Honey, I Finished The Internet

5 Replies to “Honey, I Finished The Internet”

1. I suppose looking stupid was never considered?
   My bad… these are politicians who gravitate towards everything stupid.

2. In an unconfirmed rumor…
   King Chuck the Smuck had to reduce his staff down causing considerable burn out to the manicure and pedicure staff of twenty staff for each finger and toes.
   Down to one per hand and feet causing considerable hardship for these workers with just the four staff remaining on permanent salaries.

3. I know where the custom originated. It’s one of those Little Known Historical Facts®**

   Way back when, the guys (it was always guys, white guys, then) had to have a cane to be considered properly dressed. Sometimes, disagreements between a couple of dudes were settled with a whack on the skull with that handy-dandy cane.

   Long before American football players thought of leather helmets, those old guys tried various methods of protecting their noggins. Aha! A nice thick wig would work a treat. Bonus! It opened up opportunities for new levels of fussiness and foppishness.

   Thus, a tradition was born of necessity and vanity.
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   **These facts are so little known because I make them up.

   1. as good as any other reason.

   2. I read that they kept their hair on their heads cropped so head lice wouldn’t have a home. And they wore wigs so they wouldn’t look like peasants.

      However, I guess they just wear them nowadays in a silly attempt to appear dignified.