With over 200 entries, we have a lot to choose from. Let’s begin with the Honourable Mentions:
“If you like your Crimea, you can keep your Crimea. Period.” – foobert
“As soon as I find my pen you’ll be sorry.” – WTF
“The Emperor Has No Xbox…” – Glenn
Next, our First Runner-Up;
“Thank You for calling the Surrender to Putin hotline. All of our Putins’ are currently busy. Your call is important to us. Please hold for the next available Putin.” – Robert in Calgary
And the winner is!
Congratulations to Anne (not from Cornwall). Send me an email and I’ll fix you up with a good book. You too, Robert.
Original March 8th post continues below
Contest closes Sunday at midnight. The winner will get their choice of a book from the SDA Free Book Library.
Dam Joe! I told you not to tell Vad we are in the Bunker..
What! Vad wants my High Chair & Playpen removed from the WH
Listen you moron, why would I be concerned about the interest I’m paying on my credit card, I’m the freaking president…
Too much pork in the budget ? Tell them I’m offended. As a Muslim I didn’t authorise any pork. A few earmarks maybe, but no pork.
Press 1 for Russian…
I’ve trapped two flies in my fists. If you don’t leave Crimea, they’re dead.
Stop. Stop. Just just just stop crying. I know it still hurts. They don’t call him The Impaler for nothing John. Now listen. You’ve done good so far but if you’re able to corner Putin and Merkel, initiate Operation Double HJ. Whoa whoa. whoa, slow down Lurch. This is an executive order. Just close your eyes and imagine yourself skiing. Gotta go. Tee time. Period.
Putin told me to shove it, WHERE?
What do you mean, my account’s overdrawn?
Er, hello, hello Vladimir, er listen, I can’t hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down a little?
Valerie, I put on the handcuffs as you asked…….
“What do you mean you’re out of red paint? Well, how about shocking pink?”
“What do you mean my plan does not cover Preparation H?”
Hi Rob, Barry here.
Wanna open for me at Jimmy’s next month ?
Rage Boy’s newest protégé takes instruction…
Yes, Sergei…It’s just that I’ve been waiting to speak to Mr. Putin for an hour and a half…oh I see…yes, I’ll wait until then.
Pleeeease can I put on the furry pink cuffs and you spank me HARD
What do you mean, there is no roll up the rim on our coffees?
Hi Honey!!!! You remember that Reset button Hillary gave me……..ya it broke again.
No…. I hardly touched it! I know, I know…….you said “Don’t play with the Crazy glue”!
No, no…..both hands this time!
uh uh Stephen about that uh uh wager on the men’s and women’s hockey outcomes uh uh it is embarrassing for me to deliver the beer to you at Sussex Drive uh uh could you send someone to the White House to pick up the beer ?
lol,
sda does comedy..
“You can tell that Tea Party Queen Sarah Palin.”
clinching* his* fists.
“Hillary will receive my full support, teleprompter speeches, overseas contributions,
and IRS special detail.”
Three submissions or put them together as one 😉
As soon as I find my pen you’ll be sorry.
Somebody get me a F’n pen.
Some racist stole my F’n pen.
Hello I.R.S. Id like to report someone who needs to be audited whose name is Dr. Seuss.
“No thanks, I already gave at the office. Oh wait……….”
Now Vlad, let me be perfectly clear – I’ve got BOTH fists clenched. I’m serious this time!
C’mon, tell Putin I’ve been on hold here for 2 hours.
“Can we hurry this executive order for capitulation to Russia and China along, I’m late for my tee time at Dunlop.”
“Yeah,but Hillary…what difference, at this point, does it make?”
“……you say it’s my computer?the Windows?”
Yes Mr. Soros.
Yes Mr. Soros.
Of course, Mr. Soros.
Okay Mr. Soros.
Mr. Soros?? Are you still there?
“No matter what, I still get to keep the peace prize, right?”
Holding the reins of power.
After this I’ll have a bit more flexibility on the South China Sea.
What is the code again for unlimited money? Up, up, down, down, B, A, B, A, Select, Start? Right?
“… put yer left hand in, put yer right hand in? And that’s what it’s all about? Huh.”
Don’t you worry, I said hey! Baby I got your money.
So, I’m just falling asleep and Reggie puts down the copy of 50 Shades he’s reading, grabs my ears like this and………
C’mon Kerry,the copter is running, coffee is getting cold,I have no time for this shit, at least look like you have a clue.
C’mon Kerry, I have no time for this crap, coffee’s getting cold, copter is running, at least try to look like you have a clue.
Is there any way we can get a 10 O-clock tee off tomorrow?
Ohhh.
Vladimer said to mention his n…
Hey Great!
Listen up Tech.Support The Reset on my controller isn’t working
“Hi, Harvey, have you read my script yet? Because I’ve got a new draft!”
Yeah; those really long blunt wraps, see you in the parking lot before, Bra.
Wait a sec; I’m having trouble reading my portable teleprompter.
“Hi, you have reached Barak Obama, I will be out of the office for March Break, hittin’ some links, meet up with some of my Hollywood supporters and take a well deserved break. I will be back in the Oval Office on March 17th, if this is an emergency press 0 for John, my Secretarry of State and he will be happy to help you.”
“***Press 1 to hear your message again, Press 2 to make another recording, if you want to keep your message, press the pound key***”
Hey Reg, Go Carts, at my place man.
I’ll even hand back Alaska with a red state to be named later!
“I was hoping for a 9AM tee-time…”
Yeah hi, could someone come up and move my desk further away from the fire place and put the back of my chair out?
“Look Leonardo, I told you I can’t make a decision until I hear from Daryl and JZ…”
“Bush said, ‘He’s a man deeply committed to his country and the best interests of his country.’
“Well, he’s not the president of the US!”