June 30, 2008

Tony Blair's Britain

Where the foxes caper unmolested, the government packs your school lunch, and today from the Ministry of Naughty Holes;

Officers collected information from businesses, obtained samples of fish and chips, measured salt content and ‘carried out experiments to determine how the problem of excessive salt being dispensed could be overcome by design’.

They decided that the five-hole pots would reduce the amount of salt being used by more than 60 per cent yet give a ‘visually acceptable sprinkling’ that would satisfy the customer.

The council commissioned Drywite Ltd – a catering equipment company based in the West Midlands – to make five-hole shakers and bought 1,000 of them at a cost of £2,000, giving them away to fast-food outlets in their areas.

Drywite confirms that it has since received orders for the shakers from at least five other councils, including Rochdale Borough in Greater Manchester.

Posted by Kate at June 30, 2008 10:46 AM

Monty Python was a COMEDY show, not a blueprint for running a country.

Posted by: sdc at June 30, 2008 11:24 AM

If the fast-food vendors had any sense, they politely thanked the busy-bodies, then tossed the two-pound salt cellar in a drawer.

Never mess with your customer base.

Posted by: mojo at June 30, 2008 11:28 AM

tell that to the CBC!
Rick Mercer Report
22 Minutes
Air Farce (R.I.P.)
The National
The Fifth Estate
et al

Posted by: puddin and pie at June 30, 2008 11:32 AM

Hilarious on so many levels (beyond the obvious one of excessive paternalism) not least being government's static view of human behaviour, a mistake even highly-educated economists and market prognosticians make, who presume that while one factor changes the others will remain the same.

Half the holes? No problem, shake twice as long or in practice shake to taste!

Ah, the infite potential of human adaptability esp. at the prospect of making fools of bureaucrats.

Posted by: Me No Dhimmi at June 30, 2008 11:34 AM

Lack of sufficient holes in the FREE salt cellars can be fixed with a drill and a few moments work.

Fixing the obviously broken town council may be more of a challenge, but nothing that can't be put right with an enormous tax cut.

Posted by: The Phantom at June 30, 2008 11:35 AM

When I'm dictator I'll allow people to use as much salt as they want. But any vinegar other than malt vinegar will be a hanging offence. As it should be.

Posted by: Mississauga Matt at June 30, 2008 11:35 AM

I personally prefer the little paper packets of salt we are given here in North America. For hard core salt users like myself, you can just skip the fish and chips, and lay the salt out in lines for direct consumption.

(Mmmm. breakfast olives...)

Posted by: Kate at June 30, 2008 11:40 AM

"...lay the salt out in lines for direct consumption."


Posted by: The Phantom at June 30, 2008 11:43 AM

Kate, always saw you as "salt of the earth".

Posted by: Me No Dhimmi at June 30, 2008 11:47 AM

Proof positive that a lot of British bureaucrats aren't worth their salarium.

Posted by: Dave in Pa. at June 30, 2008 11:51 AM

Maintaining the salty dialogue about the Nanny State...

A car seller
is in more trouble than a salt cellar.

Posted by: Drained Brain at June 30, 2008 11:53 AM

Jolly old Britain, Merry old England and all that, may now be a Socialist state but here in Ontario we have the same things going on. Government is taking care of us, they know what's best.

Posted by: Liz J at June 30, 2008 12:03 PM

Half the holes? No problem, shake twice as long or in practice shake to taste!

-me no dhimmi

Until they make shaking it more than 3 times illegal...

and believe me this day is coming.

Posted by: Friend of USA at June 30, 2008 12:13 PM

"Until they make shaking it more than 3 times illegal..."

"We are talking about salt shakers right?" he asked, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Posted by: Texas Canuck at June 30, 2008 12:23 PM

The Brits have proven that it isn't the tanks rolling up to your lawn and ramming the front door down as the starting point of your sorry trip to the Gulag, it's the death by a thousand paper cuts delivered by mindless repugnant little bureaucratic weasels that end life as you know it.

One last time, to any Brits reading this, get off of your knees, pound salt licks into council members lawns, spray paint spy cameras, overload your dumpsters, have a smoke out at the neighborhood pub, eat dessert first, refuse to floss, anything, please, the possibilities for civil disobedience in Britain are at serious cartoon levels now. It's wearing us down over here trying to keep abreast of what your wardens are permitting you from day to day.

Posted by: penny at June 30, 2008 12:24 PM

I sometimes unscrew the lid to get more grated parmesan on my spaghetti.

Will the authorities be coming after me?

Posted by: Richard Ball at June 30, 2008 12:30 PM

They're worried about the salt when the product it's being sprinkled on is deep-fried?

Posted by: Shaken at June 30, 2008 12:36 PM

I just can' t find the humor in stuff like this anymore.

The powers that be in Ontario live and breath this kind of insanity, and the population pretends to ignore it. All the while claiming they are strong free individuals ......... that walk on four legs, aren't very bright,and seem to enjoy a good shearing.

Posted by: Mugs at June 30, 2008 12:44 PM

For some reason the word "Toronto" popped into my head, I can't imagine why.

Posted by: tom at June 30, 2008 12:49 PM

Isnt the question really, what does the Koran say on this point?

Posted by: Stephen at June 30, 2008 1:08 PM

Monty Python becomes reality.

Posted by: Aaron at June 30, 2008 1:08 PM

how about half the aholes.

Posted by: old white guy at June 30, 2008 2:46 PM

Pssst, hey guvn'r, for a few quid I can let you into the back room where we have the unregistered shakers. Right decent there are. Made in a monastary by mute Brothers of the Irish Potato. I believe they are called Chip Monks. /rimshot

Posted by: Texas Canuck at June 30, 2008 3:50 PM

The poor Brits, it's as if Nanny has gone bonkers and no one knows what to do with her. Might I suggest putting your goberment in the Nut House, or at the very least elect Conservatives to lead you off the path of PCed oppression.

Talk about a Fascist Nation.

Posted by: Rose at June 30, 2008 5:21 PM

...and though the holes were rather small, they had to count them all...

Posted by: A Storm is coming at June 30, 2008 5:45 PM

Beautiful comprise!!!! Instead of no holes ... they have 5.

Coming soon to Canada ... maybe empty packets here and charge for them? A revenue neutral national salt tax?

Posted by: ural at June 30, 2008 10:18 PM

dat his not fair . suds catch chew juan is a major supplier of salt too.

Posted by: cal2 at July 1, 2008 10:17 AM

I wish so much that our bulldog fighting spirit were alive and well in this once Great Britain. We're all sick of this rotten pc government but dare not speak out. I would be the first in line to march for our lost freedom. If only. I shall continue to take the top of the salt, do what I like, say what I like in private company, as does everyone else, except the government can't hear, etc.

Posted by: Bee at July 1, 2008 10:38 AM