Kate,
If you did (and I do), you’d still have a liver! Life’s sweet for a moment and then the bittersweet takes over!
Andy
The schtick of the doctor’s glove followed by astroglide and a certain uncomfortable feeling would allay that wish in an instant. 🙂
dont you hate when the doc says “look no hands”
.
and a really, really, really big bladder !!
For many years, my GP was female
Step 1. She says cough, I wait five minutes and reply “did you say something”
Step 2. She says “Take a deep breath”, I reply “please be gentle”
Fred: ROTFLMPO
It’s too late for some of us.
Talk about good news but bad timing!
The other good news is that there can still be a good life without a prostate.
Yeah, seventeen beer a day would be tough on the liver, but the prostate would be happy!
This story was INEVITABLE. I took the pledge in January. I can sleep! I can sleep! Soon, I fully expect to hear about the magical health-giving properties of Martinis (sigh).
I once in awhile do indulge. But maybe someone else has the answer to this: Myself and others have noticed that after consuming only 2 or 3 Canadian beers we will have a virtual instant headache. I have never achieved 17 American beers in one sitting, but after 8 or 9, no headache or other ill efects. Just drunk. Don’t say it is the weaker alcohol content in US beers, we are talking in far more US alcohol in total. Some say it is the additives and preservatives in Canadian beer. US brands that are brewed in Canada still give us a problem. If I drunk 17 Canadian beers I would be dead, prostate or not.
B. Hoax Aware: Micro-brews maybe?
No problem – just add coffee to the mix!
“Drinking coffee protects alcohol drinkers from developing liver disease, says a new study carried out at the Kaiser Permanente Medical Care Program, California, USA. According to the researchers, one cup of coffee per day lowered the incidence of cirrhosis of the liver for alcohol drinkers by 22%.”
medicalnewstoday.com/healthnews.php?newsid=45124
Freud’s envy: close, but no cigar.
Dammit, Pale, I was going to post exactly what you did!
Of course, if one’s prostate swells up and completely shuts off the peepee, one will not have to worry about having a prostate anymore, for when it comes to that, the prostate must necessarily come out. No question. I’ve seen that happen to a family member. But the procedure is so simple and quick one can be back to work in a couple of weeks as if nothing changed.
BTW, Kate, that’s a weird sense of humor you got there, wishing for a prostate gland. Know what? Just go ahead and have a brewski anyway! 😉
woohoo!! 17 beers and 4 large pizzas a day, try that for awhile Kate and I’m sure you’ll grow a freakin prostate!!!
Yet another scientific explanation why my girlfriend is always so happy.
Whoa Canadian Sentinel. removing the prostate is no simple procedure.
How about a week in hospital, well drugged, and six to eight weeks at home ( depending how you heal) with a catheter and a handy little pouch attached to your leg.
And if you are really fortunate and the cancer has not spread beyond the prostate you may well survive for another ten years but your physical life will not likely ever return to what it was prior.
If I’d known seventeen was the magic number I would have tried harder all those merry years…course, even the counting gets tough in the double digits.
As a beer geek, it bugs me when these reports come out indicating “x number of beers.”
Not all beers are the same, not all beers use the same amount of hops – Ex, Blue, Stella and Alexander Keith’s are all around 15 IBUs, while Sgt Majors – a true IPA – probably comes in at around 80 IBUs.
You want hops? You want bitterness? You want the supposed health benefit mentioned in the article. Then drink a micro-brewed IPA and stay away from that macro swill with all the adjuncts that give B. Hoax Aware his headaches.
Do they sell beer in the same size they sell liquor on planes. O/T-why is every car bomb, shelling, suicide bomb blast, and other terror attact, captured on video as it happens. Who knows these things are going to happen, and why don’t they report them to stop them. AKA the blast on the beach leaving a girl orphaned. Just wondering.
maryT it’s called a rent-a-crowd
Man, this getting healthy is killing me !!!!!
I quit eating pizza (bread) and cut back on the beer to lose weight and find out I’m doing my prostate no favours!! I’m near 50 and need to do my proswtate all the favours I can, but i need ot do my blood pressure all the favours i can too (weight loss and excercise).
Next thing you know, they’ll tell you chocolate is good for your heart !! (I know 🙂
Red wine will be good for your cholestrol (I know 🙂
The worst was someone saying bacon and eggs were good to fight cancer.
Maybe just a few of those IPA’s someone mentioned………..
hell jazz at near 50 you’re half dead anyway, one foot in the grave if ya get my meaning
osafir i’m just trying to keep healthy you can’t blame a guy for that can you. by the way where’s the nearest pizza joint.
Hey pale,
I forgot about today’s coffee news! Five cups a day and you can eliminate liver disease. That frees us up for the 17 preventive beer. The only things left are: heart disease (maybe chocolate can deal with that) and finding a job where you can drink 17 beer a day. Boy, life is tough sometimes.
Andy
Oh man, I just bought the ingredients for a few Chili Cheese Dogs. Fortunately that will keep while I order a large pizza (extra tomato sauce).
Happily, not ALL junk science is bad, eh?
That is the reason I can’t drink domestic beer -damn headaches, same as white wine, now I drink Guinness and red wine only, although Guinness makes me feel very full after only one pint. Interesting to see others with the same complaint though. Nonetheless, think if I drank 17 of any kind of beer a day I’d be a mess not to mention a hard core alcoholic no doubt! Likely wouldn’t even remember if I started out life with a prostrate or not by the end of the day!
Kelly, maryT, agreed, I dub them: Paliwood crisis clips. Can almost here the call for – “action”! Blasting from a LSM near you!
Stay tuned, we got more!!
“Honest dear, Dr. Kate said I had to have 15 more beer…” that would probably be the last thing I hear before I slip into unconsciousness.
I agree though that the number is a guestimate as not all brews are created equal. down here in Texas I drink the local microbrew, a texas only chezh brewwed beer and some Mex stuff. The mainstream coloured water is just that. Oh to have a big rock…
BTW: As an old fart over 50, I have to mention that I may not like the fickle finger of fate but I’d be willing to guess it is better than being in the stirups without a horse that you ladies have to endure.
Now I know the ex-wife was trying to kill me. I showed her the news paper article a few years back about how sex is good for the prostate. The look I got then just about enough to kill. Now with this beer thing, it is all starting to make sense!!!!LOL
It’s reassuring to find out how much my prostate was benefitting from my university recreational activities.
Actually, women do have a prostate, it just happens to be called the paraurethral gland and it has the same embryonic origin as the male prostate. Like it’s male counterpart, cancer can develop in it. This cancer has all of the same features of male prostate cancer including high levels of PSA in the bloodstream. Female prostate cancer occurs about as often as Saskatchewan duck hunters with unregistered shotguns shoot up the town. If medicine operated the same way as the gun registry we’d have mandatory annual PSA testing for all women probably at about the same price as the billion dollar boondoggle; after all if it saves just one life . . .
Eh, that’s cool!
Thanks to Brewhouse, my prostate is Good to go…
Eh knight – the Cerveza is good no?
Kate, you are way too good looking to want to have a prostate…and the downside of having one, is hearing the *snap* of the latex glove, just before, well, anyway…
So it’s basketballs for wine snobs then?
Okay – I ahd mi 17 bere but tath lats pissa is tuf to git dwn.
SH*T!!
I honestly had a serious point I want to make,but I refuse to”taint”the longest funny AND non-partisan thread I have witnessed on SDA!…It does remind though me of a scene in “Biloxi Blues(?)”where one recruit warns another in line for exams…”Just make sure the Doc doesn’t have BOTH of his hands on your shoulders!”
Did you ever notice how your proof reading skills disappear well before reaching 17 beers?
“I find myself wishing I owned a prostate.”
Kate, did you check on Ebay?
Daniel
I think the protection comes from the large “shed” that would be created over the prostate…
After 17 beers a day of course you wouldn’t have a prostrate problem. Course knowing you even had a prostrate, or fingers, or toes might also be a bit difficult.
No, no, not the kind were you have to lay out on the floor before a king but the prostate.
This is the most fun I have had on SDA.
Loki, you are a keeper!
As an aside, doesn’t beer make you fart? Is that good or bad for the prostate?
Joe Molnar, actually, the procedure to which I referred… I know whereof I speak, for I have been there for my father the whole time and know precisely what went on.
The procedure has changed. It involves the removal of MOST of the prostate, not all. An elecrocauterization device is inserted via the urethra, the prostatic tissue vaporized or whatever, a three-way catheter inserted for flushing-out of the resultant bladder debris and prevention of infection. The procedure was so quick that just about 3 hrs later I was talking with my dad as he came out from under. Just days later he was back home and within two weeks back at work.
And today it’s as if the prostate had been normal all along.
Chevy Chase in Fletch:
“Moooon River…”
“Got the whole fist up there Doc?”
When the doc uses two fingers, it’s because he figures you’ll want a second opinion.
When I’m not laughing, I’m cringing.
I have to share this:
A few years back, I had occasion to visit a proctologist (and I’m with the South Park kids – at what point do you decide you want to look at a##holes all day?!). As I’m bent over the table, I say “I wish Bob Rae was here instead of me”.
The nurse replies, with a very evil chuckle, “Oh, we’d *LOVE* to get Bob Rae in here…”.
”Working Where The Sun Don’t Shine”
We praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine
Respect the colorectal surgeon
It’s a calling few would crave
Lift up your hands and join us
Let’s all do the finger wave
When it comes to spreading joy
There are many techniques
Some spread joy to the world
And others just spread cheeks
Some may think the cardiologist
Is their best friend
But the colorectal surgeon knows…
He’ll get you in the end!
Why be a colorectal surgeon?
It’s one of those mysterious things.
Is it because in that profession
There are always openings?
When I first met a colorectal surgeon
He did not quite understand;
I said, “Hey nice to meet you
But do you mind? We don’t shake hands.”
He sailed right through medical school
Because he was a whiz
Oh but he never thought of psychology
Though he read passages.
A doctor he wanted to be
For golf he loved to play,
But this is not quite what he meant…
By eighteen holes a day!
Praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine!
Original author unknown
From Monty Python
Daniel
Interesting topic.
That’ll be 17 beers a day and 3 tomatoes, as well as lots of tomato sauce per day to protect the prostate, and 7-8 cups of coffee per day to protect the liver against the alcool. Any advice as to how to protect the kidneys from overwork and overload? I’d also add that the works should be undammed frequently to prevent the plumbing and aqueducts and such from becoming clogged.
I get a PSA test as well as a digital exam done yearly as I’m over 40. So far, so good. The digital exam I don’t care for but its not painful, it just feels uncomfortably weird. I hope never to have to get my prostate reamed or excised.
It is obvious that none of you have lost your prostaste gland. I have, and you don’t want to go there and make a lot of jokes about it. Sorry to be a wet blanket on your post, but really, I pee better now than I ever did before! It’s the stop peeing that becomes a real drag. Research it.
Man w/o a prostate
Kate, you already have a prostate! Your man will let you play with it anytime you want. Besides, if you consumed all that beer and pizza, you’d be the size of the Hindenburg and twice as gassy.
Kate,
If you did (and I do), you’d still have a liver! Life’s sweet for a moment and then the bittersweet takes over!
Andy
The schtick of the doctor’s glove followed by astroglide and a certain uncomfortable feeling would allay that wish in an instant. 🙂
dont you hate when the doc says “look no hands”
.
and a really, really, really big bladder !!
For many years, my GP was female
Step 1. She says cough, I wait five minutes and reply “did you say something”
Step 2. She says “Take a deep breath”, I reply “please be gentle”
Fred: ROTFLMPO
It’s too late for some of us.
Talk about good news but bad timing!
The other good news is that there can still be a good life without a prostate.
Yeah, seventeen beer a day would be tough on the liver, but the prostate would be happy!
This story was INEVITABLE. I took the pledge in January. I can sleep! I can sleep! Soon, I fully expect to hear about the magical health-giving properties of Martinis (sigh).
I once in awhile do indulge. But maybe someone else has the answer to this: Myself and others have noticed that after consuming only 2 or 3 Canadian beers we will have a virtual instant headache. I have never achieved 17 American beers in one sitting, but after 8 or 9, no headache or other ill efects. Just drunk. Don’t say it is the weaker alcohol content in US beers, we are talking in far more US alcohol in total. Some say it is the additives and preservatives in Canadian beer. US brands that are brewed in Canada still give us a problem. If I drunk 17 Canadian beers I would be dead, prostate or not.
B. Hoax Aware: Micro-brews maybe?
No problem – just add coffee to the mix!
“Drinking coffee protects alcohol drinkers from developing liver disease, says a new study carried out at the Kaiser Permanente Medical Care Program, California, USA. According to the researchers, one cup of coffee per day lowered the incidence of cirrhosis of the liver for alcohol drinkers by 22%.”
medicalnewstoday.com/healthnews.php?newsid=45124
Freud’s envy: close, but no cigar.
Dammit, Pale, I was going to post exactly what you did!
Of course, if one’s prostate swells up and completely shuts off the peepee, one will not have to worry about having a prostate anymore, for when it comes to that, the prostate must necessarily come out. No question. I’ve seen that happen to a family member. But the procedure is so simple and quick one can be back to work in a couple of weeks as if nothing changed.
BTW, Kate, that’s a weird sense of humor you got there, wishing for a prostate gland. Know what? Just go ahead and have a brewski anyway! 😉
woohoo!! 17 beers and 4 large pizzas a day, try that for awhile Kate and I’m sure you’ll grow a freakin prostate!!!
Yet another scientific explanation why my girlfriend is always so happy.
Whoa Canadian Sentinel. removing the prostate is no simple procedure.
How about a week in hospital, well drugged, and six to eight weeks at home ( depending how you heal) with a catheter and a handy little pouch attached to your leg.
And if you are really fortunate and the cancer has not spread beyond the prostate you may well survive for another ten years but your physical life will not likely ever return to what it was prior.
If I’d known seventeen was the magic number I would have tried harder all those merry years…course, even the counting gets tough in the double digits.
As a beer geek, it bugs me when these reports come out indicating “x number of beers.”
Not all beers are the same, not all beers use the same amount of hops – Ex, Blue, Stella and Alexander Keith’s are all around 15 IBUs, while Sgt Majors – a true IPA – probably comes in at around 80 IBUs.
You want hops? You want bitterness? You want the supposed health benefit mentioned in the article. Then drink a micro-brewed IPA and stay away from that macro swill with all the adjuncts that give B. Hoax Aware his headaches.
Do they sell beer in the same size they sell liquor on planes. O/T-why is every car bomb, shelling, suicide bomb blast, and other terror attact, captured on video as it happens. Who knows these things are going to happen, and why don’t they report them to stop them. AKA the blast on the beach leaving a girl orphaned. Just wondering.
maryT it’s called a rent-a-crowd
Man, this getting healthy is killing me !!!!!
I quit eating pizza (bread) and cut back on the beer to lose weight and find out I’m doing my prostate no favours!! I’m near 50 and need to do my proswtate all the favours I can, but i need ot do my blood pressure all the favours i can too (weight loss and excercise).
Next thing you know, they’ll tell you chocolate is good for your heart !! (I know 🙂
Red wine will be good for your cholestrol (I know 🙂
The worst was someone saying bacon and eggs were good to fight cancer.
Maybe just a few of those IPA’s someone mentioned………..
hell jazz at near 50 you’re half dead anyway, one foot in the grave if ya get my meaning
osafir i’m just trying to keep healthy you can’t blame a guy for that can you. by the way where’s the nearest pizza joint.
Hey pale,
I forgot about today’s coffee news! Five cups a day and you can eliminate liver disease. That frees us up for the 17 preventive beer. The only things left are: heart disease (maybe chocolate can deal with that) and finding a job where you can drink 17 beer a day. Boy, life is tough sometimes.
Andy
Oh man, I just bought the ingredients for a few Chili Cheese Dogs. Fortunately that will keep while I order a large pizza (extra tomato sauce).
Happily, not ALL junk science is bad, eh?
That is the reason I can’t drink domestic beer -damn headaches, same as white wine, now I drink Guinness and red wine only, although Guinness makes me feel very full after only one pint. Interesting to see others with the same complaint though. Nonetheless, think if I drank 17 of any kind of beer a day I’d be a mess not to mention a hard core alcoholic no doubt! Likely wouldn’t even remember if I started out life with a prostrate or not by the end of the day!
Kelly, maryT, agreed, I dub them: Paliwood crisis clips. Can almost here the call for – “action”!
Blasting from a LSM near you!
Stay tuned, we got more!!
“Honest dear, Dr. Kate said I had to have 15 more beer…” that would probably be the last thing I hear before I slip into unconsciousness.
I agree though that the number is a guestimate as not all brews are created equal. down here in Texas I drink the local microbrew, a texas only chezh brewwed beer and some Mex stuff. The mainstream coloured water is just that. Oh to have a big rock…
BTW: As an old fart over 50, I have to mention that I may not like the fickle finger of fate but I’d be willing to guess it is better than being in the stirups without a horse that you ladies have to endure.
Now I know the ex-wife was trying to kill me. I showed her the news paper article a few years back about how sex is good for the prostate. The look I got then just about enough to kill. Now with this beer thing, it is all starting to make sense!!!!LOL
It’s reassuring to find out how much my prostate was benefitting from my university recreational activities.
Actually, women do have a prostate, it just happens to be called the paraurethral gland and it has the same embryonic origin as the male prostate. Like it’s male counterpart, cancer can develop in it. This cancer has all of the same features of male prostate cancer including high levels of PSA in the bloodstream. Female prostate cancer occurs about as often as Saskatchewan duck hunters with unregistered shotguns shoot up the town. If medicine operated the same way as the gun registry we’d have mandatory annual PSA testing for all women probably at about the same price as the billion dollar boondoggle; after all if it saves just one life . . .
Eh, that’s cool!
Thanks to Brewhouse, my prostate is Good to go…
Eh knight – the Cerveza is good no?
Kate, you are way too good looking to want to have a prostate…and the downside of having one, is hearing the *snap* of the latex glove, just before, well, anyway…
So it’s basketballs for wine snobs then?
Okay – I ahd mi 17 bere but tath lats pissa is tuf to git dwn.
SH*T!!
I honestly had a serious point I want to make,but I refuse to”taint”the longest funny AND non-partisan thread I have witnessed on SDA!…It does remind though me of a scene in “Biloxi Blues(?)”where one recruit warns another in line for exams…”Just make sure the Doc doesn’t have BOTH of his hands on your shoulders!”
Did you ever notice how your proof reading skills disappear well before reaching 17 beers?
“I find myself wishing I owned a prostate.”
Kate, did you check on Ebay?
Daniel
I think the protection comes from the large “shed” that would be created over the prostate…
After 17 beers a day of course you wouldn’t have a prostrate problem. Course knowing you even had a prostrate, or fingers, or toes might also be a bit difficult.
No, no, not the kind were you have to lay out on the floor before a king but the prostate.
This is the most fun I have had on SDA.
Loki, you are a keeper!
As an aside, doesn’t beer make you fart? Is that good or bad for the prostate?
Joe Molnar, actually, the procedure to which I referred… I know whereof I speak, for I have been there for my father the whole time and know precisely what went on.
The procedure has changed. It involves the removal of MOST of the prostate, not all. An elecrocauterization device is inserted via the urethra, the prostatic tissue vaporized or whatever, a three-way catheter inserted for flushing-out of the resultant bladder debris and prevention of infection. The procedure was so quick that just about 3 hrs later I was talking with my dad as he came out from under. Just days later he was back home and within two weeks back at work.
And today it’s as if the prostate had been normal all along.
Chevy Chase in Fletch:
“Moooon River…”
“Got the whole fist up there Doc?”
When the doc uses two fingers, it’s because he figures you’ll want a second opinion.
When I’m not laughing, I’m cringing.
I have to share this:
A few years back, I had occasion to visit a proctologist (and I’m with the South Park kids – at what point do you decide you want to look at a##holes all day?!). As I’m bent over the table, I say “I wish Bob Rae was here instead of me”.
The nurse replies, with a very evil chuckle, “Oh, we’d *LOVE* to get Bob Rae in here…”.
”Working Where The Sun Don’t Shine”
We praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine
Respect the colorectal surgeon
It’s a calling few would crave
Lift up your hands and join us
Let’s all do the finger wave
When it comes to spreading joy
There are many techniques
Some spread joy to the world
And others just spread cheeks
Some may think the cardiologist
Is their best friend
But the colorectal surgeon knows…
He’ll get you in the end!
Why be a colorectal surgeon?
It’s one of those mysterious things.
Is it because in that profession
There are always openings?
When I first met a colorectal surgeon
He did not quite understand;
I said, “Hey nice to meet you
But do you mind? We don’t shake hands.”
He sailed right through medical school
Because he was a whiz
Oh but he never thought of psychology
Though he read passages.
A doctor he wanted to be
For golf he loved to play,
But this is not quite what he meant…
By eighteen holes a day!
Praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine!
Original author unknown
From Monty Python
Daniel
Interesting topic.
That’ll be 17 beers a day and 3 tomatoes, as well as lots of tomato sauce per day to protect the prostate, and 7-8 cups of coffee per day to protect the liver against the alcool. Any advice as to how to protect the kidneys from overwork and overload? I’d also add that the works should be undammed frequently to prevent the plumbing and aqueducts and such from becoming clogged.
I get a PSA test as well as a digital exam done yearly as I’m over 40. So far, so good. The digital exam I don’t care for but its not painful, it just feels uncomfortably weird. I hope never to have to get my prostate reamed or excised.
It is obvious that none of you have lost your prostaste gland. I have, and you don’t want to go there and make a lot of jokes about it. Sorry to be a wet blanket on your post, but really, I pee better now than I ever did before! It’s the stop peeing that becomes a real drag. Research it.
Man w/o a prostate
Kate, you already have a prostate! Your man will let you play with it anytime you want. Besides, if you consumed all that beer and pizza, you’d be the size of the Hindenburg and twice as gassy.