39 Replies to “While Battling Space Aliens And Capturing Godzilla”

  1. More Liberal Magical Thinking®.

    It sounds to me as if Canada’s weapons systems are of the sort, “If we head some ham, we could have ham and eggs, if we had some eggs.” Everything is maybe, might, probably could, possibly within the next decade.

    At the moment, I wouldn’t put the Canadian Navy up against a flotilla of duck hunters in jon boats. (OK. I exaggerate. But currently, reality isn’t matching wishful thinking.)

    2. This is not New. In the 80s the Army had the Corps 86 Fantasy. An army with a German, American, and a Canadian Corps. The Canadian Corps was to have two armored divisions, a mechanized Division, and an Artillery division. No one could explain where the 460-600 tanks (battle replacements), or the hundreds of artillery pieces would come from. Nor did we have the troops, since the entire CF had only 80K. Our existing tanks consisted of 128 Leopard Is, many converted to recovery or engineering vehicles.
      I’m sure someone received a promotion, and a Nebula award, for this.

  2. With apologies to John, Paul, George and Ringo …

    Admiral Topshee notified me
    His men were giving birth so they couldn’t get to sea ….

  3. I guess he is assuming that when our unarmed arctic patrol vessels ask them to go home that they will.

  4. I read that yesterday. Couldn’t stop laughing. The display of hubris and/or ignorance was stunning. I’m sure Xi & Putin are shaking in their boots.

    1. Don’t be silly … his pronouns are ze/they! Putin’s are only he/toxic … your Admiral are many people … Putin’s only ONE toxic male.

  6. It would appear the only thing Topshee is good at is kissing Librano ass. If, a big if, they could manage to get one of their barely serviceable boats up there, there best weapon would be a loudspeaker. Please leave! Nuclear navies, operating subs, icebreakers, and actual warships will probably find that cute, before they pick which of 10 options will dispose of the annoyance at least cost.

    1. Hey! That would make a pretty good, sad Canadian Navy song, GYM.

      ♯♪♫ We wish we had some floaty boats. ♪♫

      ♪♫ We wish we had some ammo. ♪♫

      ♪♫ O’ where do the Indians build the underwater canoe ♪♫

      with torpedo bows and arrows? ♯♪♫

  9. “Vice-Admiral Angus Topshee, commander of the Canadian Navy, says the Canada could defend against Arctic trespassing with new ships, submarines and underwater surveillance technology.”

    You mean the ships, subs and surveillance gear that Canada doesn’t have right now? And at the best will not have for another two decades?

    2. Well we don’t have the ships, subs and surveillance gear right now but that’s OK because, as he said, “it’s not worth the expense of adding more weapons to the AOPS now because the threat doesn’t warrant it.”

      Riiight! Wishful thinking. Somehow he fails to understand that if you wait until the threat actually does warrant it, it’s far too late.

  10. At his level, he’s just another politician. He looks upward to see what his bosses want him to say. Needless to say, as base commander, he started charging everyone for parking at CFB Halifax, and was promoted shortly after doing so.

  11. What’s all this talk of thick sea ice and ultra sub zero temps? I thought global warming had changed Canada’s Navy to a tropical fleet of sailing ships? Using nothing but clean, green, renewable, non-polluting wind power?

    1. Staffed by bikini-clad transgender warriors.

      I’m struggling to determine if “matey” is gender-specific.

      Ah, well. “Ahoy, people kind!”

  14. You’d figure after so many years of climbing the ranks…a person would grow a spine and be courageous enough to tell the truth. He must be hoping to become CDS–it is, after all, the Navy’s “turn” to be the top of the uniformed sh!t pile.

  15. I had to seriously walk away for a Minute, I was laughing so hard.

    What tools does this Imbecile think we have..??
    A Few rickety old corvettes, Mickey mouse patrol boats, Subs that cant resurface, 45 yr old fighter Land based fighter jets staying airborne with canabalized parts, all of which crewed by guys in skirts that cant Even MARCH properly…??

    LMFAO….Fat F’n chance kiddies. Besides, Trudeau would likely invite them in to be Honest…hasn’t that been the case already.??

    1. “I had to seriously walk away for a Minute, I was laughing so hard.”

      Me too, after I read the part about the ‘non-nuclear’ submarines departing Esquimalt, sailing up to the Beaufort Sea and patrolling for 21 days *submerged*. Yeah, good luck with that…the best AIP subs in the world can’t pull off more than 2 weeks submerged, and at very low speeds (so, what…you’re just going to patrol the edges of our huge ice cap?). Any half-decent nuclear boat will be well beyond their reach.

      All that talk about towed arrays and minefields in the Arctic was also weird. This guy sounds like a flake.

  16. I would strongly advise against attempting to capture Godzilla. Maybe the Lollipop monster from the Okanogan Valley, but surely not Godzilla. Not with only 1.2% of GDP. Our military started going to heck when someone thought it was a good idea to store our submarines in the West Edmonton Mall.

  18. l understand theres a retired obsolete sub used as a tourist attraction in port burwell.
    mebbe some of the unemployed locals could get it in at least mobile surface shape and continue to work on it.
    dont forget a cpl magazines for the 25 mm.

  19. No need to threaten Canada.
    Just sail in,take what you want,pay off a few Liberals and leave the site for Environment Canada to exploit.
    We are so FUBAR militarily that I wonder…Where do you begin?
    Arrest and hang every one above Staff Sargent?
    Senior officers,we hang twice?
    We are bordered by 3 oceans,one hampered by serious ice and I doubt we can patrol,service the North at all.
    Some years back we lost the Captain and the helicopter pilot from our only half decent Coastguard Icebreaker,the copter failed and they went down,no equipment/backup was available to rescue them,so they died.
    Of exposure.
    Polaris Mine closed years ago,so where would a Polar Icebreaker refuel now?
    We have no Ice hardened support vessels of any capacity..
    We have a whole bunch of nothing.
    And we rely completely upon the goodwill and protection of the USA.
    Yet we are neither honest nor gracious about this .
    If High Arctic sovereignty is a concern,the Western Provinces and Territories would be better off joining with Alaska.

    Cause there is and will be no help coming from Ottawa.

  20. The comment is farcical.

    In the arctic you need ice breakers and nuclear subs. It’s a different game in 10′ ice.
    The Americans are found wanting when it comes to arctic patrol as well. The ruskies are well ahead of either of us .

  22. “They have everything they need for the missions that we anticipate”
    So as long as the Chinese don’t do anything we don’t anticipate, we’re golden.
    So as long as the entirety of Canada’s defence stays drinking everyday, and unable to anticipate anything, we’re golden.
    Great.

    And in a decade, Canada “may have” new submarines though not real submarines just the diesel types.
    Will those ships being built by Irving be complete and actually sea worthy then? Are Canada’s politicians saying there’ll be no trouble until then? I think the Democrats in the USA and UK’s Labour are doing their best to ensure that’s sped up by about a decade.

    There doesn’t seem to be a lot of reality in the Admiral’s opinions.
    Canada wastes $billions on a hundred different causes and special interest groups, while the world churns ..

  23. Spend a billion dollars on a ship and can’t spend a few million to put a 4ish inch turret on the deck. I never looked up the costs but I’m guessing they are in the ballpark. Aren’t some of billion dollar new ships armed with only a 50 cal machine gun? We might lose one to Somali pirates.

    1. They could probably recycle the 4.7″/45 Mk XII guns from the HMCS Haida, I understand they still work…

  24. Canada plans to buy diesel subs, which aren’t too effective for Arctic patrols and the first one won’t be delivered for see trials until 4 governments from now, assuming that no one else sticks their fingers in that pie.

    In the same amount of time, the United States will build 5 Virginia Class boats for themselves, every 3 years. And plan to sell 3 to 5 to the Australian Navy in the early 2030s

Proudly powered by WordPress & Skyrocket Themes

MENU

Navigation