43 Replies to ““Fleas the size of rats sucked on rats the size of cats, and ten thousand peoploids split into small tribes…””

  1. Hey, what else are they gonna do, try to find a cure for the Wuhan virus or something?

    1. Referring to the Chinese as rodents is fitting … after all, you are what you eat … nez paw?

  2. Wait!? What!? … our restaurants have been FEEDING the rats !? Is this some kind of a “protection” racket by the Rats? CDC? Why are they involved? Where are the local Health Dept’s.?

    1. Don’t be racist, Canada is enriched by restaurants other than just Europe you know!

    2. I don’t know about rats, but squirrels are intelligent enough to run a protection racket. Some years ago, my uncle set up a bird feeder in his back yard in Stayner ON. The local squirrels and chipmunks enjoyed it greatly. Barriers, isolated poles, firearms etc. all failed. The rodents were outsmarting him! Then he decided to try corruption. That worked! Bird seed at 10 on his front porch! The rodents were strictly honourable – I’d rather deal with them than with most H. sapiens.

  3. They’re fattening up the rodents for their eventual demise in order to curl up and die of fright and their skins to be sent to
    The Ottawa Wig Makers of Canada to be fashioned as fashionable wigs for balding facist, narcissistic politicians. /s

    1. You do realize that’s an insult to rats, don’t you?

      1. Oh well, those are the breaks…

        ‘deplorable sewer rats’ — scare me,
        especially ones from Rupert’s Land. If I met one I’d screech hysterically and run to the nearest chair to stand on! (^_~)

        1. I’m sure you’ll remember when being called a sewer rat by Red Rachel, et. al., was considered an honour here in Alberta.

  4. That is why killing rodents has been a priority since man has existed. Of course they were a food source for many. Still are apparently.

  5. CDC Panic porn. Apparently “Murder Hornets” threatening bee colonies didn’t tick off all of the boxes.
    Restaurants on the other hand…

      1. Did you know those murderous hornets are … orange … with big fat thoraxes … !! Orange Hornet bad.

    3. Would be buy “tiny” chicken wings from a chinese resturant.. From the Bat Eaters??

  7. There are snakes, snakes, big as garden rakes. . .

    The Quartermaster’s Song

    There are snakes, snakes, snakes
    Big as garden rakes,
    At the store! At the store!
    There are snakes, snakes, snakes,
    Big as garden rakes, at the Quartermaster’s store.

    Chorus
    My eyes are dim I can-not see.
    I have not got my specs with me.
    I have HEY! Not HO! got my specs with me. . .

    1. “There are rats, rats
      Big as alley cats
      At the store! At the store!”

      And so it continues.

      1. I think I’d like a plate of garlic warf-rat with Rice a Roni …. that San Francisco Treat.
        Maybe watch a Charlie Chan movie after dinner.
        But let’s start with a appy … how about some hot crispy bat wings.

        China is asshoe

    2. An alternate version of the refrain goes:

      My teeth are dull, I cannot chew.
      It comes from opening cans of brew.
      It comes from opening cans of brew.

  8. Of course, Alberta long ago figured out a guaranteed solution to rat problems. Don’t let them in in the first place.

    An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure as far as invasion by parasites is concerned, animal or human. The difference is that nobody considers rat control racist.

    As usual, though, Alberta gets no credit for doing the sensible thing. She never does. She just gets to pay to clean up Quebec’s messes—including Montreal’s infestations of human parasites, who do far worse damage than eat garbage.

    Rats, to their credit, fear humans, and only deliberately harm them when provoked. Most human parasites could learn from rats. It makes no evolutionary sense to kill off your host.

    1. Except I rather think there’s an infestation in Edmonton. Take a look at a certain majestic building overlooking the South Saskatchewan River (and nearby, less majestic buildings).

    2. “Of course, Alberta long ago figured out a guaranteed solution to rat problems. Don’t let them in in the first place.”

      NO. We used to have rats in Alberta, just like everywhere else does. Rats eat the food humans allow them to eat. STOP FEEDING THEM.
      Stop feeding them, and when you find them KILL THEM. Soon enough, you will be Rat Free just like Alberta is.

    1. I guess he figures the $10M a Quebec politician gave him will stretch further in a low tax province

  11. If bubonic plague breaks out in NYC and there are deaths will they be counted as Covid? Asking for a friend.

  12. We’ve got a few of those outsized rodents running our great state of Michigan right now, looking for food sources and acting erratic.

  13. Paraphrasing everything any bureaucrat has ever said in the history of the world: “Look at me! I’m saving you! You need me. Don’t complain about how much I cost.”

    1. “If you complain, we have ways of dealing with you, if you know what I mean.”

  14. Hmmm. Chicago, Baltimore, Washington DC. I think I see a common denominator here.

    1. Ya beat me to it…I saw the same ting..!!
      LOL…of course, it stands to reason.
      Sanctuary Cities all I believe..?
      Dem States all no..??

  16. There is not a creature that walks, slithers, swims or flys that will instantly brings out a full on terminator response in me than a rat. Growing up on a Sask. farm may have something to do with that.
    A couple of years back a couple of them found a way into my house. They avoided traps. It took 10 days to finally shoot the buggers with a new pellet gun. The wife was ready to have me committed.
    On a side note, I have a pair of robins nesting under my deck and have spent a great deal of time watching them. From the initial nest building to eggs and hatching, The last egg hatched 4 days ago. I am absolutely blown away by the effort these 2 little birds are displaying in the care of their young. From pre dawn til last light of day, they are on a constant go. Truely remarkable.
    Makes many humans pale in comparison.

  17. I hope my readers appreciate the special order of genius it takes to weave a Diamond Dogs reference into a blog post.

    There ought to be some special award for that, but alas…

  18. There’s rats and then there’s muskrats. The one in the video by the water with the web feet….muskrat.

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