Insert Linda Lovelace joke here:____________________ :0

As Mark Steyn recently said, Oh great they're willing to protect us from hot tubs (now hot dogs) but not from Insane Iranians with nukes!

As Mark Steyn recently said, Oh great, they're willing to protect us from hot tubs (now hot dogs) but not from Insane Iranians with nukes!

When are the professional protesters gathering at the local A&W to get the restaurant to rename Whistle Dogs to Gagging Dogs?

Will Obama now set up a "Hot Dog Czar"?

@ Simeon, yes, his name is Oscar Mayer, oh wait, he's dead! Sorry, I'm all choked up.

Mommy mommy can I have a hot dog Slurpee?

Unfortunately, the only rational, sensible response
to this proposal happens to be obscene.

Hot Dogs are a choking hazard, as are a few hundred other items, to young children. This was mentioned at nearly every first aid/CPR class I attended. Do pediatricians plan to regulate and redesign each and every item?

Whatever happened to parents monitoring their children eating and making sure they chew before they swallow.....why is this even proposed as a government problem?

Another ridiculous suggestion of someone saying "there outta be a law"

Millions will be spent lobbying congress to ensure that hot dogs stay unregulated. What a waste

This defense my also save the young children from hot dogs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bCyIAsSid8

If hot dogs are bad, are bratwurst?

OMG I bought grapes today. Can they be redesigned too or am I the worst parent evah?

Now wait just a minute!

The ban idea comes because in reality, hot dogs are made with the dreaded.......PEANUT.

The horror!

Since Al took the insertion joke (bonus points for the double entendre), I have to be somewhat serious and say that this isn't the stupidest idea I've heard from the progressive nannies but pretty darn close. I guess the "chew your food" lesson is now missing from the latest edition of Parenting for Dummies.

Paging Monsieur Dijon, bring your fork and knife.

This dangerous situation cries out for immediate action. I think we should institute a national hotdog registry. Initially the registry would cover regular hotdogs but will be expanded to include footlongs and smokies or "long dogs" as they are known.

Particularly dangerous dogs will be banned outright. These would include cheese and jalapeno smokies, johnsonville brauts, 7-11 big bites and the recently introduced jap-a-dog.

Canadians will be required to pass a hotdog safety program in order to purchase approved dogs and will be issued a Hotdog Acquisition Certificate or HAC.

I project that this initiative will cost $ 175,000.00 to get off the ground but will become self supporting by year two.

This is a small price to pay if it saves only one child from the dangers of hotdogs.

Syncro

Grapes! I demand we design new grapes.

It's events like these that make me want to sit down and cry. 'Cause, you know, a parent can't slice the damn thing in two length-wise.....

@ Texas Canuck, it was too early in the morning to attempt the quad entendre, so I played it safe with the double and hope my style points will get me the gold.

Any mass banning of unsafe foods would have to be culturally sensitive. We wouldn't want to stifle diversity or seem intolerant.

Obviously,

The eminent crowd got some money taken from the plebeians to stimulate themselves economically speaking, though, they could stimulate themselves any way they please.
Do you remember at office creative sessions, when the guy who least contributed would proclaim that no idea is stupid?
Well, as it usually turns out, at least 30% of those ideas are so seriously stupid, they could be patented so no one else could use them, ever.

LC Bennett
[.....Any mass banning of unsafe foods would have to be culturally sensitive. We wouldn't want to stifle diversity or seem intolerant.]

Behave yourself!
This only applies mainly to the favourite food of white male redneck baseball fans...
Cultural sensitivity hence does not apply.

@LC Bennett

You are correct, the safety goon squad likely won't dare ban Kebabs:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kebab

The only redesign I can think of for a wiener is Spam in a tin. Before the Internet the word Spam meant meat spread. Sold under trades names Klic and Kam. Remember that? You opened the rectangular can with a key that came with the can.

When you finally got it opened, and scraped the gel off the meat, you were left with a coil of razor sharp tin and two can parts also with razor sharp edges to get rid of. Perhaps the wiener was developed to avoid packaging injuries with the Spam cans. Ah the circle of life.

Choking on a wiener is the least of your worries if you insist on eating this sort of shit regularly.

I don't eat processed meat. It's barely food.

There are times when one wonders just how stupid folks have become.

(warning viewer discretion advised)

Despite warning labels, every year some genious uses his hand to clear the discharge chute of his put-put snow-blower.........look ma! No hand!
Some idiot decides to clear the trash from a corn head while it is running..........look ma! No hand, arm, foot, leg!

Personally it's never crossed my mind that hotdogs could be lethal. If, however, some people are kept awake at night worrying about this danger, then the hotdog should be banned outright.

Getting something banned is not really that difficult. Just make enough noise, collar a timid politician or two (no shortage of those) and presto ... ban complete.

Just when you think that the apex of sheer, utter stupidity has been reached, something like this comes along and raises the bar.

This reminds of friends who have a house with an empty basement. One winter for fun their 4-year old daughter would ride a tricycle in the basement, and they insisted the kid wear a huge helmet and elbow pads.

I tried to talk to them about probabilities etc. but they would have none of it. They told me that pediatricians said kids must wear helmets, so therefore the kid had to wear one - in the basement.

The thing that strikes me as rather strange (shows how innured to bunkum I've become)is that this complaint is coming from Pediatricians, not ER Drs. and Paramedics (?)
Your kids turning blue; you phone to make an appointment rather than 911?!

How did we survive childhood?

ah, the good old days; char up a couple of red-hots for the kids and break out the lawn darts

I have no problem with parents making their kid wear a helmet to tricycle in a concrete basement, depending on the age of the kid. My little one has done a lot of head bumps and bashes, headfirst out of an armchair onto a hardwood floor for example. I thought someone had hit the floor with a sledgehammer.

They learn quickly to put up their arms when they fall and to generally protect their head. It hurts when you bang your head! But a helmet and a tricycle go together even indoors.

If your kid hits their head hard enough they might sustain permanent damage and start talking about social justice and diversity or start believing what's written in the newspaper or become a vegetarian or worse.

Ahah, a kebab conspiracy and war on unhealthy white guys, I know it. Is Al Gore investing his carbon fortune in kebab futures?

Is it me or is the world beginning to resemble the world in Sly Stallone's movie The Demolition Man :

It is explained that anything "not good for you" is deemed "bad" and therefore illegal, including alcohol, caffeine, contact sports, non-educational toys, meat, spicy and unhealthy food, table salt and tobacco. Firearms can only be seen in museums. (Wiki)

The somewhat cheesy movie now seems to be increasingly accurate portrayal of our future.

There are no shortage of people who will run your life for you ... if only you will let them.

Regarding this helmet wearing tricycle thing ... don't bother ... we need brain-damaged kids. Other wise no one will grow up willing to run of office.

Regarding this helmet wearing tricycle thing ... don't bother ... we need brain-damaged kids. Other wise no one will grow up willing to run for office.

Did Lindsey Jacobellis choke?

"... unnecessary hot-dog ..."

http://tinyurl.com/yh3k2aw

Like most things this evidences an economic problem: a declining birth rate and pediatricians with time on their hands = mischief.

I was taught to ride a bicycle in a concrete basement ... with pillars ... in the pre-helmet era. As is crystal clear from my comment history it did no permanent damage! Altho' my recent descent into anarcho-capitalism may be a very long-delayed reaction.

It would be interesting to know how many children have DIED from a peanut compared to a tubular hot dog.

My nephew once choked on a wiener. Little tyke turned blue until Grandma dislodged it with her finger. Would seem it did no permanent damage; he is now the father of five and LOVES hot dogs.

What do pediatricians know about kids and hotdogs.
If kids choke on hotdogs then they're dead and they don't need a pediatrician, and if they choke and survive then they don't need a pediatrician in that case either.

Maybe parents need to pay more attention to their children and not neglect them so much?
Instead of taking lamaze classes to give birth maybe parents could take St. John's Ambulance First Aid courses and learn CPR.

Before the Internet the word Spam meant meat spread.
~Abe Froman

Interesting.
I've never used Spam as a spread, just fried it in slabs.
But then I've always cooled it in the fridge, so it slices nicely, before opening the can.
It makes good horderves with sliced hard boiled eggs but Spam is a little salty so I don't eat it much.

Yup ever since I poked my eye out eating a hotdog its nothing but baloney sandwiches for me.I meam isn't baloney the same as a hotdog but in a safer form.

A recent study showed that when researchers were taken out to a field and shot, the number of frivolous studies dropped in direct proportion to the number of researchers shot. Go figure.

Some of you may treat this as a frivolous matter, but in the United States of America we do not.

And this is why we are instituting a new cabinet-level position, the Office of the Hot Dog Czar.

Senator Reid and Speaker Pelosi will be asked to work with their colleagues in order to form legislation that will allow appropriations for the Hot Dog Czar to operate.

We certainly cannot ignore the phallic implications, and as a consequence, we highly recommend that a distinguished Homosexual-American be appointed to this vital post.

Congressional hearings to follow.

I've always felt that all food is dangerous, and there should be a law requiring everything be put into a moulinex and turned into a nice safe liquid before consumption.

We could call it "soup".

Maybe we should legislate that all foods are to be administered intravenously, after all anything you put in your mouth is a potential chocking hazzard.

It's amazing any of us older folk made it past the age of 10.

Have more people died from choking on hot dogs, or from riding in Oldsmobiles driven by Massachusetts senators? Or should that be Massachusettes senators?

I think they must add certain hotdog shaped adult toys to the Choking Hazard List as it seems some women have mistaken them for food and taken to eating them.

http://www.smalldeadanimals.com/archives/012930.html

“it don’t matter just don’t bite it” – Eazy-E

Why do we need paediatricians anyway?

I thought we were all supposed to stop reproducing and die off to save Gaia.

The nose; breathe through the nose.

@b_C

I breath through the mouth, or so the lefties say...

"Yup ever since I poked my eye out eating a hotdog its nothing but baloney sandwiches for me.I meam isn't baloney the same as a hotdog but in a safer form."

That is worth a re-post!!!ROGLMAO

no spam for me, but corned beef from a tin fried with veggies and served on rice is wicked(.:

“There are no such regulations on high risk foods, and children are much more likely to put food in their mouths than a toy.”
Obviously angling for the Nobel prize in medicine with that brilliant discovery. Generally when children eat things other than food, it is time to check them for iron deficiency.

I've never understood why all the most statist-leaning physicians go into pediatrics. My worst rotations were in pediatrics and I suspect that the set of Libertarian pediatricians is empty. I still remember the looks of horror on pediatricians faces when I mentioned that I didn't fasten my seat belt when I drove in the city and would never wear a bike helmet and thought that legislation to enforce such policies was idiotic.

Rather than doing something usefull, like deisgning a simple hotdog extraction tool for those very few children that end up in ER with hot dogs lodged in their airways, the pediatric approach is to ask for yet more statist legislation. Silly me, no pediatrician is going to design a hotdog extraction tool -- if they had that level of technical expertise they'd be surgeons not pediatricians.

Tiger Woods may have the last word...

Hotdogs: The new WMD_og

What about the corndog? Pointy at one end and a choking hazard at the other.

Its not widely known that the corndog is the deadliest of Ninja weapons.

By Jove Indy, you're right. I completely forgot about all the carny food served on sharp sticks. all those deep fried Twinkies and Mars bars ready to poke your eye out. This eating thing has gotten too dangerous, even drinking with a straw is deadly. Too many oranges and apples have met their demise from those willing to prove the rumour of the killer straw.

By Jove Indy, you're right. I completely forgot about all the carny food served on sharp sticks. all those deep fried Twinkies and Mars bars ready to poke your eye out. This eating thing has gotten too dangerous, even drinking with a straw is deadly. Too many oranges and apples have met their demise from those willing to prove the rumour of the killer straw.

Guns don't kill people. wieners do?

http://www.tmz.com/2010/02/23/kansas-city-royals-hotdog-hot-dog-lawsuit-eye-john-coomer-slugger-the-lion/

The banana is doomed...

I remember this one girlin high school that used to bring one in her lunch everyday.

Drove us insane...

What does that Pediatricina want? Soylent Green mush for all?

Hey, Loki! While you're here, could you pop up to the Danny Williams thread and shed some light on that brou-ha, please? The technical stuff, if you wouldn't mind?
http://www.smalldeadanimals.com/archives/013424.html

Maybe I'm being cynical but aren't parents supposed to watch their kids? This shouldn't be a trillion dollar government-sponsored effort. It's elementary. We train dogs as helpers. Surely a carbon-based bipedal life form with opposable thumbs and a neuron in their skull cap can prepare food for small children.
But don't mind me. I'm cynical.

When I was a little stubblejumper, most Birthday parties for kids included playing "Pin the Tail on the Donkey" .....and bobbing for weiners hanging from the ceiling by strings. Where were the PC pediatricians then?

"The banana is doomed..."

I guess that means we're on a "slippery slope".

I hesitate to mention this, since I'm a big fan of the 'parents should use common sense' on this and similar situations. I taught at a school several years ago where about 15 years ago a young child choked to death at school while eating a hot dog. I never did hear details about whether first aid (a la heimlich) was administered, etc. I've had numerous cases where my own kids have choked/had breathing issues, and there are definitely instincts that (should) kick in.

If people have been eating these for 530 years its good enough for me.

from wikipedia:

The city of Vienna traces the lineage of the hot dog to the Wienerwurst or Viennese sausage, the city of Frankfurt to the Frankfurter Wurst, which it claims was invented in the 1480s

If people have been eating these for 530 years its good enough for me.

A much cheaper way of making sure that a piece of wiener doesn't get stuck in your child's throat is to slice the wiener length-ways before putting it in a hotdog bun (I see that Mark Peters has beat me to it on this suggestion, but it bears reapeating).

I can't imagine a hotdog not looking like a wiener dog!

Hmmm ... what kind of dog could a hotdog look like? Maybe a shredded wiener to look like a Bichon Frisé?

On the packaging of shredded Bichon Frisé wieners could appear this message, found on my niece's Asian-made stroller almost 30 years ago:

For safety of world's babies ...

(Babies could be changed to kiddies.)

It's official. I've now heard it all.

Nature always finds a way to thin the herd, be it animal or human.

Have you heard the sound of a man eat his own head Bob c?

Is there any evidence that hotdogs cause more choking accidents than any other food? Maybe if you gulped them down whole, like a seal...

Everything I like is illegal, immoral or fattening.

Look at the number of posts on this topic!
We all seem to have a strange fixation on hot dogs.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.

(Dead silence followed by the sounds of crickets chirping.)

Oddly, today I have a strong to take my life into my own hands and have a hotdog.

If a parent has nothing healthier to give a young child than a hot dog/wiener, a slice of bologna could be substituted.
The same thing: no nutritional value and no taste, without the mustard.

We aren't the only ones having trouble with wieners:

http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/entertainment/breakingnews/espn-suspends-tony-kornheiser-for-comments-he-made-about-hannah-storms-clothing-85089417.html

I was 1st to comment, but mine was not published. It something about gene pool.

These busybodies need to be reminded that their job was OVER when we brought the kids home ..... unless we take them back for a tune up or repairs.

Remember, it was some adhoc group of pediatricians or such who promoted the no spanking nonsense... who lobbied to end corporal punishment and to criminalize parents exercising their prerogatives.

It also was such groups that began demands for bubble wrapping children in all manner of everyday activities.

In my day. kids didn't choke on wieners. We choked on herring bones, and match sticks. My cousin inhaled a crust of bread, and lost a lung. Did he cry and complain? Well, actually he couldn't. He was having trouble making any sounds, for a day or so.

I'm surprised any kids my age survived all those hard candies. Whatever happened to hard candies? When you got one of those in your windpipe, your short life passed before your eyes.

The closest I ever came to choking to death was on a cough drop. Going to sleep with one of those in your mouth is a bad idea. My brother in law choked on a button once.

I really dont remember anyone choking on a wiener. I guess people must have chewed their food, in my day.

If people knew what animal body parts went into weiners they wouldn't worry about choking...but about puking.

A helmet on a kid riding a trike in the basement, huh? We used to ride, standing up, in the box of a pick-up. Nothing quite like the wind in ones hair...regardless of age.

How many years of school and at what cost did it take to produce such stupidity? Whatever the cost, they got ripped off.

The Glengarrian
[....We used to ride, standing up, in the box of a pick-up.]
Yeah and 10-12 year olds went chuck-hunting solo with a rifle.....bought ammo at the store. At high-school all the boys were in cadets (compulsory) and had to "qualify" on the SCHOOL RIFLE RANGE.
Dad left the rifle in the corner and told the kids not to mess with it----and they didn't.
And now they tell us this current crop of snot-pickers are so much smarter than past generations.

Indiana Homez
[....no spam for me, but corned beef from a tin fried with veggies and served on rice is wicked(.:]
And reminds me of those feasts in an un-named glen near some long forgotten hills, somebody, at the time, thought were "strategic" enough to assign a number. Ah....the luxury of hot food.....

They don't call a hot dog a "60 cent missile of death" for nothing!

And I still remember an ill-fated promotion at the Skydome a few years back. Using the same kind of air "gun" that fires rolled T-shirts into crowds, the geniuses (genii?) at the Dome decided to fire hot dogs instead. Unfortunately, the hot dogs disintegrated from the force, and the crowds were blanketed with .. wiener shrapnel.

I hear they also get stuck in other places far removed from the throat!

They don't call a hot dog a "missile of death" for nothing!

We bought some "better quality" hot dogs for a wienie roast at the beach on Sunday..

Garlic flavoured and very tasty but there must have been moucho MSG..

Monday, a BIG headache and almost certainly the hot dog chemistry is to blame.

I seldom eat hot dogs and Monday reminded me why. Will I ever learn?

"If people knew what animal body parts went into weiners..."

At the risk of pointing out the blatantly obvious, every part of an animal is "body part".

They say that 20 billion hot dogs are consumed a year in the US. This would cover 9048 football fields (5" x .75" wieners). In another words, it would cover (I do mean cover) 85% of the Trans-Canada highway (6628 km out of 7821).

There are 1 to 5 deaths per year by wiener (US and Canada). Go lay a wiener on the highway to gain a little perspective.

http://www.stats.org/stories/2010/choking_hot_dog_feb23_10.html

weiner safety, kids choking on "rot dogs" maybe thats why Citizen Dion very daintly consumed his "Chien Chaud" with a knife and fork maybe he had a "choking incident"?

My neighbour's 4 year old son choked to death at his 4th birthday party - both his parents were home as were his 2 older sisters and a group of other 3 - 6 year olds and other adults. Tragic. This incident occured 16 years ago.

It's easy to say there should be parents watching their kid's chew, they were all eating together - it depends on where the piece of hotdog lodges. Often when a child begins to choke, they can actually move the object further down the airway while trying to dislodge it. Both parents tried to clear the airway through every possible means -they called 911 immediately and were talked through every possible way to open the airway - the paramedics arrived and were unable to revive the little guy. When hot dogs are served to children they should be cut in halved or quartered lengthwise. Many people are unaware of this choking hazard. A simple warning or instructions for preparation for younger children on the package could save a young persons life.

The same thing: no nutritional value and no taste, without the mustard.
~gellen

Hotdogs are largely made out of gelatin.
Most people don't get enough gelatin in their diet.

Gelatin contributes to healthy fingernails and hair as well as the slippery white cartilage parts on the end of your bone joints.

The pork based ones have better texture because most gelatin in the food supply comes from pork while the chicken and beef hotdogs have less gelatin simply because they don't, or shouldn't, use the more abundant supply of pork gelatin that exists.

Marshmallows and Jello are made of the same pork gelatin, it's just that they contain a lot of sugar which contributes to empty calories.

Hotdogs are nutritional.

Are we really that stupid that parents don't realize lots of things are a choking hazard? I had one brother, 2 1/2 years younger than me, and cousins all about the same age - so my exposure to really small children was greatly limited.

When I had my first child, I had this thing called "common sense" that told me maybe cutting up food into tiny pieces was a good idea. That, and learning the appropriate lifesaving techniques in the event of choking.

But I guess I'm just stupid. Why go to all that trouble when the government will parent for me?

Kate @ 11:52...
I dunno about you but as far as I'm concerned it doesn't matter how much you boil cows tongue, after seeing the Moma cow licking calf scours off the bum of her baby, that tongue never quite tastes the same. LOL.

Abe at February 23, 2010 11:49 AM

LOL! You can now buy Monty Python-branded Spam.

It doesn't taste any better.

LC Bennett, are you still trying to figure out how the three shells thing works?

WARNING