33 Replies to “Y2Kyoto: Fart Joke”

    1. Just a few days ago they claimed if you have a garden. You are causing G/W
      Morons, all of them.

    2. Stop reading at the word “model”.

      Ok, I actually stop at “climate scientist” now (no such thing).

      1. When my brain sees “climate scientist” it automatically reads as “clown scientist”.

  2. It’s another example of too many supposed scientists in the world pursuing stupid things because they are not capable of doing anything actually useful.

        1. Zee’s piano tool tuner Farts again. I won’t trigger you and mention that the Zee, is coke head gay Nazis JOO.
          Oh, and could you do a poor man a favor, and lend me your “certificate”9BA, M, or PHD???), as I’m short of asswipe, and figure that would give it some actual value!

  3. Some people call it Valentine’s Day, others call it “February Fool’s Day”.

    Oyster flatulence…maybe they need to look less at shellfish and more at computer modelling energy use.

    1. now Minister Ratface says they arent funding anymore hiways.. this should make for a fun Question Period.

  4. What about invasive species like Zebra Mussels?

    What they have done in the Great Lakes and the Mississippi River Basin is probably 100 times more than a few cultivated shellfish in the Baltic.

  5. Remember the good ol’ days when you could spot a parody account from a mile away?
    Those days are gone.

  6. I’ll give those climate scientists something to really worry about… I might eat an oyster in 2024 just so I can contribute infinitely more to oyster-flatulence-induced global warming this year than I did last year by not eating an oyster.
    Climate scientists are the government-funded ambulance-chasers of academia.

    1. Nothing like some smoked oysters, but I quit buying them years ago when all were “Product of China”.

        1. Yup, the thought of eating the stomach contents of something farmed in the pristine waters of China…I just couldn’t do it.

      2. Years back a family member had sent us smoked oysters as part of a Christmas package. Despite my wife’s entreaties that ” They can’t be THAT bad”, I refused to eat them because they were from China. A bit angry at my stubbornness, she mixed them in with Ol’ Jerome’s (our Greater Glengarry Moosehound) supper.

        He walked over to his grub, gave one sniff, and then walked away…giving her this “you trying to poison me?” Look.

        She’s been pretty good at checking out the country of origin ever since. 🙂

  7. Kate, can you do us a favour and let us know when it’s a parody article or if it’s serious please?
    I’d never heard of Euractiv so I kept trying to find out if they’re like the Onion or Bablyon Bee, but they appeared to actually be serious.

  8. Termite Farts.

    But not to worry, they get filtered by the mounds.

    HOW A TERMITE’S MOUND FILTERS METHANE (AND WHAT IT MEANS FOR GREENHOUSE GASES)

    Globally, it is estimated that termites are responsible for about one to three per cent of all methane emissions. It may sound small, but that’s up to 20 million tonnes of methane each year coming out the rear ends of these humble insects.
    However, unlike us humans, termites have a built-in filter system in their dwellings to remove this greenhouse gas before it’s emitted into the wider atmosphere.

  9. If you want to stop a watermelon from spewing nonsense for even a few seconds, just ask them if bison fart.

    Then ask them if they fat more than cattle.

    Then ask them if there were millions of bison hundreds of years ago, if those farts were as dangerous as cattle farts are now.

    I mean, the pained looked some of them get is fun.

  10. Went into town to get the mail and ran into a local. This is a cow town but buddy never has had anything to do with cattle. He told me the tale of how the livestock industry contributes to GW. Bovine flatulence he said. I told him his theory was bullshit and that if he ever brought it up in front of one of the old rancher gals around here prepare to be throat punched.

  11. Pull an oyster’s thumb all day, but the last time I checked, the sun was responsible for the weather.

  12. Clinate scientists say “Eat all the oysters”.

    Lip-smacking good advice, I’d say.

  14. The most ignorant aspect of that article was no knowledge of the fact that shellfish are the most significant carbon sinks on the planet. They are where the dissolved CO2 in the oceans go. Over the last half billion years they have produced carbonates in the oceans which now constitute 8% of the earth’s crust (eg, the Rocky Mountains). Those little devils sucked up so much CO2 by the end of the last glaciation that we were approaching lower limits for most plant life. They are one reason why we should ignore all calls for decarbonization by giving them another couple of millions of years worth of work.

  15. funny story.
    this land lubber pd a visit to family on the w coast, bingo during raw oyster season.
    there are such things as mussels also.

    fast fwd shucks. 14 years at least.
    lm @ the local farmers mkt and spot fresh mussels.
    buy a bunch and eat one raw.
    ?
    l dont remember it this way wtf?
    wait.
    ah.
    oh.
    its the *oysters* l eat raw . . . .

    so the remaining mussels are appropriately steamed *then* consumed matching the taste recollection on that food item.
    not making that mishtake hagain.

  16. Anyone who talks about the issue of nitrogen oxides as greenhouse gasses in an atmosphere of elemental oxygen and nitrogen is obviously too stupid for it to be worthwhile arguing with them.

    The fact that they are worrying about shellfish flatulence demonstrates that they have no sense of humour, or proportion, and are deeply ignorant of most of the natural world.

  17. I have sensitive acoustic devices which I regularly use for monitoring underwater marine biological soundwaves, So far, I have not detected any signals that suggest “pull my finger”, or “Gerry you shouldn’t do that”. I wil keep you posted. The oysters and mussels will probably blame it on the dog.

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