Potent Pew is reporting there’s another version of the Liberal Red Book on an unlinked page.
Heh. Google.
(Update: It’s an earlier version.)
Potent Pew is reporting there’s another version of the Liberal Red Book on an unlinked page.
Heh. Google.
(Update: It’s an earlier version.)
Kate, I didn’t notice this until after I had sent you the pdf and posted the comment. Look at the “date created” for that pdf: June 2,2004.
This is an older version – look at the end of the document, “Give us your vote on June 28.”
Boy, is my face red.
Another red book? No, another red napkin.
While vacationing on a ranch, Paul Martin gets thrown from his horse, lands on a rattlesnake, gets bitten and dies because the
emergency room at the nearest hospital is too understaffed to treat him in time.
So his soul arrives in Heaven and he is met by St. Peter at
the Pearly Gates.
“Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you
settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a Liberal around these parts, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in; I’m a believer.” says Martin.
“I’d like to just let you in, but I have orders
from the Man Himself.
He says you have to spend one day in Hell and one
day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you’ll live for eternity.”
“But, I’ve already made up my mind, I want to be
in Heaven,” replied Martin”.
“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.” And with that,
St. Peter escorts him to an elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle
of a lush golf course; the sun is shining in a cloudless sky, the temperature a perfect 72 degrees.
In the distance is a beautiful clubhouse.
Standing in front of it is his Dad, and thousands
of other Liberals who had helped him out over the years—Pierre Trudeau, Jean Marchand, Pelletier, St Laurent etc.
The whole of the “center Left” was there, everyone laughing, happy, and casually but expensively dressed. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of ‘suckers and peasants.’ They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.
The Devil himself comes up to Martin with a frosty
drink, “Have a Margarita and relax, Paul!”
“Uh, I can’t drink anymore, I took a pledge,” says
Martin, dejectedly.
“This is Hell, son. You can drink and eat all you
want and not worry, and it just gets better from there!”
Martin takes the drink and finds himself liking
the Devil, who he thinks is a really very friendly guy who tells funny jokes like himself, and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like they pulled on the GST and Free Trade promises.
They are having such a great time that, before he realizes it,
it’s time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and
waves as Martin steps on the elevator and heads upward.
When the elevator door reopens, he is in Heaven
again and St. Peter is waiting for him. “Now it’s time to visit Heaven,”the old man says, opening the gate.
So for 24 hours Martin is made to hang out with a
bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other’s
company, talk about things other than money, and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or frat boy joke among them; no fancy country clubs and, while the food tastes great,
it’s not caviar or lobster. And these people are
all poor, he doesn’t see anybody he knows, and he isn’t even treated like someone special!
“Whoa,” he says uncomfortably to himself. “Pierre
Trudeau never prepared me for this!”
The day done, St. Peter returns and says, “Well,
you’ve spent a day in Hell
and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to
live for eternity.”
With the ‘Jeopardy’ theme playing softly in the
background, Martin reflects
for a minute, then answers: “Well, I would never
have thought I’d say this — I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all
— but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends.”
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he
goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell.
The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial waste, kind of like Sudbury.
He is horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags.
They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and
hands black with grime.
The Devil comes over to Martin and puts an arm
around his shoulder.
“I don’t understand,” stammers a shocked Martin,
“Yesterday I was here and
there was a golf course and a clubhouse and we ate
lobster and caviar, drank booze. We lazed around and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!”.
The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly, and purrs,
“Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us!”
I was listening to Goldy from the CPC this morning and he said that there is no mention of the “Notwithstanding Clause”, as well as other items the Liberals have pledged. Additionally, the bastards are running the “military” ad in Quebec, they’ve only pulled it in English Canada. The Conservatives seem pretty sure the Libs are broke.
Jason Cherniak, Liberal blogger on the CTV election blog, and unabashed Paul Martin supporter, completely loses it.
According to Jason, it’s all the fault of the “mole”. The “mole” was the one who released the Red Book. The “mole” put the military ad on the website against the explicit instructions of Paul Martin, who supports our troops. Paul Martin should speak out and blame the “mole.”
I did not make this up.
I did find some forensic accounting things though!
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