Once again, it's hard to know where to begin. But I know one thing. In future, if I'm riding the Montreal metro I'll be sure to do so with a unilingual English parrot on my shoulder. The authorities will go after the parrot for violating the language laws and I'll be free to continue on my way.

The nanny state strikes again. It is scary to think what might be next.

every man reading this post has suffered the same excruciating agony of getting his penis caught in his trouser's zipper....and yet....and yet nothing has been done to mitigate the certainty of this traumatic event from happening to future generations of innocent young men....

is this truly a sharing caring guilt free society ....or are we simply and hypocritically allowing prudishness to interfere with the attainment of a truly just society ?

i say back to safe old smooth and variegated sized and hued buttons....

discuss.

Handcuffed? Holding cell? For not hanging on to the rail?

I don't hold the handle on washroom doors. I wait til someone enters or exits then sneak out without touching anything. Just some advice, don't go in just before closing time. You can be in there for a long time before someone opens the door. That's creepy.

Some say use paper towels to open the door. I admit I've done that. But places like Tim Hortons don't have towels, they have this fan thing on the wall. I suppose its to circulate the polluted air in through the place. Thats why I don't eat their donuts.

I've seen toilet paper on the floor by the door. I guess someone couldn't wait til the door opened. I can't bring my self to doing that. I mean, what type of hand had touched that TP previously. I hate to think about it.

Anyway, I guess I'll have to be on the lookout for bathroom handle police in the future. I wouldn't want to be handcuffed in a holding cell. The nearest one in that scenario is very unpleasant indeed.

I propose a "National Stand on your Own Day"...

it's not only the pain(which is excruciating)but the feelings of helplessness and well...foolishness.....as though all the bathos and pathos of the collective other were focused on one neon-lit pantaloon...and the memory is of course unexpungeable from the psyche....i search in vain for a group of similarly scarred fellows to just meet and perhaps share the pain....i'm convinced that may very well be the way back to those halcyon days of carefree well-being...

Genius loves company"...nah. Harper hates people.

DrD, I'll be in Montreal in the next few months. Please DO let me know when this bird-related event will happen. You of course already know that many of the net's urban legend debunkers are parrot owners.

Posted by: p at May 18, 2009 1:43 PM

Oops, sorry, that was from me.

Let's see if I understand this: a child can walk around unattended but if an adult refuses to hold a hand-rail for whatever reason, he is punished.
Yes, I see the logic now, and by logic, I mean bullcrap.

Big Brother has arrived and he speaks French. Poorly.

DrD, another way to confuse the Quebec authorities:

When they arrest you, start laughing. When they say "en Francais" just start laughing like a Frog, "hoh, hoh, hoh."

The nanny state has to invent new crimes so it can collect more money in fees. Margaret Thatcher once said that the problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money. I wonder if that will ever happen to Montreal?

Montreal and Quebec has been using other peoples money for years via transfer payments.They ran out of their own years ago.

Phil, it did once before, remember Drapeau?

"The Olympics can no more lose money than a man can have a baby." Jean Drapeau after Montreal won the right to host the 1976 Olympics. Following the Olympics, the city was left with a debt of $1 billion.

As rival Toronto grew in size and prestige, Drapeau declared: "Let Toronto become Milan. Montreal will always be Rome."

One opponent called him "a combination of Walt Disney and Al Capone."

His critics described most of his projects as circuses. Drapeau replied: "What the masses want are monuments."

http://dic.academic.ru/dic.nsf/enwiki/162154

I don't know about anyone else,but I applaud the arrest of any THIRTY-EIGHT year old student for any crime,real,imagined,or preposterous.Lock this anglo scofflaw up and throw away the key. Perhaps her time and MY money would have been better spent learning a trade,or an occupation,or a job skill,or sillyass domestic laws. Isn't it ironic?

Quebec is starting to look alot like Saudi Arabia, handrail police today moral's police tomorrow.

LOL John, what about velcro instead of buttons?

Mr. Begley,I feel your pain.There are many of us who have suffered this trauma,and who still remain silent(not at the time though).It is time that we unite and make the other gender know that us penile people have experienced the equivalence of an excrutiating childbirth.

Is it time to repeal Godwin's law yet?

dear eponymously 'wally'....

....'naming' or confronting, 'calling out' the beast as you have is very brave....very brave indeed...

and yes Rose....'velcro' makes perfect sense but of course one wants so terribly to deride and flout the beast in a more 'classical' manner(yes yes i'm aware there were no buttons on Caesar's toga but i'm sure there were buttons on every anchorite's hair shirt.)

One thing the Liberals did right for a long time is control information. An Inconvenient Truth for them is now they cannot control it.

International Law - isn't that an oxymoron? or is it just the opposite of whatever George Bush did?

38 year old student of international law - what's so special about that? I just don't get the humorous part. Is it because I actually lived in the apartment building where the tires could very well be stolen from a balcony?

Here is a trivia question: Who invented "hate speech"?

Hints: He's now resting in the PET Cemetery.
He was the Lord High Commissar of the "Cohen Censorship Committee".
He was a Liberal MP.
...-

Ezra says:

"I haven't quite figured it out, but I think it goes back to an article I discovered when I was reading about the CJC's antics in the Toronto Star archives I came across this article by Mark MacGuigan, then a law professor, soon to be a Liberal MP. MacGuigan was part of the Cohen Censorship Committee that used the CJC's Nazi scheme as a pretext to recommend inventing new "crimes" that would abridge our ancient freedom of speech. MacGuigan's whole article is an exercise in political trickery, including a laughable appeal to psychological arguments that we ought to outlaw "hate", because they could lead to certain illegal "attitudes" -- as if any emotion could be criminalized.

Read the whole thing. But look at these paragraphs in particular:
MacGuigan admits that "hate speech" is a novel concept never before accepted in our common law tradition. He -- and the CJC -- just plain made it up, based on their psychobabble theory that "man's personality is formed by his primary group membership". Oh, really? So all Jews think alike; blacks think alike; gays think alike, etc.?"
http://ezralevant.com/
...-

More PET/MacGuigan trivia: >>> "he had gotten his girls to check the machines to make sure they worked by typing dummy numbers inside."

IOW, it's Who counts the votes as Lenin/Stalin said.

"The Untold Story of Leonard Braithwaite"

"When John Armstrong at his house heard we had lost, he said, “No, no, no. We should be winning.”

Well, me and three other fellows jumped in one of their cars and went over to the Returning Officer’s house.

John Armstrong said, “It’s impossible. How can this be?” So the Returning Officer said, “I’ll check. And he checked the tapes. And lo and behold, one of the tapes, instead of starting out fresh, started off with 1000 votes for the Conservative candidate.

According to the Returning Officer, he had gotten his girls to check the machines to make sure they worked by typing dummy numbers inside. He said just by chance, one of them left a thousand votes in, not for me, but the Conservative candidate. This was one of the ways they cheated. I ended up winning by over 500 votes. I ran again in ’67, ’71 and lost in ’75 to the New Democratic Party candidate Ed Philip by 1,256 votes."
http://www.blackhistorysociety.ca/Braithwaite-liberalsPolitics.htm

" I just don't get the humorous part. Is it because I actually lived in the apartment building where the tires could very well be stolen from a balcony?"

Posted by: Aaron at May 18, 2009 4:39 PM Yes Aaron,that is why you don't get it. The rest of us,who do get it, are the ones who steal your tires.Sometimes,just for kicks,we only pretend to pick up our dog's poop too.

“No, no, no. We should be winning.”

That's the ultimate slap to the face for voters. This is deplorable, disgusting and clear evidence that many people (the usual suspects) are scumbags more interested in their own career than they are in acting as responsible leaders.

Trust me in a few years you will be mandated to wear a breather so they can tax every breath you take.

Many thanks for the laugh, DrD.

(Have you thought of contacting the Lieberals or the Obamatons? Diversionary tactics are a specialty of theirs.)

Cheers.

a man whom gits things caught in the zipper should have been born Scott free!!!

Trust me in a few years you will be mandated to wear a breather so they can tax every breath you take.

Posted by: Revnant Dream

End quote:==========================

As long as it's not the state mandating I start wearing a bra, give me liberty or give me death.

We can laugh and joke but in the end they'll enslave us and we shall become wards of the state we need to start shoving the snivel servants who enact these marxist laws into a closet and lock it.

"""who enact these marxist laws into a closet and lock it."""

burn it!!!!

"What do they do to the people who have no hands?"

Law enforcement in Montrealistan should not have time to worry about people who don't hold handrails in the subway. They should be worrying about this:
http://www.proudtobecanadian.ca/blog/index/writergroup/comments/making_canadian_jihadis/

Evil, racist, money-transfer sucking, probably measures letters on anglo signs Quebec cop notices woman bent over looking for change, so asks her to be careful and to hold on to the handrail. Woman doesn't hear or just ignores him, so the request gets repeated. Of course it was impossible for her to say "Sorry, you're right!" After another request, the lady becomes standoffish and basically tells him where to go. Publicly. Now, I really don't think the argument is about holding on the handrail, but confronting authority.

Fiscally responsible, salt of the earth type of guy, reasonable Winnipeg (Regina, Edmonton) cop notices (Native?) teenager walking in the middle of the road and asks him to move to the sidewalk. Teenager doesn't hear or just ignores him, so the request gets repeated. Of course it was impossible for him to say "Sorry, you're right!" After another request, the teenager becomes standoffish and basically tells him where to go. Publicly. Teenager gets a ticket for original offense and another one for resisting. Story doesn't make news. Some SDA readers comment about kid’s attitudes, today's lack of respect for authority and cops to afraid to do anything about it.

Right. Because walking in the middle of the street and standing on an escalator are reasonably comparable.

/face_palm

Let's see now.. in my four years at Upper Canada College, where the usual scene at 1:28 pm was a bunch of boys running madly through the halls whilst tieing their ties (with a load of books under their arms at the same time) in order to make their 1:30 classes, I can't remember a single cravat-related incident. In engineering terms, that's just a bit shy of a million boy-tie days without an accident. Pardon me while I scratch my head and wonder "WTF?!".

Cops can be bullies sometimes but one also never really gets the full rundown of events from the news media, e. g., Rodney King.

They had a young woman all over the news here a couple of years ago because a caucasian officer had apparently called her several racist monikers of the most vile type during a traffic stop. She had sped off running over his foot in the meantime. All the usual racial mavens emerged from the ooze to spew their Holden-esque views of white America. Later, the tapes all indicated he had been the height of civility while she was actually spewing all sorts of foul expletives. The local media made a big deal out of the situation because they usually only have traffic accidents and garage fires to cover and her employer is one of the larger in town.

"His critics described most of his projects as circuses. Drapeau replied: 'What the masses want are monuments.'"

I wonder if he had read Ayn Rand's "The Monument Builders", in which she rips socialists for desiring unearned prestige?