32 Replies to “The Children Are Our Future”

  1. Can’t be too careful you know, the child may ‘assault’ some construction paper.
    Cheers
    Hans Rupprecht, Commander in Chief
    1st Saint Nicolaas Army
    Army Group ‘True North’

  2. Ferguson and Detroit are our future as well…you know because diversity is our greatest strength and all that…

  5. You mean they haven’t tossed all those sharp, pointy metal thingies and replaced them with roundy-ended plastic ones?
    No wonder they’re in lockdown
    Whew!

  7. Step 1
    Take a chair and pin the little f***** up against a wall.
    Step 2
    Take the knife from the little f*****.
    Step 3
    Kick the little f*****’s arse around the school until his f*****g nose bleeds.

  8. They’re still waiting for the SWAT team with their remote controlled super-duper tactical robot.
    Gotta justify their costly inventory of ‘stuff’ ya know!
    Who are these assholes in charge anyway??

  9. They really should send in the swat team because you just never know. He could have nail clippers too.

  10. Another reason why being a teacher in this country just isn’t worth it:
    a colleague of my father (a now retired teacher)once stopped a troublesome student in the hallway while he was fighting. He whipped out his cellphone and called his lawyer daddy.
    While it would make oodles of sense to just take the scissors from the boy, even if he had to be restrained, doing so would end one’s career and if you’re a real teacher and not a union lackey, that’s going to suck.

  11. Dude, chair? Seriously?
    Its a KID. You take his arm in your comparatively enormous hand, you immobilize him, you remove the scissors effortlessly, and then you look him right in the eye and ask him what his malfunction is.
    At worst, the kid is having a psychotic break. In which case you SIT ON HIM until he stops thrashing. Takes two to three minutes for them to tire out, then they go all floppy. Ask me how I know.
    Total damage to you, zero. Total damage to the kid, zero. Total disruption of the school day, minimal.
    Or you could do what these morons did, let the kid tear apart a school room while they waited for the cops. Because only COPS and allowed to physically restrain a student in our brave new world.
    Always remember my friends, when seconds count the cops are minutes away.

  12. The poor dear . . . root causes . . . need funding now . . . scissor registry . . . I can’t even do satire anymore, because it will be tomorrow’s reality.

  16. HEEEE, Heeee, heeeeeeeeeee……………
    Little dickhead’s just lucky he’s not throwing his tantrum in Cleveland.

  17. yep, that’s the one. This is the true lesson of Full Metal Jacket: disarm first, THEN ask about the major malfunction. Gunny got it backwards there.
    The Phantom’s Pedagogical Tip Today: its hard for a kid to stab you when you’re sitting on him.

  19. *
    i remember in primary school, a classmate of mine got thrown over a row of desks (with students sitting in them) because he didn’t “yessir” the south african born teacher in a timely manner.
    if this guy caught you goofing off, falling asleep or talking another kid, he’d bean you with those old wood-handled chalkboard erasers. a headshot would sometimes blow a kid right out of his seat… which the rest of the class would invariably find hilarious.
    i imagine this guy would have simply disarmed this kid, scraped his eyebrows off with the knife and then handed it back just to see if the lesson has stuck.
    i don’t know that we liked the guy exactly, but we respected the crap outta him.
    *

  20. It is a fact that there are, within the walls of elementary schools now, psychotic, anti-social children who require multiple layers of aids, facilities and accommodations. Under the threat of legal action school boards allow kids who are a clear danger to staff, fellow school children and themselves. One of my children had to learn a “tornado drill” (line up along front chalkboard wall on knees, crouched down, hands over head) to accommodate the mental health issues of one student who could snap at the least provocation and it would take all the adults in the room to remove him while all hell broke loose in the class. This was a third grade classroom. The child’s Children’s Aid worker shows up on a regular basis to berate the school for not doing enough to accommodate him.
    This must be part of the pink-diversity-celebration theme that sucks our children dry of common sense and critical thinking skills.

  21. bucket of nice cold water in the face will shock the h3ll out of little brats, and cause them to drop what ever they may be holding. Works on animals as well, both 2 legged and 4 legged.

  22. The rest of the school kids will now need to endure years of trauma therapy to make them gay.

  23. Reminds me of a young mother with a three year old boy who would stand and scream if he did not immediatly get attention.
    Grand ma’s cure?
    A gallon bucket of ice cold water followed by being “dried off” with the wooden spoon.
    One application he was cured.

  26. Oh, yes! Send in those SWAT teams, complete with tear gas and flash-bang grenades! They don’t get enough practice in using their toys, so this would make a really good exercise for them!
    /sarc

  27. Cue Estelle Geddes, from Golden Girls:
    Picture this..
    It’s 1973, an english high school
    St Foy, a Quebec City suburb.
    The ENTIRE STUDENT BODY Grades 8-11 is assembled in the school chapel.
    Yes Virginia there was such a thing.
    After addressing some other buisness on the agenda, ONE young man is asked, and complies, to approach the microphone. He has the tough street demeanour of the student named “Bender” played by Jud Hirsh in “The Breakfast Club”. Disturbed, short fuse type.
    He starts to speak, and proceeds to APPOLOGIZE (I kid you not)………. for a disturbance/disrespect towards a teacher during exam session. When he is done, the principal goes on to other agenda items, and the lad returns to his seat.
    Never, EVER, thought I’d ever see that.

  28. “Take a chair and pin the little f***** up against a wall…..”
    Posted by: Jamie MacMaster on November 25, 2014 2:00 PM
    Quite right! WTF? Are none of the teachers or support workers in that school man enough to overpower a 9 year old?

  29. I recall high school…the principle and vice were WW2 vets (majors)….the principle was a thug…the vice was an officer and a gentleman.
    One day a young teacher had a control problem with 9F or 9J or whatever….
    The principle was away and the vice was called….he proceeded to our class 12B, most of the senior football team…..requested the guys come with him….on the way over he briefed us….
    The vice entered the room in question alone….anarchy…he calmly called for order and all to take their seats….a big kid declared “you and whose army…old man”….
    The vice stepped back a bit and we calmly filed in, past him….instant order……no violence….

  32. *
    “aviator asks Jeez, Neo – were we in the same Physics class? The teacher’s description fits.
    nope this was catholic school grade 7. you should have seen the principal… one tough nun. i’d guess she was the one who hired this guy.
    *

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