21 Replies to “Honey, I Finished The Internet”

  1. Ah yes traditional knowledge.

    Obviously, the researchers used the wrong kind of shite. Perhaps if they had asked an elder it would have worked?

    1. Rather than feces, they should have used a fart. Farts are super sharp …. can cut right through your pants without even leaving a mark … Well, sometimes they leave a mark.

  2. Yah well, maybe if he was face to face with a poley bear he’d be shittin’ razor blades! So I say it’s entirely plausible.

  3. I’m wondering why anyone would have thought frozen shite possesses any properties that would make it a better material than pure ice for this application?!?

  4. I’ma gonna shit an AR-15, the better to shoot a poley bear with, a shitty knife is not good for defense when facinfg a bear with your bear hands

  5. Wow! Traditional tales passed on from one Eskimo to another turn out to be false? Who’d a thunk, eh?
    Not a scientist living off of a taxpayer furnished government grant, that’s for sure. *This is my shocked face.*

    Next, …don’t try this at home kids, on the Granted but Shameless, taxpayer government granted scientists try to make a spearhead out of a Ping Pong ball.
    Live footage, next month.

  6. Was this study peer reviewed? It’s a sh#$%y job but someone has to do it.
    Maybe these “scientists” will be next years Ig Nobel prize winners. This year’s winner for Anatomy:

    Two scientists from France won the Anatomy Prize for measuring scrotal temperature asymmetry in naked and clothed postmen in France: for example (the left one is warmer, but only when the postman is clothed).

    “There comes a time in a scientist’s life when the surest route to global fame involves a bevy of naked French postmen with thermometers taped to their testicles”

    https://www.theguardian.com/science/2019/sep/13/study-french-postmens-testicles-ig-nobel-winner

  7. Now that’s some gen-you-ine 3-D printing skills right there, I have to admit. And also, I stand in awe of Dr. Wade Davis’s consummate trolling skills. I bet he cackles every time he takes a dump.

  8. To produce faeces with an constitution that would have been authentic to Dr Davis’ tale, Dr Eren consumed an ‘Arctic diet’.
    For eight days he stuck to eating foods high in protein and fatty acids, but also including carbs, fruit and vegetables.

    There being so many of those in the Arctic. I also note that it doesn’t look like it’s freezing in that lab. Look, the story is transparent bullsh*t[1] but they’re not even making a good faith attempt to replicate it. This is Mythbusters level of halfassery. What would we do without studies?

    [1] Or, you know, Eskimo sh*t

  9. Oh, dear, there goes Sadiq Khan’s narrative about knives….

    Nonsense like this only confirms that academic tenure needs to be abolished.

  10. Traditional knowledge:

    Rubbish savages make up to determine if white men are gullible enough to give them cargo without threats of violence.

  11. “Just like a libtard scientist, bringing a shit knife to a gunfight”

    with apologies to Mr. Connery

  12. Another book by the same author, Wade Davis, “The Serpent and the Rainbow” about voodoo which became a movie. And this is why verification in reality is important. Now imagine that the arctic explorers in question had actually succeeded and contracted some disease from the practice of using a fecal knife. Would that be news or would it be part of a gag reel (both meanings)?

  13. generally speaking, given the cold climate in thos days, in all likelihood the thing being cut prob same temp as the shyte knife.
    so what are the odds the ‘sharp edge’ will dull with the first slice and just get duller with each pass?
    and how tough is frozen pig hide?
    adios common sense !!!!
    bring on the next research grant !!!

  14. Ever stepped on a pile of frozen horseshit? Won’t cut your boot, but it will twist your ankle.

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