How to Hang an Ape

59 Replies to “How to Hang an Ape”

1. Revnant:
   She’d keep you awake just chewing on the bedpost.

2. “Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!”
   — C. Heston

3. Really?
   Are these the same people who promised to leave if Bush was elected? They didn’t leave, and I am sure the primates won’t be hanging themselves.
   Those other two videos on CJunk’s page are interesting.

4. One can only hope that the creators of the animation will do as they imagine the anthropomorphic creatures doing!

5. Why no centipede crying? No sea sponge committing suicide? No amoeba jumping off a cliff? No malaria protozoa drowning itself?

6. Here’s how the eco-freaks will break the bad news (apologies in advance):
   John had just won first prize at a cat show and had received a
   10-day cruise to the Puerto Rico. The catch was, though, pets
   weren’t allowed on the cruise. So John decided to leave his cat
   with his best friend, Al.
   Al agreed to come over to John’s house and live with his mom for
   the duration of the cruise. John told Al, “Just feed the cat three
   meals a day, and take good care of him. He’s my prize-winning
   cat!” And with that, he left.
   The next day, John phoned Al on his cell phone and asked, “How are
   things?” To which Al responded, “Things are fine.”
   “How’s Mom?”
   “Mom’s fine.”
   “How’s the cat?”
   “The cat’s fine.” Satisfied, John hung up.
   Next day, John called Al again, asking the same questions.
   “How are things?”
   “Things are fine.”
   “How’s Mom?”
   “Mom’s fine.”
   “How’s the cat?”
   “The cat’s DEAD.”
   “WHAT?!?” John was quite distressed. “How could you let it die?
   It was my prize cat!”
   “Well, John, I’m sorry, but I couldn’t do anything, I didn’t see
   it. But what I think happened was that the cat was on the roof,
   fell off, and broke his leg. Then, he hobbled out into the road,
   and got run over.”
   John was cooling down a bit now, and said, “Well, couldn’t you
   have tried to break it to me over time? You could have said it
   bit by bit. For example, you could have first said ‘The cat’s on
   the roof’, then the next day said ‘The cat fell off the roof, and
   broke its leg’, see what I’m saying.”
   “Yeah, yeah, I get it. See you later, John.”
   “Ok… bye.” John hung up.
   The next day, John phoned Al again.
   “How are things?”
   “Things are fine.”
   “How’s Mom?”
   “Umh,” Al said, “Mom’s on the roof.”

7. Gosh, I’m really confused now. I thought Australians were being encouraged to eat kangaroos to save the planet.
   http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7645969.stm

8. It’s obvious to me that the monkey and the polar bear are all suffering from alienation and depression.
   In other words, they see life from an atheistic, existentialist point of view.
   The video demonstrating the cure sees them going into Freudian analysis and joining a Marxist study group.
   Their existential angst and the meaninglessness of existence is quickly changed to exuberant, revolutionary zeal, turning on their oppressors.
   Now the landscape is bright, and everyone is vigorous again.

9. I thought it was a tobacco ad until that weird comment about global warming!