27 Replies to “Two Tonne Tina”

  1. Yup. Every ad – from feminine hygiene products, to exercise equipment, to deodorants and fashions – has to feature tubbys. Not just overweight, but obese.

    1. There’s nothing wrong with a woman with a little extra, as long as it doesn’t intrude into another area code.

    2. Who the eff are they appealing to? Seriously, in terms of mass marketing strategy? Incontinence product advertisements have been particularly egregious as of late. I don’t even want to think about it.

        1. Incontinence products are advertised on TV lots because the largest demographic of TV viewers are institutionalized shut-ins, a sizable number of whom – perhaps a majority – are so superannuated that they have lost control of bodily functions (it happens). If you’re still watching TV you may be one of them.

  2. Destroyed the brand when they started making sweatpants for fat chicks.

    Seen too many 400 pound women sporting ‘love pink’ while punishing the mobility scooter at Walmart. Victoria secret = Boner killer now

  3. Once upon a time, I was enjoying a smoke outside my workplace, beside a walled stairwell. I exhaled a big drag, and some fat broad came down the stairs and walked right into the cloud. She looked at me and said “Watch where you exhale mister!”
    I opened my mouth to say something reasonable like “I was behind this wall, so I couldn’t see you”, but, luckily, my instincts kicked in in time and I said “If I were you, toots, I’d worry more about a heart attack than second-hand smoke.”
    I was rewarded with the sight of her turning red and her mouth opening and closing like a fish outta water before I ditched my butt and strolled back inside.

    1. Hilarious!!

      Similar, back when. But for some reason, I said nothing and let go of a huge smelly fart instead. I actually did mention that it would improve the cigarette smell.

  4. Watching the Grey Cup opening shenanigans, they’ve got a woman singing now who looks like a sphere.

    1. She plays Kingpin in the new transgender Punisher movie coming up. Welcome to the Flaboverse.

    2. Hey! She WON 4 JUNO AWARDS!!! I mean JUNO AWARDS!!! IMPRESSIVE! (now where is that darn /sarc switch?)

      Honestly… I’m surprised the stage was still in one piece after that performance.

    1. There’s a line on a show…

      Amy – “Wow, Hartley you have a great voice! That’s half of what you need to be a great singer!”

      Hartley – “What’s the other half?”

      Amy – “Looks! But you’re not supposed to say that….”

  5. Do you think this most recent generation has figured out that some of us out here won’t hire the morbidly obese into the workplace (except Michigan which made is a protected group for some reason). Another disqualifying feature I’ve noticed of late is this “cover your body with tattoos” trend.

    To me, the former shows a severe lack of self-discipline (which doesn’t translate well into a place of employment)…and the latter just shows a complete lack of forethought and critical thinking, in general. Some of these idiots are putting tattoos on their face (inclusive of the ole’ prison killer tear drop).

    It boggles the mind…and I’d venture to guess that it disqualifies about 50% of the Generation Z potential employees at a significant number of workplaces. And, in case you’re wondering…tattoo ink pad kids are not a protected group. So, you’re perfectly within your rights to 86 their resume based on that alone.

  6. Yet another way to ruin businesses! Even fat girls want to see average models, not twiggies with no boobs, and then buy 3-4x or whatever they need.

    It is fairly simple to lose weight. Protein plus veggies and low glycemic fruits for a year, losing abt. 2 pounds per week until normal weight is achieved. Add back 3 reasonable carbo servings per day and maintain for life.

    P.S. note to “so-called” busy parents: hot dogs, chips, hasty-mart chicken fingers, pasta, sweets and fast food is NOT kid food! If they don’t like proper food, removing it from the table works well.

  7. Many years ago (30+), once a week I worked with a civilian DND employee at the Daily Gleaner in Fredericton. One day, she asked me for a ride back to the base because her car was in the shop. Since my car was parked farther out, I told her to wait by the building entrance and I’d pick her up. This lady was a big girl. I was driving a 1980 Dodge Mirada, which, although a two-door model was still a pretty big car and made with steel everything. The doors were easily 75 lbs (or more) each. When she got in the car, I swear my side of the vehicle went up a few inches (at the time, I was between 150-155 lbs) and I drove for the next 45 minutes listing to the passenger side. When she got out of the vehicle, I could feel the car righting itself AND it wobbled! Fortunately, that was the only time I gave her a ride as I was posted out of Gagetown about a month later.

    1. Very funny.
      Big girls thumbing rides = drive-by with eyes straight ahead.

      Oh my, I really am unacceptable and deplorable … Trudeau was right, even before his wife ditched him.

  8. Fat bottom Girls they make the rockin world go round. No, Nevermind … Talk about mud flaps, my girl’s got em


    The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’
    That’s what I said
    The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
    Or so I have read

    My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
    I’d like to sink her with my pink torpedo

    Big bottom, big bottom
    Talk about bum cakes, my girl’s got ’em
    Big bottom drive me out of my mind
    How could I leave this behind?

    I met her on Monday, ’twas my lucky bun day
    You know what I mean
    I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day
    You know what I mean

    My love gun’s loaded and she’s in my sights
    Big game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah

    Big bottom, big bottom
    Talk about mud flaps, my girl’s got ’em
    Big bottom drive me out of my mind
    How could I leave this behind?

    My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
    I’d like to sink her with my pink torpedo

    Big bottom, big bottom
    Talk about bum cakes, my girl’s got ’em
    Big bottom drive me out of my mind
    How could I leave this behind

    Note to GenZ: that was a JOKE. It wasn’t meant as a business plan. Idiots.

  9. Watch for Justin Trudeau to ink a seven-figure deal to endorse “man-pons” (tampons for men), mere months after he (eventually) leaves office (but before his inevitable gender reassignment surgery)!