13 Replies to “Zebra Fish DNA Unlocks Secret To Human Skin Tone”

  1. Cool, now we can have scales on our skin. Hey, since it’s from a zebra fish, maybe someone can request that they get one side of their body black and one side white, just like that old Star Trek episode. Then the libs can love them if they’re turned one way, and hate them from the other direction!
    Now that is bizarre.

  2. Dear Doug,
    You should be aware that some idiot is writing absolute nonsense and signing your e-mail address to it. You should take action on this before your reputation is further sullied!
    Like how to you twist a story about finding a skin color gene to a Liberal slam.

  3. Ottawa�In a shocking revelation, an international team of scientists has completed a rough draft of the DNA of the closest primate relative, the chimpanzee, and reportedly made a comprehensive comparison with the Liberal genetic blueprint. With the startling findings, the work may eventually answer the age-old mystifying question: What makes Liberals human?
    Hoping one day to answer that question, an international consortium of 67 researchers are said to have completed a rough draft of the roughly three billion building blocks of chimpanzee DNA and compared it to a road map of the genetic sequence of the species, liberalus maximus, commonly referred to as Liberals.
    In a series of papers said to be published in the journals Nature and Science, the investigators report that 98 percent of Liberals and chimp DNA is identical. But future research will focus on the remaining two percent of genes that are different, distinguishing them from their nearest primate relative, according to Robert Waterston head of the Department Genome Sciences at the University of Washington School of Medicine in Seattle.
    �What you are actually seeing are the individual events that have taken place in the course of evolution,� Waterston said. �If you see a difference between chimps and Liberals it�s almost certainly because of a single evolutionary event: English. That�s the only real difference, making this an eye-opening development. It certainly helps us to understand why Liberals are the way they are.�
    For example, Dr. Waterston and his colleagues compared genes in chimps and Liberals that regulated the activity of other genes. The investigators found the master genes had undergone very little changes in Liberals, but not in the non-human primates, a link of scientific importance to Liberalism.
    German researchers also reportedly found that genes common to both chimpanzees and Liberals appear to have barely become more active in the brains of Liberals. But the activity of shared genes in other organs, such as the heart, remained the same, leaving rock solid proof that David Suzuki�s theory on Liberalism is correct.
    �I�ve always said that Liberalism is based on emotion,� laughed Suzuki. �Now I have the proof to back that up. The fact that we are linked so close to chimps doesn�t really surprise me at all. Both chimps and liberals have an inability to solve complex problems, both don�t communicate effectively and both give conservatives a blank stare when trying to explain rudimentary mathematics and common sense tasks to them.�
    �This is utterly amazing,� noted Sean Hannity, talk radio host. �Let not your heart be troubled liberals. We�ll try to help.�
    Professor Waterston noted that the liberal genetic roadmap and now the completed chimpanzee DNA blueprint offer investigators a catalogue of information, detailing years of behavioral patterns and disorders.
    �This ability to draw evolutionary comparisons really adds great richness to what would otherwise be a one-dimensional story. And now conservatives, doing their best to keep a straight face, can look at it through the lens of evolution and peak into the evolution�s lab notebook to understand what really went on,� added Dr. Waterson. �This is probably one of the biggest political discoveries of our time.�
    In addition to providing answers to long-sought questions about evolution, researchers said that they may some day be able to use the genetic differences between Liberals and chimps to understand how emotional outbursts arise and how entitlement mentality grows.
    �This scientific evidence explains quite a bit,� commented Keith Boag, CBC radio talk show host. �Have you seen some of the Liberals today? If a picture�s worth a thousand words, then a thousand genes explain the rest?�
    �Maybe Liberals are right about their own cheating, theft, lying and the sense of entitlement,� said Peter Mansbridge, talking head for the CBC. �Maybe it does come down to genetics.�

  4. Too much fun – now a whole new way to make money (get rid of freckles..) and change styles (in style this month, freckled clevage..) and to be hatful (she should really do something about her complexion..) Should take us away from those boring, mundane things like crooked politians, thieving crooks and burnt holiday cookies.

  6. Kada: if I were a chimp, I’d sue. Being compared to a Liberal is worse than being compared to Conrad Black (a piker by comparison).
    Wow!

  8. OT: Kate where is your post on the CBC about Saskatchewan / Alberta petroleum geography? It was there this morning or am I just seeing things? Did the CBC censure you on your third article?

  11. Take off the tin hats, fellas. We’re just trying to get the graphic to load more cleanly and have to fiddle with the html code.

  12. I can see it now. Another ‘Foundation’ is endowed with pillowsacks of our cash, working away with the UN to promote global unity – by developing the ‘Plaid Pill’.

  13. Just wait for the headlines in the New York Times EVEDENCE SUGGESTS MAN DECENDED FROM ZEBRA FISH

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