You won’t really have any idea when you were middle-aged until you die.
It needed to be said.
11 Replies to “It’s getting late”
Does this mean that when we grow up, we can be just like we are now?
HEY! Middle-aged will ALWAYS be 10 years older than I am at any given time. ALWAYS.
I’m stuck in my twenties, always will be. I’ve no idea who that is in the mirror
Paul,
Here’s a hint. Does He look anything like your father?
In reply to someone saying “you’re only young once” my father replied ” yeah, but you’re old for the rest of your life.”
Hell Doug, he looks worse than my Father ever did.
Middle age is far too young to land a Senate appointment or Order of Canada.
Plato’s Stepchild: But not too old to be appointed GG.
Mark
Ottawa
Middle age is when you submit a comment, then upon checking, can’t find it, and you hope to heck it didn’t end up in the wrong thread somewhere. 73s TG
How do you buy a $100 newspaper for a buck?
Easy. You know a great paper is coming up when something important is planned like the signing in of a new GG,
The editor probably sends out a memo to all writing staff: * OK, team, Wednesday’s issue will have the new GG’s picture a mile wide on the front page.*
*We’ll sell tons of papers. We want to draw in as many new readers as possible. That means wider readership for you. This issue demands 110% from all of you. Let’s hold onto those new readers! Go!* Editor.
Yesterday’s National Post was a $100 newspaper! ‘3s TG
Mark Collins (is your middle name Tom? no offense intended — I’m just a Tanqueray fan)
Anyway, being a stepchild I’m quite sensitive to when Canada’s dad hires a new SuperNanny (our Governor General) to mind the kids while the retired hockey star cum lawyer crafts new SuperNanny legislation so that we can all have our own little Governor General on every street corner. He’s a goalie of course which makes him eminently qualified to guard our social safety (hockey) net. He also knows that given the price of hockey (goalie) equipment, both parents in the stands, who are yelling at their uncircumcised boys to stop waiting to shoot (so that they can score), need to work, which means you need a gum expensing Federal Ministry, employing thousands of working moms and dads, to process scads of clearcut tree leveling paper farms in British Columbia, and fill out authorization forms for your kids to go to the mailbox unattended. This is a risk since your kids may get shot by an unregistered gun, floating in midair, because all the criminals are busy responding to requests by the Auditor General.
Let me sum up:
Americans often ask me why they should visit Canada. I give several reasons:
(1) Being a Bananada Republic, our currency is worth less than yours so you can buy cheap condiments for the raw meat that you chew when you drive over it on the highway. Being Barbarians, you, of course, don’t speak French, so don’t feel bad if we talk behind your back about how unsophisticated you are. You’re much better marksmen, and in the end is our beginning after all.
(2) You can hunt and fish. If you visit Atlantic Canada you can combine both and hunt fish, but only if your gun is registered. The cost per person to register a gun in Canada is something like USD $500,000 but our interest rates are low so you can take out a mortgage on your gun. You don’t have to pay it back if you hunt fish at the Royal Canadian Mint or the Post Office. The Mint loses money almost as fast as CEOs and the Post Office will lose the monthly cheques on your mortgage so all in all its win/win.
(3) Most Americans like movies and movie analogies, so let me draw on a classic movie which sums up Canada to a tee.
CaddyShack.
Rodney Dangerfield – All right thinking bloggers.
Ted Baxter – MSM in Canada
Bill Murray — Canadian voters who believe and watch the CBC. Bill, you may recall, had a Passionate Eye as he chased the gopher. Distracted by his obsession with pelvic legislation (an obsession shared by CBC worshippers) he has trouble nailing his quarry. Its unclear whether Bill was circumcised, and its possible that post circumcision pain drove him to his obsession, although its equally possible that the lack thereof did it. There is a Royal Commission working on that and they’ll be ready with their report in 2026, when Michaelle Jean’s daughter is ready to receive the report as our new Governor General.
If Bill, representing the Canadian voter, every blows up the gopher, they would have a Small Dead Animal (the emblem of this site) and throw the varmints that actually run Canada out of office when they realize that Beavers outnumber Canadians for two reasons:
(a) They are rodents.
(b) They don’t watch CBC.
Does this mean that when we grow up, we can be just like we are now?
HEY! Middle-aged will ALWAYS be 10 years older than I am at any given time. ALWAYS.
I’m stuck in my twenties, always will be. I’ve no idea who that is in the mirror
Paul,
Here’s a hint. Does He look anything like your father?
In reply to someone saying “you’re only young once” my father replied ” yeah, but you’re old for the rest of your life.”
Hell Doug, he looks worse than my Father ever did.
Middle age is far too young to land a Senate appointment or Order of Canada.
Plato’s Stepchild: But not too old to be appointed GG.
Mark
Ottawa
Middle age is when you submit a comment, then upon checking, can’t find it, and you hope to heck it didn’t end up in the wrong thread somewhere. 73s TG
How do you buy a $100 newspaper for a buck?
Easy. You know a great paper is coming up when something important is planned like the signing in of a new GG,
The editor probably sends out a memo to all writing staff: * OK, team, Wednesday’s issue will have the new GG’s picture a mile wide on the front page.*
*We’ll sell tons of papers. We want to draw in as many new readers as possible. That means wider readership for you. This issue demands 110% from all of you. Let’s hold onto those new readers! Go!* Editor.
Yesterday’s National Post was a $100 newspaper! ‘3s TG
Mark Collins (is your middle name Tom? no offense intended — I’m just a Tanqueray fan)
Anyway, being a stepchild I’m quite sensitive to when Canada’s dad hires a new SuperNanny (our Governor General) to mind the kids while the retired hockey star cum lawyer crafts new SuperNanny legislation so that we can all have our own little Governor General on every street corner. He’s a goalie of course which makes him eminently qualified to guard our social safety (hockey) net. He also knows that given the price of hockey (goalie) equipment, both parents in the stands, who are yelling at their uncircumcised boys to stop waiting to shoot (so that they can score), need to work, which means you need a gum expensing Federal Ministry, employing thousands of working moms and dads, to process scads of clearcut tree leveling paper farms in British Columbia, and fill out authorization forms for your kids to go to the mailbox unattended. This is a risk since your kids may get shot by an unregistered gun, floating in midair, because all the criminals are busy responding to requests by the Auditor General.
Let me sum up:
Americans often ask me why they should visit Canada. I give several reasons:
(1) Being a Bananada Republic, our currency is worth less than yours so you can buy cheap condiments for the raw meat that you chew when you drive over it on the highway. Being Barbarians, you, of course, don’t speak French, so don’t feel bad if we talk behind your back about how unsophisticated you are. You’re much better marksmen, and in the end is our beginning after all.
(2) You can hunt and fish. If you visit Atlantic Canada you can combine both and hunt fish, but only if your gun is registered. The cost per person to register a gun in Canada is something like USD $500,000 but our interest rates are low so you can take out a mortgage on your gun. You don’t have to pay it back if you hunt fish at the Royal Canadian Mint or the Post Office. The Mint loses money almost as fast as CEOs and the Post Office will lose the monthly cheques on your mortgage so all in all its win/win.
(3) Most Americans like movies and movie analogies, so let me draw on a classic movie which sums up Canada to a tee.
CaddyShack.
Rodney Dangerfield – All right thinking bloggers.
Ted Baxter – MSM in Canada
Bill Murray — Canadian voters who believe and watch the CBC. Bill, you may recall, had a Passionate Eye as he chased the gopher. Distracted by his obsession with pelvic legislation (an obsession shared by CBC worshippers) he has trouble nailing his quarry. Its unclear whether Bill was circumcised, and its possible that post circumcision pain drove him to his obsession, although its equally possible that the lack thereof did it. There is a Royal Commission working on that and they’ll be ready with their report in 2026, when Michaelle Jean’s daughter is ready to receive the report as our new Governor General.
If Bill, representing the Canadian voter, every blows up the gopher, they would have a Small Dead Animal (the emblem of this site) and throw the varmints that actually run Canada out of office when they realize that Beavers outnumber Canadians for two reasons:
(a) They are rodents.
(b) They don’t watch CBC.