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911 days after 911

Winds Of Change has a roundup of links about yesterday’s Madrid bombings. Among them is noted that Spain’s “311” was 911 days after “911”.
Lileks:

There’s a small padded room in my mind where I imagine the theories of the daft: OMG Bushitler did this, it’s part of a campaign to make us “afraid,” it’ll only get worse. That’s one take, from the foil-chapeau brigade, a decided minority. Then there’s the schadenfreuders: well, Spain supported the war in Iraq. Payback’s a bitch, eh? As if there was some sort of epiphany in the terrorist community: whoa, Spain is assisting the Crusaders now. I know it’s going out on a limb, but I propose adding Spain to the list of Western Christian polyglot democracies to destroy. All in favor, say aye. Of course one can say that the jihadists attacked Spain for its role, but to suggest that Spain earned this atrocity means that the two causes are morally indistinguishable.
To some, they are. To some, the act of “resistance” has such a romantic pull they cannot possibly renounce the use of flamboyant violence – until they find themselves in a train station on an average weekday morning, ears ringing, eyes clouded, looking down at their shirt, wondering why it’s so red all of a sudden.

What Hockey Was

Hockey was part of my growing up. Going to a hockey game when I was a kid meant cheering the Arcola-Kisbey Combines – which escalated into a (mostly) verbal blood feud if the opponant was the despised Carlyle Cougars, from the rival town to the east.
One end of the rink had a large lobby for the little kids and seniors who preferred to stay warm, the glass looking onto the ice surface protected by chain link. A hard shot could stretch the chain link enough to break a window, though that didn’t happen very often. When it did, the player responsible was legend for a month.
Most watched from the stands, in the cold – elbow to elbow, on 4 rows of wooden bleachers, drinking hot chocolate or coffee, shifting weight from leg to leg in a vain attempt to keep toes from freezing, yelling encouragement, insulting the enemy, cheering the goals.
Watching from the bleachers meant staying sharp and never taking your eye off the game – the wooden boards had no plexiglass, and you had to be ever ready to dodge a 60 mph puck. The reckless older boys stood against those boards, leaning over as far as their torsos would allow, to catch the action when it was at the other end of the rink – ducking and scrambling when the play returned to their own, and players body checked and thrown halfway over, sticks flying.
The moisture from our breath froze in the air and rose to the roof to form hoarfrost. The sound of skates carving ice, body checks, cheers and taunts echoed in the cold.
Sometimes there were fights, and nearly always they were fair, square and honorably fought. And sometimes there were injuries, but absent a freak accident, they were minor – the players had jobs, families or school to go back to in the morning. They were not paid. They kept the sticks down.
Between the periods, you waited as players first made their way off the ice and into their dressing rooms, and then you followed the rest of the crowd, shuffling politely into the warmth. You lined up for a home cooked burger and fries drenched in vinegar, salt and ketchup.
No one was paid for anything. Volunteers served as time keepers and referees, took in the gate, made the pies, served in the kitchen, cleaned the bathrooms, chaperoned the kids. Volunteers scraped the tortured ice with hand shovels and reflooded the surface in preparation for the next period. Many decades earlier, volunteers had built the rink. (They still do. When the rink burned down 2 years ago, volunteers raised the money and rebuilt it.)
That was hockey.
I haven’t been to a game for years. Not since they put the plexiglass up.

DEAR MR. SASKATCHEWAN

Saskatchewan wins a prize…

RE: CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSAL
SIR,
I AM MAKING THIS CONTACT ON BEHALF OF MY ORGANIZATION, THE AMERICAN CAPITAL OF CULTURE TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR PROVINCE HAS BEEN CHOSEN FOR OUR PRESTIGIOUS AWARD – THE AMERICAN CAPITAL OF CULTURE FOR 2005.
MY AIM OF CONTACTING YOU IS TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN TRANSFERRING THE SUM OF FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS ONLY (US$450,000) OUT OF SASKATCHEWAN AND INTO OUR TRUSTED BANK ACCOUNT ABROAD, FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROMOTING YOUR BEAUTIFUL PROVINCE’S CULTURE.
IS REST ASSURED THAT THERE IS NO RISK INVOLVED SINCE I HAVE TAKEN CARE OF EVERYTHING HERE IN SPAIN.
I WANT YOU TO IMMEDIATELY INFORM ME OF YOUR WILLINGNESS IN ASSISTING / CO-OPERATING WITH US ON MY E-MAIL ADDRESS SO THAT I CAN SEND YOU FULL DETAILS OF THIS TRANSACTION AND LET MAKE REARRANGEMENT FOR A MEETING AND DISCUSS AT LENGTH ON HOW TO TRANSFER THE SAID FUND. FINALLY, I AM TRUSTING ON YOUR FULL UNDERSTANDING OF THE ABOVE AND HOPING THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THE NEED FOR ABSOLUTE CONFIDENTIALITY.
AWAITING WITH INTEREST YOUR RESPONSE AND HOPING TO DEVELOP GOOD BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
XAVIER TUDELA
PRESIDENT
AMERICAN CAPITAL OF CULTURE

… for Most Gullible Government in America.

Bertuzzi Redux

Vancouver Canucks general manager Brian Burke is giving a news conference. He isn’t happy with the NHL… and is complaining that the media has kicked “the crap” out of his player.

“Shocked.. shocked at the size of the fine”
“There’s been so little analysis of anyone else’s blame… all you guys have done is crucify my player”.

He claims he accepts responsibility as general manager, and recognizes that Todd went over the line .. then, he goes on to question when Moore’s injury happened – during the cheap shot, or during the pile-on afterwards – and follows up with medical details to imply that the severity of the injury has been exaggerated. Nice move, Brian. That’ll win ya some sympathy.

“We get into a Murphy’s law game, the incident happened, and people say it was premeditated.”

Burke denies that the management had directed Bertuzzi to take out Moore, defends Canucks coach Mark Crawford (who laughed after the hit) and pointed out that there are other players whose job it is …. and that the notion that the Canucks would use a star forward like Bertuzzi for enforcement purposes is ridiculous.
I think the American media is going to have a field day with this.
(The NHL announced this morning, after a 10 minute hearing, that Bertuzzi is out for the remainder of the regular season – 12 games – and the playoffs, and the case will be revisited before he is reinstated. The Canucks recieved a $250,000 fine. Bertuzzi will lose a half million in lost salary.)
Addendum: Hockey guru Liam McGuire reminds us that it wasn’t always this way.
It used to be worse:

Hall-of- Fame defenseman Doug Harvey once speared George Sullivan so severely in a game that Sullivan was administered last rites at the hospital. Rocket Richard broke three sticks over Hal Laycoe, not one, not two, but three and in between he dropped Cliff Thomson, the linesman. Gordie Howe was suspended three times for attempt-to-injure and on numerous other occasions he committed some of the most vile acts imaginable including splitting Brad Parks tongue in half and sucker punching Stan Mikita sending him to the dressing room. The stick fights were out of a movie. People today would not be able to comprehend the NHL pre 1970. Ted Green and Wayne Maki in 1969 during an exhibition game in Ottawa hit themselves in the head with their sticks as hard as they possibly could. Green needed a six hour operation to save his life and has had a permanent plate in his head since that time. Eddie Shack during a game in Toronto in 1967-68, told Larry Zeidel that if he came after him again he was going to hammer him with his stick. Zeidel came after him and Shack swung his stick down on Zeidel’s head as hard as he could. Same thing with Bernie Geoffrion and Ron Murphy, a stick fight the likes of which the fans of the game today would curl up into a little whining ball, rolled up fists to teary eyes crying for their momma’s ..

Point taken. We do have short memories.

Canadian Gun Control Goes International

As if pissing away 2 billion on a failed gun registry in Canada wasn’t enough.
CANADA HELPS AFRICANS PREVENT AND RESOLVE VIOLENT CONFLICT

March 9, 2004 – A $4.5 million contribution by Canada over three years to the ECOWAS Peace Fund will support conflict prevention, crisis management and peacebuilding activities, and will contribute to a scholarship fund that will enable West African civilians and military personnel to benefit from training for peace support operations at the Kofi Annan International Peacekeeping Training Centre, in Ghana.

Well how about that… Annan was in Ottawa the day this was announced … what are the odds?

The project will also help ECOWAS establish a unit that will work to stop the flow of small weapons into and across borders in these countries.

Eh, so what does that last line mean, in practice? Well, basically, it means they’re going to purchase guns from the criminals. Apparently, firearms are a finite resource, and if they just buy them all up, people won’t be able to shoot one another. Our tax dollars at work.
Did anyone point out to ECOWAS Canada’s success in controlling the flow of illegal firearms to the African-Canadian community?

Human Remains In Meat Supply?

human remains may have been in meat supply

PORT COQUITLAM, B.C. – There may have been human remains in meat processed for human consumption from a B.C. pig farm at the centre of Vancouver’s missing women case.

Investigators have found D.N.A. at the farm site that has been matched
to several women missing from Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside.
Farmer Robert Pickton faces 15 counts of first degree murder.
The Crown Prosecutor said earlier that Pickton will be charged with at
least seven more counts.

We need the death penalty back in Canada. And we need it yesterday.
CBC backgrounder on BC’s missing women case

Devious Minds

I’ve thought about the sweet prospect of the current civil war creating a formal split in the Liberal Party….Sean, at Pol:Spy goes one better. He has a plan

Conservatives need to find a way to start a new party that will attract disaffected Liberals. It would be after the Warren Kinsellas and Sheila Copps of Canada. It would be incredibly left-leaning, promising a new and improved Nanny State, and free government handouts for everyone. Of course, the party wouldn’t win – it’s not supposed to. However, it would siphon Liberal votes from the other Liberal Party (along with a strengthened NDP) and put the Conservatives right up the middle.
Just as you fight fire with fire, you can fight Liberals with Liberals. The entire Reform/ Alliance/PC fustercluck proved this and then some.

Heh.

Blogging The Oscars

I’ve never blogged a live event before – we’ll see how it goes. I’ll just update this single entry and see what happens. If it begins to suck too much, deleting one entry is easier.
First impressions… red carpet interviews … the countdown clock and photo feature-the-actor inserts remind me of pre-race Kentucky Derby coverage with tighter dresses and dumber athletes.
4:00 to go. . these people get scripts for a reason.
3:20 … it’s a thoroughbred theme night, no question…. Seabiscuit, Depp’s “horse of a different color” comment and that Copolla chick’s teeth.
The orchestra begins… what? no big opening number? Sean Connery had dental work earlier today, by the sounds of things. The Billy Crystal naked thing worked. Not much else. ARGHHHHH!!!! Michael Moore.
Some of these people actually paid a professional to give them my bed hair.
Crystal’s sing-the-movies schtick is getting old.
Supporting actor: Zeta Jones looks great. Tim Robbins wins. More bad hair. Oprah moment about child abuse.
(I bet the Americans are getting cooler ads, just like the Superbowl)
(in the interest of full disclosure: the only movie I’ve seen of all those nominated is LOTR. I’m hoping it wins for the solitary reason that the blonde elf guy is about the sweetest male thing alive on the planet today.)
One down: LOTR Art Direction. I agree with this choice, as a former Art Director.
Heh. Robin Williams still has it. Finding Nemo beats two things I never heard of. (I forgot – I saw Finding Nemo) for Best Fish Story.
Two. LOTR: Costumes. Speaking of which, Renee Zellweger is wearing a big Kleenex.
Supporting actress: Kleenex lady. Now I know why – to have somewhere to blow her nose, poor tearful thing. Did I just hear her thank the Canadian Automobile Association?
Bob Hope Is Finally Dead Retrospective… camera pans to Mickey Rooney. I’m sure he appreciated that.
Some guy is reading off the phone book. I don’t know what he won. Bathroom break time.
eeeeeeyyikes.. what the hell was Liv Tyler thinking? The Addams Family Librarian?
Where was I? (dozed off during the best songs)
Three: LOTR for something else.
Too bad everyone was half asleep for the Blake Edwards wheelchair gag. My God, this is slow.
Four: LOTR for Makeup. Five: LOTR for Sound Mixing. Sandra Bullock for Best Lampshade Dress.
Documentary for Fog Of War. Here comes the speech… millions died in a rabbit hole in Vietnam. Thanks to McNamara. Apparently, this movie kept McNamara out of Iraq, and that’s done some “damn good”.
Everyone, check your Dead Pool entries.
Where were we? Six: LOTR – some music thing? and Seven: LOTR, film ediiting. This can end any time now. *yawn* Eight; LOTR, Best Original Song. (There were songs in LORT?)
Barbarian Invasions gets Foreign Film. Americans look bewildered. Canada is a foreign country? Master and Commander gets a second award, for cinematography. I’m losing track of stupid dress awards. Has an American film won anything yet?
How long have we been here? I’m thinking of chewing my paw off…..
Nine, LOTR, for screenplay. Get that poor bag lady off stage. Susan Sarandan is threatening a Janet moment, if only gravity will assist a little. Sophia Coppola wins for original screenplay.
Ten, Peter Jackson….. LOTR.
Actress. Charlize Theron. (We are reminded that this is an occupation in which 13 year olds can be considered for the industry’s highest achievment awards. Which means that it’s almost as hard as passing a driver’s test.) Two wins in a row for an African-American woman.
OscarTrivia Question: Which of this year’s nominated movies had no actors?
Sean Penn gets best actor. And a standing ovation? Johnny Depp is sniffling behind his bangs.
Lord Of The Rings makes it a “clean sweep”. Now, somebody get Jackson a comb.

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