The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. ,20016
Dear Concerned Citizen:
Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
Our administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear in Washington.You’ll be pleased to learn that thanks to concerned citizens like you, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the “Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers” program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care.
Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter…
….Pg.2
Ha!…. That’s good… send the first one to the Martin residence…
You know, a few years ago when “Canada is a Terrorist Haven” stories were in the news I thought of a very similar tactic. The politicians don’t really care about terrorists or thieves or vandals because they all live in nice areas of Rockcliffe Ottawa with a high police presence and gated homes with CCTV security. Where do the bad guys live? In the same communities you and I do! (Well, maybe not high-rent Delisle!). The political class is so far removed from the real world they honestly don’t see what the fuss is about. Put Ahmed Ressam in Paul Martin’s back yard while he’s away in some foreign country and see how nervous he gets for his poor Sheila!
Hell… he don’t care about that.. he’s to busy trying to get Pink tv in here… I don’t think he even knows were he lives, he’s been out of the country since he’s been elected, and only stop by for a visit for the next couple of weeks..
Rob, you sound so pessimistic and negative about our brave and caring Prime Minister. He works so hard sometimes I wish I could just go up to him and give him a big hug. I’m sure that would just brighten up his day! I mean with all these nasty Gomery Inquistion fraud allegations, and the mean way that Stephen Harper homophobically denies the most basic fundamental rights to our gay brothers and sisters. Not to mention the vacation he had to cut short because the USA and Israel killed off 200,000 people from the tsunami when they detonated that atomic bomb in the ocean. Please Rob, don’t let the hate destroy you! Go to your doctor and get a prescription for medically necessary marijuana to help calm yourself. After that we can hold a candlelight vigil mourning the death of Gaia – Mother Earth as we rape her oil from her body here in Alberta. If that doesn’t make you feel better, then let me know and we can load the rifles and go hunting for Socialists! Hmmm…maybe we should do that first.
Hmmm … just about hurled on the first part, had to actually poor a drink to choke down the rest, but the last part sounds like a BLAST!!! … probably coming soon… not totally negative all the time, just when I listen to CAN TV, gonna have to quit that, but I here the withdrawl is grulling. I’ll have to focus more on cleaning my guns or something …. huh … registration … whats that?? .. 😉
Just wait till their guests demand the hosting a mini Muslim olympics……..in the parlour!
Favorite event?
The decapithon!