the families concerned.
Is it possible that the MSM is stalking Canadians on the streets of Canada?
I saw part of the CTV report last night. They stated that they took the pictures through the ‘barbed wire’–when obviously it was a chain link fence that had been in place for years–but ‘barbed wire’ sounds so much more sinister. As usual, the MSM made themselves the centre of the story–and this is showing respect for the fallen soldiers?
I don’t think we can begin to imagine how the MSM has played with our minds over the last 13 years. Talk about subliminal advertising–the Liberal MSM are masters at it.
Vultures. All under the idea that Canadians have a ‘right’ to know.
What else can we expect from the media?
It’s damned if you do, or damned if you don’t.
Had Harper allowed complete access, they would have more grist for the ‘Why are we in Iraq supporting the USA and allowing our poor Canadian boys to be killed’ meme. Never mind the fact that they are soldiers and they know what they are getting into. Closing access gives rise to the ‘It’s public and we should be allowed access… to everything’. Don’t forget Mr. Zolf’s ‘We made you, so you owe us’ statements.
Good move for Harper. Privacy for the families should come first.
So what’s the point here? Because this anon woman didn’t like the media coverage of a a private funeral in which she was involved, we are supposed to conclude that the government is right to ban the media from a public ceremony?
My heartfelt sympathies to you & your family, this letter only reinforces what the member’s & families of our forces have been saying & our current government has been listening. The media has not done it’s homework & has not respected the wishes of fallen comrades families. Thankyou for your letter & thankyou to kate for posting it.
And finally thankyou to all who have served.
Thank you so much for this, Kate. It says exactly what is right – that the MSM have absolutely no right to be there. Nor, does the public have any right to insist that the Peace Tower flag be lowered -ignoring that the flag IS lowered at the Defence Headquarters, military bases, and hometowns.
Interesting though, is that if you choose to blow yourself up in the washroom in a Tim Hortons, endangering the general public in the process, your anonymity is unquestioned.(for the sake of the family!)
Why the MSM are such vultures when a member of the military dies is beyond me. The public does not demand to know! I have never met anyone in my life who is not repulsed by their tactics in cases like this. Journalism? Not likely. Voyeurism is a better description. Has anyone ever done a poll about this issue?
Forever seared in my mind is images of the last soldier’s coffin homecoming. The media, who are claiming that they have been “respectful” zeroed in on a widow who had draped herself sobbing on the coffin of her husband. She was distraught when theyhad to remove her to put his body in the hurst. The disgusting talking heads commented on this and then instead of showing the military procession over and over they showed this young woman’s grief over and over.
I was absolutely horrified at their callous disregard for this woman’s grief and the fact that the media thought we whould be intruding on this. They constantly zoom in on sobbing family members, fatherless children and sobbing wives. Then chase them down for “comment”. How sick is that!!!! The media are just the pimps for large corporations to sell advertising and make profits.
As you say Kate – the media does NOT speak for me. They are NOT the voice of the people. OUr elected officials are the voice of the people and the media’s opinion on those voices is a violation of our rights to get the truth.
I say thank God we finally have a government who is not afraid to make the tought decisions that are not based on polls. The media is franticallh now chasing around getting “opinions” to bolster their macabre self serving position.
It is all about THEM. The media in Ottawa firmly and truly believes that THEIR opinion is the only one that counts and politicians , the choice of the people, are simply actors in their fictionalized reporting of events.
Sorry for the rant. I have buried family members and my grief was not made into a sidewho. I expect no less for the families of our brave soldiers.
Someone email this link to Bill Graham, who was scrumming the virtuous media yesterday in the HOC lobby.
“Public ceremony”
Riiiiiigghhhhht.
“Oh look hon, they’re carrying a coffin with a Canadian flag on it.”
“Yes, you see all kinds of things when you drive into CFB Trenton, a *public* place. Now where on this base can we get an ice cream?”
Ya Jason ,Thats exactly the point.DUH!!
If anyone saw the CBC lead story last night on the national, you would be as angry as I am. Their lead was not about the return of the soldiers, but the fact they (The press) had been excluded from the return. It has to be the most disrespectful piece of journalism ever done. As well their attempts to show the dead bodies of those soldiers in their damage/destroyed vehicle night after night after night is as distasteful.
As a former reservist who was fortunate enough to work along side our regular forces, I hope the Liberals and the NDP start learning that respect must be paid to the families and the soldier�s wishes above their political wants or needs.
Hey if they were blown to pieces would Mr. Graham�s or Mr. Layton�s family want to see that over and over again on the news. Would they want someone making political gestures or protesting outside their funerals.
It is vulgar and horrific that these soldiers sacrifice is being used and abused in such horrible ways.
So Jason Cherniak is a troll judging by his comments. Show a little class, Jason. Try to restrain yourself from participating in the NecroPolitik of the screaming media and the left.
Kate I apologize in advance for feeding this troll.
news@ctv.ca
That’s where you write to complain. Also – call the local affiliate and yell at them, too.
Why not let the next of kin decide whether or not to allow the press?
Jason Cherniak, you are an idiot.
You wrote:
“So what’s the point here? Because this anon woman didn’t like the media coverage of a a private funeral in which she was involved, we are supposed to conclude that the government is right to ban the media from a public ceremony?”
Tell me how the grief of a young widow and her children is in any way, shape, or form PUBLIC?
The Conservative Government simply refuses to do what the Liberal Party often did; Use dead soldiers as a photo-op. Being a Liberal, Jason obviously does not understand the difference between PRINCIPLE and political-expediency, in fact, to a Liberal mind they are one and the same. Keep trolling Jason, I’m sure there will be a lucrative pay-cheque coming your way if you stick with the Liberals until they are back in power.
start sending this letter to every advertiser on CTV & CBC.
Go their website, find the consumer feedback link and tell them tis is why you will not watch CTV or CBC and you will boycott teh products of advertisers on those networks.
Thank you for posting this Kate.
And thankyou to the writer.
I did not like the pissing match that Mr. Harper and the press were in but if it was the price for having a responsible Conservative government, who cares. No one cared besides the press and the blogosphere. It was petty and stupid but it was tolerable.
Now the press has carried their little war onto ground they have no business on. To pitch their little circus tent on the burial grounds of our fallen war dead is a disgrace I will never forgive them for.
I have written CTV and informed them that I will no longer be watching NewsNet or their national news. I am so angry.
“So what’s the point here? Because this anon woman didn’t like the media coverage of a a private funeral in which she was involved, we are supposed to conclude that the government is right to ban the media from a public ceremony?”
The point is that when citizens can’t govern themselves, the government’s job is to govern them. And when the media can’t control themselves and start to do things that are reprehensible to all other standards of decency (as this widow said, barging in on strangers’ funerals) then perhaps the government should stop them from being such asses.
Freedom of the press is not the same as absolute freedom. The media has a freedom to report, but people have a right not to be stalked. When the media gets this hungry over private moments (especially the families of those who have made the ultimate sacrifice) they become no better than paparazzi.
Since you seem to have no problem, answer me this. How would you feel if you had 20 to 30 strangers pressing in on you and flashing cameras at the funeral of your mom, dad, brother or sister?
Oh, I’m sure you would have no problem.
But, let’s face it. The left does not believe in family “values” so why should a grieving family’s wishes be respected?
One such person told me that she felt the whole idea of “families” should be done away with since it then would make it easier for single moms and children from broken families. Their entire phylosophy is if it makes it easier it has to be better.(The exception is their rights have priority, no matter how dificult they make it for others).
Maybe Harper will have to “point his finger” at” the news reporter to be allowed in to report the event to the public, based on their behavior at the last news media event. If they act like spoiled children, treat them like spoiled children.
By signing up for the military, our soldiers have agreed to do a job other Canadians do not take on.
What do they then become, some kind of ‘property’ of the Canadian public?
Does the family of that soldier then become public property, too?
The e-mail writer has expressed how uncomfortable it was to become the focus, and how the media broke the terms of the agreement with them.
What stays with this writer was that *lack* of respect given to her family.
The government has not refused media access to *every* step of the process of remembering those who died!
They have asked, only, that for those families who have wanted privacy when the coffins return to Trenton, that they be given privacy.
We all know how the media disrespected that yesterday.
For those families who want the media there, for every step, will know that other families do not.
The military will have to sort that out.
The media have already shown what matters to them.
While it is true there is no “I” in team, it is becoming apparent there is a lot of “me” in media. This farce is all about the MSM and their entitlement to shape the world. There is probably a camera crew in Toronto outside the coroner’s office ready to get the scoop as these soldier’s remains are taken for autopsy.
While looking at the CTV site to see what was so important that the media couldn’t stay away (more paparazzi photos than photojournalism), I did see some video links to a W5 imbeded reporter on patrol in Afghanistan. It was, for the most part, pretty good although I imagine all the soldiers talking about hunting, finding and killing the enemy probably gave lefties a kniption.
Take note here people – Stephen Harper is willing to take a hit from the media over this and the flags.
Some people are calling it an attempt to conceal the fact that we are receiving casualties from Afghanistan – cover it up how? How many Canadians look at the flag at parliament for casualty reports? And banning the media simply ensures they’ll speak about nothing else.
People say they want our politicians to be honest and forthright. Then they blast them for saying things like they’re not going to reduce gas taxes, or they’ll repeal income tax cuts (that one was during an election!) or they’re not going to lower the flags at parliament or the media should respect the privacy of grieving families. Instead of looking for excuses to hate the government, try to see the bigger picture.
It is not the press, or the public, or even the Prime Minister who should make these decisions. It is the military and their families. In this case, 3 families wanted privacy, and one did not. They got privacy. Get over it – we still get all the details without the photo op.
End rant.
the right to know what? they reported on the circumstances of the deaths. what possible value could reporting on the funerals hold other than crass sensationalism?
How long until:
a) the goofs in the media start demanding to be present at the autopsies.
b) the goofs in the Liberal party back them up.
c) Liberal-lovin’ goofs with unread blogs start backing them too.
Shall we watch whether all of these so called supporters of our troops wear red on Fridays? If the media thinks they are so almighty important to “shape” this country how many of them are even promoting the soldier’s family initiative for Red Fridays?
What a wonderful story that would be! Canadians showing their respect . That seems to be what the media thinks their Liberal/NDP/entitled media rant is all about.
But, oh, maybe THAT story would not be about bashing Prime minister Harper. And THAT is the all encompassing mission – so the press gallery can PROVE they are the boss and help get rid of Conservatives who actually think elected officials should make the decisions.
The media no longer even “pretends” to be impartial. Take for example Jim Travers calling our Prime Minister, the leader of our country, our representative on the national and world stage ” a doughboy in a fishing vest.”
I agree – time to contact advertisers.
Unfortunately the liberal media did not pursue the theft of tax dollars by the Liberal party with the same vigor that they pathetically exhibit in these circumstances.
you’ve produced an email from a woman who supports the media ban. we’ve heard from parents and soldiers who don’t. i attend to agree with chreniak, how does this post justify the govt’s media ban? and to “Al” who states “let’s face it. The left does not believe in family “values” so why should a grieving family’s wishes be respected?” It seems to me after visiting this blog many times that the “left” consists of anyone who doesn’t support the agenda of the current govt carte blanche. I have voted PC, Liberal and even NDP in my lifetime. Political dogmatism is too restrictive for me. However, I can’t ever see myself supporting Harper. Someone tell my wife and kids that I don’t support family values.
My brother was killed in the service 25 years ago, If CTV or any other reporters would have showed up at the cemetery or inside the funeral home, or anywhere near us, we would have buried THEM.
My family was contacted, invited, and did also meet with the “Fifth Estate TV Show” after the ceremony to explain our plight, which they thankfully aired.
Suicide bombers at Pravda go all out
I hope you all saw it on Pravda last night. It was television terrorism.
I did a bit on it at Duke’s Place
Disgusting. I am sure they had to dig around to find witnesses to their cause. Right to see other peoples coffins on TV? Really!
Last night CTV hit a new low. They set up a media van outside CFB Trenton, put a camera on the extendable mast on top of the van and broadcast live coverage of the repratriation ceremony. What a bunch of scrumbags, they get denied access to the proceedings so they pull a stunt like this? All in the guise of “honouring” our troops. Yeah right, how bout honouring the mission these men saw fit to die for?
Davidson,
If you agree that there are both families who don’t mind the media being around and there are families who do mind the media being around, don’t you think it would be prudent to keep the media away when there are multiple families around at a military/family ceremony and allow those who do not mind the media to invite the media to their own private ceremonies?
Is there a problem with simply erring on the side of caution for those who do not want their grieving to be fodder for the masses? What is so wrong with being compassionate for what are generally (and pretty much universally) private matters?
To the anonymous widow: thank you for sharing this and we feel your pain …
To Jason: You are an idiot and callous troll.. Let us know as soon as a member of your family dies of a tragic death and we will alert the media to have a 24 hour stalking of your life . Afterwards, can you please share with us your pain and anguish and maybe we’ll have sympathy for idiots like you …
Did you notice on CTV’s when they had the camera – it was not the flag draped casket they were trying to zoom in on. It was the grieving family members. I was disgusted to see they did in fact air footage of family members – one lady in sunglasses was being supported by a gentleman and followed by some others. Their complaint was not that they could not SEE the coffin – it was that they could not get close enough to the families to exploit their suffering.
CTV in fact betrayed their right to privacy. Watch them make a circus of closeups of sobbing widows and parents and children at the memorial services and funerals.
If it is the coffins they want to show us, as they claim, we saw them in detail in Afghanistan when 3,000 miliary honoured them in a very moving service.
Nope – ratings, which affect advertising sales, call for human suffering – if it bleeds it leads. Sharks. Ambulance chasers.
“Why not let the next of kin decide whether or not to allow the press?”
What do you do if more than one family is involved and one family says “OK” and another “No way”? With the current policy, if families wish to have media involvement they may do so at the individual funeral. Those who do not, are then able to maintain privacy.
I can’t imagine trying to deal with the loss of my husband and plan a funeral while the phone is ringing off the hook with strangers asking for “a comment on how I feel”. No doubt, the media is boorish enough to ask family to comment on the deployment. I can hear it now, “I’m sorry for your loss Mrs X but I’d like to know if this terrible tragedy has in any way affect your opinion on the deployment?�
And yes, if some guy who torches himself in public is entitled to “privacy” then so are our soldiers.
When the media give equal play to the good things our soldiers are doing, maybe I’ll have a bit of pity for their lack of access.
I saw CTV’s coverage, and I think it was adequate (although whiny with regards to the media “ban”). Zoomed in shot of a flag-draped coffin. That’s all I need to know a soldier died.
Last night on the CTV National News, Lloyd Robertson asked Craig Oliver for his thoughts on all of this. It was always boggles me when one media personality asks another to comment on the behaivour of the pack, and predictability Oliver stated – with a straight face – that the media “never” stick microphones in the faces of the grieving military families. He claimed that the media are “always” respectful.
I call bullshit on him.
CTV, CBC, etc. show us the clips, proving the “respect” the media shows in these and other similar situations. I dare you.
Just to respond to comments of a couple of previous posters, there is no “media ban”. Families are welcome to invite the press to the family’s funeral. It is the military funeral where the press are not invited.
Also, a question for you. How do you differentiate between the main stream media and paparazzi? I feel that the MSM used to be much more respectful of people’s privacy. Now I think the lines are blurred. Wikipedia defines paparazzi as follows:
“Paparazzi is a plural term (paparazzo is the singular form) for photographers who take candid photographs of celebrities, usually by relentlessly shadowing them in their public and private activities.”
I do not agree with the “grief hounds” but I do agree that the public should be made aware of each and every sacrifice made by our soldiers. I worry that this media ban will eventually lead to a permanent gag order concerning all the Afghan deaths and events. Gen Hillier is already under one, he cannot make any statements unless they go through the PM’s office now. I’m a slippery slope kinda gal.
Unfortunately you can “read” about a death, but it does not really set in, until there is a coffin with a flag draped over it splashed across a page. Showing the family is not necessary. I know that the media is all about shock value, I wish they would have some respect for them.
I come from a military family, I married the military and the inlaws are all military. They have the same opinion I am expressing here. The flag should be lowered, the same flag they died for and under. If fat cats in parliment who served 30 years ago drop dead from natural causes get that same respect, then so should the men and women who died for our country.
When there were major events at Cold Lake, the base used to have a base photographer cover the event and a lot of times, those pics were made available to the media upon request.
Does anyone know if Trenton had a base photographer at the ramp ceremony? To me, using photos taken by a base photographer would provide a balance between covering the event and providing friends and family a degree of privacy and dignity.
What it wouldn’t provide for is camera crews sticking cameras into the faces of cying family members.
I’m just wondering if there was a base photographer
Jason is such a genius. The key word in his statement is PRIVATE.
I guess in Jason’s world press freedom means throngs of reporters have the right, even when it’s in poor taste, to invade a greaving family gathering no matter the circumstances.
I was watching global news last night and all I heard was them whining how the Cdn. gov’t. is following the American example of not allowing the filming of caskets being unloaded off of airplanes. Therefore, if the msm doesn’t like it, then it must be ‘American’ style.
The General Hillier muzzling story was invented by a reporter who is now the new head of the Parliamentary Press gallery. In her article she claimed that “an anonymous source” and “according to an un-named official” said that the General had to clear all of his speeches with the PMO. Good reporting huh! Unimpeachble sources so you can make up a story. The fact that both General Hillier and the Prime MInister denied this was . of course, debunked as this reporter’s anonymious un-named sources were her own fiction just like Jean Chretien’s anonymous fictional homeless person.
In fact, Gen. Hillier said he does not WRITE his speeches – he just has notes on little cards if anything at all. The process is the same as it has always been – even with the Liberals. he lets the PMO know when and where he is speaking. This makes sense since the media will ask the minister or PM to comment at times on his speeches.
Never doubt the duplicity of the press. And, for those who are media savvy there seems to be a lot of anonymous un-named sources these days – sometimes masked as “high ranking Conservative”, or long-serving government beurocrat or conservative supporter who are making all of these “comments” which, surprise, mirror the reporter’s own fictionalized storyline.
As a former journalist I also know that if you have a storyline and ask enough people you can always, always find someone who will agree with you.
It is yellow journalism at its worst and this country, or at least our two major TV networks and a few of the multi-billion dollar media monopolies are a classic case of “freedom of the press” damaging the entire fabric of our country.
Advertisers speak louder than any of us can though. Time to fight back??
“Gen Hillier is already under one [a publication ban], he cannot make any statements unless they go through the PM’s office now.”
Not correct – as the PMO has stated, and Hillier’s ofice has confirmed, the PMO asked Hillier to advise them of the subjects he would be covering in public statements so that Harper could be prepared to respond if asked about them. The PMO did not assert any right to determine the content of Hillier’s statements, or even to be made aware of the specific comments in advance. Hillier’s office was quite adamant that he would refuse either request in any event.
Try to keep up.
These people (MSM) are not vultures, but swine.
I heard Lewis Mckensie on the Radio in Ottawa here the other day expaining that there was (i beieve he said) 27 killed in Kosovo. The MSM did not give a damn then about those losses.
Don’t these grief-mongers arms ever get tired of self-flagulating ? Can’t I take over ?
It was just two days ago that Kate posted the rules for making comment on this site, and people were still making remarks about those rules yesterday.
Although Jason C.’s remarks here were unfortunate, what he did does not constitute “trolling.” It would be sad to see the accusation of ‘trolling’ become a club to stifle dissenting opinion here. And I find it exceptionally difficult to believe that was the intent of posting the rules on Monday.
A moving letter from a military widow.
I suspect many thousands will read and appreciate her point of view because of the internet and high traffic sites such as SDA.
Will the widow’s point of view also make the nightly news on MSM?
Not likely, simply because MSM needs to keep the issue alive in order for the media itself to remain a large part of the story.
“Look folks we are shut out by the nasty conservatives from showing grieving family close-ups.”
A classic case of the media creating a selfserving story where one does not need to be.
Or, how about media voyeurism?
� a person (entity) who enjoys seeing the pain or distress of others.
Most reasonable people will appreciate the privacy afforded the families of the initial arrival of the fallen.
“the right to know what? they reported on the circumstances of the deaths. what possible value could reporting on the funerals hold other than crass sensationalism?”
What value indeed? The MSM seems to now be against military involvement in Afghanistan, although they were not when the Liberals committed us there. Now they perpetuate a defeatist mentality by sensationalizing the deaths and injuries our troops.
I’ve been to a few funerals in my day. I also remember the bodies each night coming home from Vietnam. I watched diligently as people I grew up with were over there.
This is what Bush/Harper doesn’t want people to see. But I don’t remember any camara crews filming the individual families burying their sons, maybe because there were to many.
I agree that we should see the CASKETS coming home, We know who the people are who fill these boxes and what they did is that not enough?
But I’ve been to enough funerals and don’t want to be a part of someone else’s everyday.