When your on-campus Indigenous Healer is armed, indigenously, with a totally indigenous tuning fork:
Those touched by Ms Schenandoah’s uncanny powers will learn that the forest is “a relative, not a resource,” and that birds “sing in the morning because they’re happy.” Quality stuff.
Armed with such arcane skills, Ms Schenandoah – whose job description is curiously vague – will provide “a safe space where Indigenous students can cope with stress and trauma.”
Yes, the trauma of attending one of the more expensive and statusful colleges in America, with its annual fees of $70,000, its 920 acres of rolling lawns, its 20 tennis courts, and a capacious ice-skating pavilion.
Owen Wister, please take note.
I’ve long believed that Shenandoah needed more consonants.
There is so much to work with here, David, thank you.
Those considering attending Syracuse University should be delighted with the following:
“Now, in addition to pet therapy, meditation and roommate mediation, Syracuse students can seek treatment from Diane Schenandoah, a faith keeper of the Oneida Nation…”
Because who didn’t at some moment in the past want to kill their college roommate?
I own a couple of those Oneida flatware pieces …
https://oneidaflatware.org/
But my forks don’t appear to hold any special powers other than helping me stab that piece of steak and safely transport it to my mouth.
When you come to a fork in the road, tune it!
They should take classes outdoors in a tent made of animal skins.
The female students can listen while sewing new animal skin tents, using traditional implements.
That includes chewing the hides to soften the texture. The young ladies will be toothless by age forty as a result.