Reader Tips

Reader Tips 46 Comments

Grab a pen, a piece of paper, and some earwax remover: you’re about to learn all about the miraculous Turbo Encabulator, what with its hydrocoptic marzelbanes and ambifascient lunar wainshaft and whatnot.
The comments are open for your Reader Tips.

46 Replies to “Reader Tips”

  1. Excellent find, EBD. For those who may be interested in the history of the Turbo-Encabulator, it originated in the Arthur D. Little Industrial Bulletin, which since 1927 has endeavored to interpret scientific information in terms that a lay person could understand. The Turbo-Encabulator in Industry was the contribution of one Mr. J. H. Quick, graduate student member of the Institution of Electrical Engineers in London, England, and was first published in the Institution’s Students’ Quarterly Journal, in December, 1944. Here is the original:

    The Turbo-Encabulator in Industry

    For a number of years now, work has been proceeding to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a machine that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters.

    Such a machine is the “turbo-encabulator”. Basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, it is produced by the medial interaction of magneto-reluctance and capacitive directance.

    The original machine had a base plate of prefabulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in direct line with the pentametric fan. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzelvanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbline was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal Lotus-0-Δ type placed in panendermic semiboiloid slots in the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a nonreversible tremie pipe to the differential gridlespring on the “up” end of the grammeters.

    Forty-one manestically spaced grouting brushes were arranged to feed into the rotor slipstream a mixture of high S-value phenylhydrobenzamine and 5% remanative tetryliodohexamine. Both of these liquids have specific pericosities given by P = 2.5 C n^6.7, where n is the diathetical evolute of retrograde temperature phase disposition and C is Chlomondeley’s annular grillage coefficient. Initially, n was measured with the aid of metaploar refractive pilfrometer (for a description of this ingenious instrument, see Reference 1), but up to the present, nothing has been found to equal the transcendental hopper dadoscope (2).

    Electrical engineers will appreciate the difficulty of nubing together a regurgitative purwell and a supramitive wennelsprock. Indeed, this proved to be a stumbling block to further development until, in 1942, it was found that the use of anhydrous nangling pins enabled a kryptonastic boiling shim to the tankered.

    The early attempts to construct a sufficiently robust spiral decommutator failed largely because of a lack of appreciation of the large quasipiestic stresses in the gremlin studs; the latter were specifically designed to hold the roffit bars to the spamshaft. When, however, it was discovered that spending could be prevented by a simple addition to the living sockets, almost perfect running was secured.

    The operating point is maintained as near as possible to the h.f. rem peak by constantly fromaging the bitumogenous spandrels. This is a distinct advance on the standard nivel-sheave in that no dramcock oil is required after the phase detractors have remissed.

    Undoubtedly, the turbo-encabulator has reached a very high level of technical development. It has been successfully used for operating nofer trunnions. In addition, whenever a barescent skor motion is required, it may be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocating dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal depleneration.

    References:

    1. Rumpelvestein, L.E., Z. Elektro-technistatisch-Donnerblitz vii.
    2. Oriceddubg of the Peruvian Academy of Skatological Sciences, June 1914.

  4. Vitruvius, are you by any chance reading my posts as I write and edit them, i.e. before I publish them?

  5. “The Simon Wiesenthal Cente has announced it is issuing a travel advisory concerning Sweden due to harassment of Jewish citizens in the southern city of Malmo, the third largest city in Sweden. The decision was conveyed to Swedish Justice Minister Beatrice Ask, by Rabbi Abraham Cooper, the associate Dean of the Center and Dr. Shimon Samuels, Director of International Relations, during a wide-ranging meeting in Stockholm, earlier today.
    “’We reluctantly are issuing this advisory because religious Jews and other members of the Jewish community there have been subject to anti-Semitic taunts and harassment. There have been dozens of incidents reported to the authorities but have not resulted in arrests or convictions for hate crimes’, he added. ‘A contributing factor to this decision has been the outrageous remarks of Malmo mayor Ilmar Reepalu, who blames the Jewish community for failing to denounce Israel.'”

  9. So it would appear, then, SDH, that whomever made that video that is tonight’s Reader Tips lead did not properly credit their sources, as for example I did when I sent the following to the mailing list for our software product on 2003-03-01:

    For more than 60 years the Arthur D. Little Industrial Bulletin has endeavored to interpret scientific information in terms that the lay person can understand. The Turbo-Encabulator in Industry is the contribution of J. H. Quick, graduate student member of the Institution of Electrical Engineers in London, England, and was first published in the Institution’s Students’ Quarterly Journal in December 1944. A version of the original can be found at:

    http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/8_2.html

    The following is a version I have slightly modified to fit the fluid systems context. Please don’t print, store, or forward this message without the proper credits to Quick and the Bulletin.

    The Turbo-Encabulator Pump in Industry

    For a number of years now, work has been proceeding to bring perfection to the idea of a pump that would not only supply inverse reactive pressure for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal desensitizing valves.

    Such a pump is the “turbo-encabulator.” Basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative pressure differential, it is produced by the medial interaction of hydro-reluctance and volume directance.

    The original pump had a base plate of prefabulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in direct line with the pentametric chamber. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzelvanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbline was effectively prevented. The main piston was of the normal Lotus-0-Δ type placed in panendermic semiboiloid slots in the cylinder, every seventh reciprocator being connected by a nonreversible tremie pipe to the differential gridlespring on the “up” end of the desensitizers.

    Forty-one manestically spaced grouting nozzels were arranged to feed into the piston slipstream a mixture of high S-value phenylhydrobenzamine and 5% remanative tetryliodohexamine. Both of these liquids have specific pericosities given by P = 2.5 C n^6.7, where n is the diathetical evolute of retrograde temperature phase disposition and C is Chlomondeley’s annular grillage coefficient. Initially, n was measured with the aid of metaploar refractive pilfrometer (for a description of this ingenious instrument, see Reference 1), but up to the present, nothing has been found to equal the transcendental hopper dadoscope (2).

    Mechanical engineers will appreciate the difficulty of nubing together a regurgitative purwell and a supramitive wennelsprock. Indeed, this proved to be a stumbling block to further development until, in 1998, it was found that the use of anhydrous nangling pins enabled the kryptonastic boiling shim to be tankered.

    The early attempts to construct a sufficiently robust spiral eliminator failed largely because of a lack of appreciation of the large quasipiestic stresses in the gremlin studs; the latter were specifically designed to hold the roffit bars to the spamshaft. When, however, it was discovered that chattering could be prevented by a simple addition to the living sockets, almost perfect running was secured.

    The operating point is maintained as near as possible to the Seyboldt peak by constantly fromaging the bitumogenous spandrels. This is a distinct advance on the standard nivel-sheave in that no dramcock oil is required after the nozzle detractors have remissed.

    The turbo-encabulator has reached a very high level of technical development. It has been successfully used for operating nofer cracking processes. In addition, whenever a Barescent Skor effect is required, it may be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocating dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal depleneration (add a /BS suffix to the pump part number).

    References:

      (1) Rumpelvestein, L.E., Z. Mechanno-technistatisch-Donnerblitz vii.

      (2) Oriceddubg of the Peruvian Academy of Sciences, June 1996.

    For those who are students of both Electrical Engineering and of Mechanical Engineering, it may be interesting to compare and contrast the changes I made to Quick’s original masterpiece 😉

  10. Wow, Vitruvius, you obviously write really, really fast. To have almost instantaneously assembled such a studious, measured and thoughtful response to the post is quite impressive. The block-quoted portion is a cut-and-paste job, I understand, but for you to have composed that considered, elegant, detailed opening paragraph – including links – in response to the post in just a couple of minutes, is…..really impressive!
    You always struck me as a measured commenter, one who spends a certain amount of time composing his comments.
    I clearly underestimated you. My apologies.

  12. Guess what country is leading the way in Europe.
    Sweden!
    Come again?
    Sweden: 6.9% GDP growth.
    “The Swedes were able to build a highly interventionist model during part of the 20th century because they had accumulated, since the 19th century, an extraordinary amount of capital due to their innovative businesses. Their entrepreneurial rise had in part been rooted in a history of bottom-up structures — a rule-of-law tradition and a peasantry steeped in private property — that spared Sweden the feudal legacy that preserved stark class distinctions in other parts of Europe. The subsequent socialist era consumed part of the capital and sapped a big deal of the productive energy. But once it reached a crisis point, it was gradually reformed during part of the last couple of decades. The current government has gone further.”

  13. Vitruvius, I especially liked this quote from the site above:
    An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes, which can be made, in
    a very narrow field. – Niels Henrik David Bohr (1885-1962)

  15. Good one EBD. Hey didn’t someone sink a cargo ship that was transporting a few cars with these turbo encabulators installed?

  19. If I’m not mistaken, this is precisely what the car makers do not want us to know because they are in cahoots with big oil!!!!

  21. You are not mistaken ∞². This video only showed the information that the car manufacturers wanted you to see. They didn’t mention anything about the mandionic signals that were sent by the Jefferson chips.

  22. Nice try Vit. What does the courage of those that rightfully assert our position on top of the food chain have to do with the Hummer? … except for maybe, take away eel in the winter?

  24. I guess it was a glitch in the Turbo Encabulator that didn’t allow Marvin the Martian to enjoy that earth -shattering “kaboom” generated by his Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator.
    Damn that alien technology
    EBD/ Vίt – More please

  26. AGW Progress Report.
    You like our apocalcyses report? You want more “blowing in today”?
    Red-Green Mao Stlong, say say, You get Goody Biggy Fleeze. Ask my nephew Canadian Liberal leader Bob Rae* how he rike Big Fleeze and 8″.
    …-
    “Blowing in today, the new Big Freeze: Heavy snow spells chaos in run-up to Christmas”
    “A new Big Freeze began to take an icy grip on the country today, threatening further chaos in the run-up to Christmas.
    A severe weather warning is in place covering the whole of the UK, but this time the West rather than the East is expected to be hardest hit.
    Widespread snow showers affected northern Scotland with some disruption on the roads.
    The worst-affected areas could see up to eight inches of snow tomorrow, with up to four inches falling on low ground.”
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1338191/Big-freeze-Snow-spells-chaos-run-Christmas.html
    …-
    *Nephew Bob Rae:
    “MP Bob Rae hurt in fall
    Liberal MP Bob Rae was taken to hospital Wednesday evening after he slipped and fell on the ice on the way to the party’s Christmas bash. Rae reportedly hurt his shoulder.”
    http://www.windsorstar.com/news/hurt+fall/3985051/story.html

  27. Gaia’s moonBAT Report.
    Big Fat Obese Gaia Brrrsssszzz Her Buns Off.
    “Finally, an upside to the frigid temperatures that have gripped much of the nation — all the shivering could help shed a few pounds.”
    Read more ’bout Gaia’s BAT.
    …-
    “Brr! Can Frigid Temps Lead to Weight Loss?”
    “Author Favors ‘Thermal Dieting,’ Which Uses Cold Temps to Boost Metabolism”
    http://abcnews.go.com/Health/brr-frigid-temps-lead-weight-loss/story?id=12402127

  28. let’s pay a vist to private bradley manning. you know, the one that got the wikileaks thing fired up:
    http://www.salon.com/news/opinion/glenn_greenwald/2010/12/14/manning/index.html
    when does the waterboarding start? what info are they committing this torture over? trying to find out who the fcuk gave a 22 y.o. private access to this volume of sensitive digital data?
    oh. just doing it for fun and to make an example of him. when are they going to get around to laying charges of espionage or sumptin? did aldrich ames get this treatment?
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aldrich_Ames
    and if not why not? who actually did the most damage to american interests and put lives at risk FOR PERSONAL BENEFIT? hmmm? answer the question SDA, was it ames or manning?
    jeezuz you people are such hypocrites.

  30. Sounds to me like its time to JUXTAPOSE!
    Last year Sarah Palin was credited with 2009’s “big lie” award. This is the “Death Panels” lie that leftards were so enraged about.
    This morning on Fox comes a report that the FDA is pulling approval for a cancer drug that actually works.
    The reason: Its too expensive.

  32. Antenor 10:56 PM,
    Yes this is the exact engine that powers all AGW models manufactured in the last 20 years. Also featured is a Mannetal transmission to make those level stretches and annoying declines into a continuous climb. (Yes it is true that your uncle had to walk 6 miles to school, uphill there and back). Vital to its success is the liberal demographic Algorethm, the Suzuki asynchronus bus and the Hansen boGISS hyberbolator. Marketed through a network of McDonald’s franchises, the CBC.

  33. Peter Mansoor and Max Boot, Winning in Afghanistan
    The Obama administration’s Afghanistan assessment, due out Thursday, reportedly indicates uneven but real progress. Fed a steady diet of gloom and doom, including Wednesday’s headlines about negative intelligence assessments, many Americans will be surprised at this finding.
    But in any far-off guerrilla war, perception back home often lags battlefield reality by several months. It certainly did in Iraq during the “surge” in 2007. So too in Afghanistan, where the buildup of U.S. forces, completed only this fall, is already having a considerable impact, although public opinion hasn’t caught on yet….
    Two Achilles’ heels could still hamper coalition attempts to translate tactical accomplishments into lasting strategic success: lack of good governance in Afghanistan and the presence of Taliban sanctuaries in Pakistan….

  34. (PDF warning) Combating Terrorism Center at West Point, Self-Inflicted Wounds
    Debates and Divisions within al-Qa’ida and its Periphery
    As we approach the tenth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks next September, the United States, its Western allies, and nearly all states in the Islamic world are facing a weakened jihadi enemy, but one still capable of inflicting, or threatening to inflict, spectacular acts of terrorist violence. The recent attempts to send package bombs on cargo planes is only the latest in a series of plots suggesting that although al‐Qa’ida and its cohorts have suffered a number of setbacks, the group and its affiliates and associates continue to pose a serious challenge to the security of the United States and its allies.
    Self‐Inflicted Wounds: Debates and Divisions within al‐Qa’ida and its Periphery examines the internal, or endogenous, reasons that have hastened the decline of the jihadi movement. In doing so, it exposes the jihadi movement, with al‐Qa’ida at its helm, as one that lacks coherence and unity, despite its claims to the contrary. The report divides the jihadis’ endogenous problems into two categories: internal divisions plaguing al‐Qa’ida and the jihadi movement proper; and fault lines dividing the jihadi movement from other Muslim and Islamist actors….

  35. RAND Corp., An Economic Analysis of the Financial Records of al-Qa’ida in Iraq
    This monograph analyzes the finances of the militant group al-Qa’ida in Iraq (AQI) in Anbar province during 2005 and 2006, at the peak of the group’s power and influence. The authors draw on captured documents that give details on the daily financial transactions of one specific sector within Anbar province and of the financial transactions of the AQI provincial administration. Some of their conclusions are: AQI was a hierarchical organization with decentralized decisionmaking; AQI in Anbar was profitable enough to send substantial revenues out of the province in 2006; AQI relied on extortion, theft, and black market sales to fund its operations in Anbar; AQI needed large, regular revenue sources to fund its operations, but its administrative leaders did not hold much cash on hand. The authors’ interpretation of data on compensation practices and participants’ risk of death indicates that AQI members were poorly compensated and suggests that they were not motivated primarily by money to join the group. The authors also find that mounting attacks required organizational expenditures well beyond the cost of materiel used in attacks. One major conclusion is that disrupting AQI’s financial flows could disrupt the pace of their attacks.

  36. Headline from the Daily Oil Bulletin yesterday:
    “Science Panel Finds Oilsands Impact Less Harmful Than Accusations”
    Headline translated into Liberal/Leftist:
    “Royal Society of Canada Revealed As Newest Flunkies of Big Oil”
    Executive summary (23 pages):
    http://www.rsc-src.ca/documents/expert/RSC_ExP_ExecutiveSummary_ENG_Dec14_10_FINAL_v5.pdf
    Full Report (400+ pages):
    http://www.rsc-src.ca/documents/expert/RSC%20report%20complete%20secured%209Mb.pdf
    High points:
    “While there is much room for improvement, a major challenge on greenhouse gas emissions and a lot of work ahead, Alberta’s oilsands are not causing a lot of the environmental disasters portrayed by some environmental groups, suggest …an expert panel of scientists commissioned by The Royal Society of Canada.
    There is no credible evidence that Fort Chipewyan residents are getting cancer from exposure to the oilsands, nor is oilsands development harming the Athabasca River or the region’s air quality, says …a panel of academics.
    Current industrial water use demands do not threaten the viability of the Athabasca River system if the Water Management Framework is fully implemented and enforced….”
    Calgary Herald’s reports on the report:
    http://www.calgaryherald.com/business/First+Nations+dispute+findings+oilsands+environmental+study/3985425/story.html
    http://www.calgaryherald.com/business/Braid+Government+comes+worse+than+oilsands+scientists+report/3985427/story.html
    http://www.calgaryherald.com/business/Yedlin+Society+oilsands+report+pulls+punches/3985485/story.html
    (Yedlin is generally pro-oil.)
    http://www.calgaryherald.com/business/Editorial+Oilsands+report+slays+myths+scolds+government/3984392/story.html
    Typical CBC commenter responses:
    http://www.cbc.ca/canada/calgary/story/2010/12/15/oilsands-scientists.html

  37. AGW Progress Report: AGW Death Watch and “Chaos”.
    …-
    “Man died in Ontario storm: Reports”
    “Police say they found the body of a man only 50 metres away from his car that was stranded on a snowstruck rural road near Ontario’s Highway 402, that was closed during the massive snowstorm this week.”
    (canoenews)
    …-
    “Wednesday’s Ice Leaves Five Dead in the South”
    “At least five people, including two teenagers, are dead after icy weather led to countless vehicle accidents across the South and lower Midwest on Wednesday.”
    http://www.accuweather.com/blogs/news/story/43091/wednesdays-ice-leaves-five-dea.asp
    …-
    “Chaos grips Edmonton roads in wake of storm”
    (canoenews)

  39. Cy Kofant, Fresh Approach: It’s Time for the Afghans to Leave Afghanistan
    Recently there’s been much talk criticizing our engagement in Afghanistan. Previously loyal supporters of our war effort have asked why we are in Afghanistan, how the country is crucial to our strategic interests, and why our objectives can’t be served by a minor investment in counterterrorism effort, followed by overwhelming force in the case of a wholesale revival of al-Qaeda. They have complained of the intractable nature of Pashtun culture, the waste of American taxpayers’ money in training the untrainable Afghan police, and the feckless, selfish nature of many high government officials in Afghanistan.
    Do I intend to argue with this line of reasoning? No. I embrace it. The only thing wrong with our involvement in Afghanistan is — the Afghans!
    Should we leave Afghanistan? Absolutely not. The Afghans should leave Afghanistan!…

  40. “Ignatieff sings We With(sic)You a Merry Christmas”
    “Vancouver Sun (blog)”
    …-
    PET Cemetery (push-poll) Survey.
    Q: Do you agree with CBC that it is undignified of Liberal Iggy to sing “We With You…” in public?
    1. Agree
    2. Agree.
    3. Yes.
    4. Agree.
    5. “We With You”.
    Vote here: libsynchIggy.caca

  41. Gaia’s Revenge*.
    “In central England, the first week of December has been called the coldest such week since 1879.”
    AGW/Gaia’s forces invade socialist Europe.
    …-
    “House of Commons Session 2005-06
    Internet Publications
    Climate Change and Sustainable Energy Bill
    This is the text of the Climate Change and Sustainable Energy Bill, as ordered by the House of Commons to be printed on 22nd June 2005.”
    http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200506/cmbills/017/2006017.htm
    …-
    *Gaia’s Revenge:
    “More Snow, Cold for UK, Northern Europe”
    “A fresh blast of arctic air will set up another snowy cold wave across the U.K. and much of Europe.
    Thursday, an arctic cold front at the leading edge of the outbreak swept through Scotland with powerful winds, bursts of snow, and a temperature drop up to 20 F, or 11 C.
    This front then charged southward over the rest of the U.K. and Ireland, and is aimed for the mainland from France to Germany and the Low Countries, packing rain as well as snow. The combination of rain and snow followed by freezing cold will threaten to spark sudden freeze-ups, leading to travel disruption into Friday.”
    http://www.accuweather.com/blogs/news/story/43106/more-snow-cold-for-uk-northern.asp

  45. A trailer for Victor Davis Hanson’s article linked above: In truth, Assange is a sorry product of the postmodern West. He reminds us of the morality of Western shock artists who freely caricature Christianity on the hallowed principle of free speech, but, in a nano-second, censor themselves when Islam might provide an even larger target for their cynical secular disdain. WikiLeaks is the journalistic equivalent of a Piss Christ exhibition of the contemporary art world — a repellent reminder of the cowardly selectivity of the shock-jock huckster.

  46. Christmas
    Mrs. Nina Grewal (Fleetwood—Port Kells, CPC):
    Mr. Speaker, Christmas is fast approaching and tales of political correctness fill the air as many seek to remove all that is Christian from Christmas.
    Nativity scenes are banned, holiday trees replace Christmas trees and references to God, Christ and the Lord are cast aside, leaving us with just another meaningless, consumer-oriented holiday. The spirit of Christmas should not be taken out of Christmas. Non-Christian, new Canadians or immigrants are not offended and do not want to be protected.
    Every year thousands of all faith gather to celebrate the Chinese New Year, Vaisakhi, Diwali and more. We accept and respect each other’s beliefs and traditions. Therefore, let us not strip Christians of their identity and faith and let us not abandon the traditions of religion.
    I wish my Christian friends a happy Vaisakhi and they wish me a merry Christmas and we all celebrate together. Let us celebrate Christmas as it is and as it should be.

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