Many of the Urban Camping Aficionados have stated over & over again that there’s no work for them. Well, one division of the U.S. Government has just posted a new job ad that might very well be perfect for them.
There are a few restrictions though:
- Height between 5’2″ and 6’3″
- 20/20 vision or correctable to the same
- Blood pressure not to exceed 140/90 measured in a sitting position
- Regular drug-testing will be required
While the last item may knock out of contention many of the Occupy crowd, surely there must be some who would pass. Interested Occupy participants and/or SDA trolls can check out a few other requirements here.
Space Cadet
Sorry. Scince has made some wonderful breakthroughs, but we still can’t turn arseholes into astronauts – never mind how much space the applicants have taken up.
Astronaut in training?
I thought NASA was out of the outer space science business and firmly in the grip of climate change presto chango voodoo data management and promoting other cultures in the US..
Jamie nails it. Thanks for the morning laugh.
Heh. Notice that a general degree in Psychology or the Social Sciences is a DISqualification. That probably knocks at least half the OWS’ers out of the running.
Astronaut? The USA has no way to get astronauts into space unless they call up the Russians and book a seat.
I worked for NASA contractors at JSC for nearly 30 years. After the Shuttle program ended I got laid off. A month later I was working in the oilpatch.
The difference is breathtaking. You could not get me to go back to JSC on a bet. Especially as one of those trained poodles they call astronauts.
I am all in favour of blasting these people into space. In a rocket aimed at the sun…
Thought this might be for Ottawa bus drivers.
Google “OC Transpo drivers” if you don’t know what I’m talking about.
Surely there must be some who could pass.
These products of conception couldn’t pass a kidney stone.
From the ad:
Travel to and from the ISS will be aboard the Russian Soyuz vehicle.
So much for winning the Cold War.
From the ad: “Frequent travel may be required.”
No shit, Sherlock.
Not a single one would pass a drug test. I stand by this assertion and would gladly put money on it.
Yeah…haha…”GET A JOB, ASSHOLES!!” Too bad none of the grumpy old men and women at sda could meet the qualifications.
I’m surprised at the low pay. There’s paper shufflers that make more cash than that. It’d be a pay cut for a Royal Canadian Air Force pilot as well.
I agree with nm — I doubt any of the protesters could pass a drug test.
I doubt any of the protesters could pass an IQ test or a field sobriety test.
Most, but not all, of them can still fog a mirror.
WEALTH RE-DISTRIBUTION: DEMANDING SOMETHING FOR NOTHING
These professional Democratic Party wing-nut anarchists, their naïve, drug-crazed “useful idiots”, and the extreme left-bias media, consider that wealth creators should re-distribute their wealth, created by their intellect and brawn, to anarchists wealth-takers who repudiate attempting to create their own wealth while demonizing capitalism. They hate the rich, at least until a government redistributes enough wealth to them.
These Democratic Party mob leaders always express the fanatically radical, anti-capitalist, anti-free market theme of juvenile political science socialists who argue that they are entitled to other’s wealth: “each according to his ability, to each according to his need”. These thugs form a grand coalition of societal interests that aspire to benefit in perpetuity from a standard of living they are not prepared to earn.
These “activists” must get off welfare and occupy a work-place.
Most of these occubots have been doing inter-planetary travel for quite a long time. In fact, for many of them, it is being done simultaneously with their occupation of public space. Many of them left on their interplanetary journey years ago and have yet to return.
The famous “Jack Layton Quebec Expedition” left in May of 2011 and is still believed to be lost in deep space.
Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce –
The chief astronaut of the United States Interplanetary Expeditionary Force.
•Frequent travel may be required
Gosh, ya think ? Maybe not so frequent, but REALLY long trips for sure.
I imagine ACORN will be hiring soon.
When I finished my university degree and the employment situation looked rather spotty, I decided to apply for the Canadian Forces as a direct entry officer.
I never looked back.
There are always opportunities if:
1. You are flexible and pragmatic about your aspirations; and
2. You’re prepared to relocate.
Iberia, jokes on you. The old grumpies already have jobs.
So whats your excuse?
Iberia, jokes on you. The old grumpies already have jobs.
So whats your excuse?
Iberia @ 11:12 – I could meet all the qualifications except U.S. citizenship. How about you?
The problem is — at least in Canada — that polls show that most of our own OWSers are already employed. I wonder how many of them are on the Union payroll or NDP political operatives, since the latter like to pretend (as Barack Obama does) that they are not actually highly-paid Public Servants — that they are simply poor people protesting in the streets?
There is a big disjuncture between the legitimacy of the OWS protest in the U.S. vis a vis Canada: Canada didn’t have a bank failure, a mortgage crisis, or a bunch of corporate thieves stealing billions of dollars who never got convicted. So what are we protesting in Canada for?
The Wall Street thieves aren’t in Canada, they’re in the U.S where Wall Street is. And the fact that they never got convicted in the U.S. is because the Obama administration never pursued their conviction — I suspect that Obama never pursued them because many of these same corporate thieves financed Obama’s election campaign and he’s hoping that they will finance his re-election too.
I suspect that the OWS protest is nothing more than smoke and mirrors coordinated by Obama’s re-election campaign, by diverting attention from the actual corporate criminals and blaming legitimate capitalist free-market activity in general. Obama has a nameless faceless abstract criminal to conveniently blame instead — “Wall Street” — instead of convicting any specific perpetrators, hence playing into his ideological aspirations for a generalized anti-capitalist (Marxist) American revolution.
Call me crazy, but I think it’s a plausible motive behind OWS. Teapartiers (who have been rather quiet lately) should wrestle the issue back from the Left, and demand that the Obama administration prosecute the actual perpetrators behind the economic collapse or immediatelly call for a Congressional investigation. Don’t allow the Left to hijack this issue for generalized revolution against legitimate free-market activity, the latter of which creates real lasting employment.
ricardo asks “So what are we protesting in Canada for?” I suspect that was is going on here in Canada is the the radical left, whether NDP or union operatives, are simply doing what they do when not in charge and that is take advantage of every situation to disrupt and attempt to break down society. The poor souls with them are useful idiot window dressing.
I think a better option is to allow them to work off their jail time for trespassing and vandalizing public property by cleaning up the parks they used for toilets.
I’m pretty sure most of the OWS crowed would be at the back of the bus on this application. If I remember the majority of polls showed they are white, although some of them may be visibly gay enough to contend against other Affirmative Action candidates.
As with Obamba’s 2009 “Jobs “Bill – “White people need not apply”. No doubt a major consideration when scrapping the shuttle program but continuing to hire “Astronauts”.
The ad should also mention that being a Muslim would be an asset.
Damn. All I need is laser eye surgery and US citizenship and I am in! I grew up as a kid wanting to be an astronaut and never imagine the day I would see a job application that I would actually qualify for.
What the occupiers are thinking:
“Yeah I need a job. Sure, I know can’t build a factory but I can break a window… or $hit on a policecar”.
Don’t think any of the occupy protesters have a degree in engineering, physical sciences or mathematics those people are working I bet. No social science degrees need apply,go figure.