First we had Tom Ricks at his “Best Defense” blog:
Denmark and Canada avoid war!
…
But Publius is not assured by this outbreak of northern détente:
…It would not be unusual if they [the Danes] were to resume their traditional pattern of conquest and plunder. The coasts of Labrador and Norfolk are especially vulnerable…
Denmark has a remarkable large military force of 27,000 for a population of only 5.5 million. Yet Canada with a population of 34 million has a military of 68,250. In per capita terms the Danes are armed to the teeth…
The Danes will occasionally posture as a well established liberal democracy. Yet it is one of the few countries in the world with an official religion! It’s entrenched in their constitution! Just like Saudi Arabia! As for their so called established democracy, the current constitutional monarchy dates back only to 1849. A whole year after responsible government was established in Canada!..
I would note that England and Iceland also have state religions.
Mark
Ottawa
“Exactly how would the two countries confront each other as they escalated?”
The Danes would flood us with massive Islamic immigration, mostly the gang rapists that infect their country, and it would be game over for us in short order.
Makes sense now. We tell the Turks and Caicos to screw off when they wanted to join Canada because we had an uninhabitable rock situation to deal with.
Danegeld, by Rudyard Kipling – A.D. 980-1016 (first published 1911)
IT IS always a temptation to an armed and agile nation,
To call upon a neighbour and to say:
“We invaded you last night – we are quite prepared to fight,
Unless you pay us cash to go away.”
And that is called asking for Dane-geld,
And the people who ask it explain
That you’ve only to pay ’em the Dane-geld
And then you’ll get rid of the Dane!
It is always a temptation to a rich and lazy nation,
To puff and look important and to say:
“Though we know we should defeat you, we have not the time to meet you.
We will therefore pay you cash to go away.”
And that is called paying the Dane-geld;
But we’ve proved it again and again,
That if once you have paid him the Dane-geld
You never get rid of the Dane.
It is wrong to put temptation in the path of any nation,
For fear they should succumb and go astray,
So when you are requested to pay up or be molested,
You will find it better policy to say:
“We never pay any one Dane-geld,
No matter how trifling the cost,
For the end of that game is oppression and shame,
And the nation that plays it is lost!”
And BTW never ever mess with my command centre…the consequences are decidedly unpleasant!
Caveat emptor:
No man is island, unless of course it is an invasion from HANS ISLAND!
Daquiris are always served suitably chilled, but we never give a cold shoulder.
Cheers
Hans Rupprecht, Commander in Chief
1st Saint Nicolaas Army
Army Group “True North”
The Chinci World Atlas says this…
“Hans Island is a island in the region of Nunavut, the country of Canada with an average elevation of -1,073 feet below sea level.”
What the hell…
I, for one, welcome our new Danish overlords. I will offer my services to spy on the pockets of resistance that may resist the creation of the new Vichy Canada, a new colony within the Kingdom of Denmark.
“In per capita terms the Danes are armed to the teeth…”
Per capita might work for rates, like murder and such. But it does not translate to more military power.
27,000 is still less than half of 68,000.
So… we’d kick their ass.
The bigger issue is that the spendthrift idiots currently running the Euroland economy into the ground now believe because they have a physical border with Canada that we somehow will need to send them money for their bailout fund.
Beware the Danish/Viking bureaucrat demanding our wealth.
I don’t give a hoot,but for the right wage I would consider an ambassadorship.
Could we not take over something like the Turks-Caicos where the climate is a bit more un-Canadian?
” the current constitutional monarchy dates back only to 1849, A whole year after responsible government was established in Canada!..”
Wait a minute,what was all that hoopla back in 1967 for then?
Well, maybe it’s just me, but I’d say the island belongs to this Hans guy, whoever he is. An Esquimo, most likely.
@ theredsuit at April 20, 2012 4:35 PM
27,000 is still less than half of 68,000.
So… we’d kick their ass.
You may have a point there, but we could not put a single division into the field and their 27M might have more soldiers that actually fight. We do have more generals than tanks and maybe we could press them into service. Think of the splendor , the sun gleaming off their Ottawa earned medals as they look into the teeth of the conflict with their chinese binoculars from a few miles back. Of course it’s a fight or die situation since we have no capability to extradide them from any conflict and just when it seems all is lost a snowcloud on the horizon idicating many snowmobiles thundering to the rescue………. eskimo…….blubber………preperation H………..pastries………….The End.
The Danes have been doing a lot more than their combat bit in Afghanistan, see first comment here:
http://www.cdfai.org/the3dsblog//?p=416#comments
Mark
Ottawa
I’m just glad this was done with the usual European territorial panache and simplicity when dealing with the new world:
No one( of consequence) lives there. Check.
It’s far away. Check.
As far as anyone can tell it’s not actually a solid lump of gold? Check.
Fine. Draw a line down the middle. Have someone unpopular meet with his Canadian opposite number out in that frozen windswept wasteland from hell and decide what middle means out there.
Can we go to lunch, yet? I need a drink.
I read on another link that when the Danish military visit, they leave behind a bottle of aquavit. When the Canadian military visits, they drink the aquavit, and leave a bottle of Canadian Club.
Now, that’s a war I can get behind!
Rev up the nukes… this is an invasion..
Considering we are the second largest country in the world, why not just leave the Hans Island as a tip and move on. Other than having something to do with the 12 mile limit and future drilling prospects I can’t see the value in this squabble.
I say Canada should keep Hans Island whole, and instead give to the Danes, the NDP half of Quebec.
I try to warn you people….
We need a permanent presence on the disputed territory. I suggest putting the Canada Revenue Agency’s HQ there.
What about the Monroe Doctrine? Europeans are not allowed to extend their American empires. The US should back us. When the British shelled Copanhagen 200 years ago why didn’t they take Greenland? Oh! Right! Because it’s Greenland.
Larry, great idea.
I’d trade all of Quebec for their half of Hans Island.
Either that or we move all Quebecers onto Hans island and then hand over all of Hans island to Denmark.
Marco : I’ll go one better – put the inmates of Kingston max there.
I’m for all-out war on Denmark! It’d be good for our national esteem.
We could conscript the “occupy” crowd and send ’em up agin’ the enemy trenches in droves,just like we did a few Wars back. Assuming,of course,that trenches CAN be dug on Hans Island.
I’m all for adopting Turks-Caicos into Canada,it’d be lovely to have a Canadian vacation spot that isn’t frozen over half the bloody year!
Gord Tulk @ 10:59 said: “…put the inmates of Kingston max there”
Great Idea!! Then, we make sure they escape from prison, seek asylum in Denmark, and when the Danes try to send them back, we refuse! Just like we could stick the Americans with Omar Khadr!
I propose a BBQ solution. The “Hans Burger”.
A 1/4 pound patty of Grade A Canadian beef slowly cooked over medium heat. Add crumbled Danish blue cheese during the last minute or two. Lightly toast the bun, then apply mustard on the top side and mayo on the bottom. Add veggies, pickles, whatever and shake hans over some Alberta beer!
Cold war?
68,250 vs 27,000
So hard to say.
Danes punch above their weight.
“When the British shelled Copanhagen 200 years ago why didn’t they take Greenland? Oh! Right! Because it’s Greenland.”
Mostly because by any reasonable standard the British got their butts handed to them, had the prevailing Danish attitude had been anything else than something of the order of: Fine! whatever it takes for you go F-off and go home” and thus signing some paper that saved face, the British at Copenhagen would have been in serious serious trouble.
Their fleet was no longer sea worthy after messing with the ad-hoc harbour defenses
(Neither was the danish fleet but they were actually IN their home port) ( the danes SOLD them enough materials to repair and go home) the casualty rate aboard the british line was was appalling, even by the standards of 18th century naval warfare. And having recovered from the surprise, the Norwegian contingents of the Danish empire where making their way back south, and so were the regiments from back country. Never mind that, I’m pretty sure the Swedes AND Napoleon weren’t going to take this lying down.
Not the RN’s finest hour.
The people of Denmark are the happiest people in the world according to the latest survey ….. I think we should import more of their ways …. or surround Canada with a bunch of tiny little Danish Islands ….. and as far as ownership of Hans Island …. everybody knows “Hans” is a Danish name ….. and besides , the mermaids need a northern place to call their own.
Oh …. and one other thing ….. place all those 27,000 Danish soldiers on all the little islands surrounding Canada …. talk about homeland security for us … (smile)
Iron Maiden – Run to the Hills and Invaders pops into my head.
Viking kittens!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApxnAr6pRt0