College education doesn't seem to have helped the ideological myopia on display here.

Africans have been victimized by their own leadership for generations....exactly WHO do these buffoons think is exploiting African resources and uneducated/enslaved labor?...it is the war-lord political culture of Africa which holds back education and real democratic reform....until you cut the money off to the war lords exploiting their own people and resources, the status quo continues.

But no to the whiney leftard hand wringers it's always the western corporations....everything is the fault of capitalism....get out more lefty and see the world without dogmatic blinders on.

Ummm, this is satire from The Onion.

I think you may be taking it a little seriously. It's the Onion, you know, the satire newspaper.

Where can I get me some Fisher Price mining tools?

What....you think they're joking? ;-)

I agree WL, they are not joking, and that's the scary part.

But, you know, Rev. Sharpton should get down on his knees and thank the White Folks for bringing their ancesters over the great pond; for if not, they would have been stuck in that quagmire of a country; Africa.
,

Canada has lots of trees, lets create a stick offset credit system .

I love the Onion. they do a great job.

The white former mayor of Detroit was funny.

...for a second there, I thought they were joking.

;-)

So tell me Jon and James.If they are so well off,why does the West keep sending them billions of dollars? Sometimes satire hits closer to the truth then you may wish to see.

Shhhhh, "Nerf economy" ,for the toddlers, Nanny knows best.

Countries such as Zimbabwe are doing great, they're just going through a temporary bad spell (we call it overpopulation.)

But the leader is addressing that problem.

New Barbie on the market, Comes with no shoes, no clothes, no make-up, no house, no farm, no food ....

It's called Zimbarbie.

This is what the Onion does best. They take prevailing attitudes and ramp them up to 10 in order to point out the absurdity of the positions.

They did a great bit in 2000 during the "Florida Election Crisis". Reporting on tanks in the streets and Clinton holding power via the armed forces.

I love the comment about the stick market in a freefall. Jeez, these guy's are funny.

And correct.

"...that's going to take away what it means to be inherently african."

Oh, my. It's telling when the only way to clue in a broad segment of society is to hit them upside the head with a metaphorical brick.

The problems of Africa have nothing to do with the actions of Africans themselves and everything to do with racism and the legacy of colonialism. Send more money now!

If you tolerate the commercials, you eventually get to a menu with more clips. Even better than the Africa one is the one about how even Al Qaeda is frustrated by the delays in rebuilding the WTC replacement tower. Great script and editing. Hilarious.

Money doesn't solve poverty.

Mystery Meat writes for the Onion. :)

sticks, what sticks?

Now that's just funny, right there!

Africa has come a long way since its first European colonization’s in the 15th century. Africans had previously existed as a collection of stone aged cultures (many even without stone). With only 700 years of European influence and earlier Mediterranean Iron Age influences in North Africa, they have throughout this period been able to learn how to use many of the European utensils and modern tools. To us this seems a remarkable progress considering the obvious lack of inventiveness and engineering capacity of the population; progress is evident with the robust population growths in most modern African communities. Western culture should be proud of leading the way for the progress in Africa over the centuries, but should now also consider taking a step back , allowing Africa to grow or fail on its own. Displaced Africans in the Americas and Europe should be strongly encouraged to take their skill sets acquired abroad and now return to their homelands to lead their people, to yet a better future. The world should consider pulling out of Africa and declaring it a global sanctuary for the next 100 years. Nothing should go in and nothing should leave, allowing Africa to naturally evolve at it’s own pace. This would allow Africans the time to develop and solve their own cultural issues along with new technologies of their own design based on what colonization had provided. These measures would allow the Africans to finally be a proud society, eventually standing tall on their own merits.

a schtick is a schtick and dats a good schtick!

Take all those eco-wackos and FEED THEM TO THE LIONS and the SECRATARY BIRDS

I lived in Zambia for 3 years back in the 1960s. I now live in Canada. I have visited Zambia and the DRC twice in the past 6 years. I found the onion piece terrible, racist, condescending and of course a complete lie. That is not satire and it was totally not funny.

Africa is a race?

"... and of course a complete lie."

So this is a good time to invest in sticks? My broker will hear about this. I divested myself of the sticks last year, and thanks to your insider information, I can buy low and sell high.

While not as elegant, this is the same thing as a Modest Proposal, in which the way to fix the problem is highlighted as the worst thing possible to do.

Africa's economy is in a shambles, civil war everywhere you look, corrupt governments as far as the eye can see. What this satire does is say "status quo is untenable".

The only countries where civil war is underway now is the NE of the DRC. The other is in Sudan but that is a pogrom of Moslems against black Africans.

As for corruption look no further than the Liberals in Canada, George Galloway in the UK, Chirac in France.

ROBERT MUGABE is awar crinimal when soon can we bring him in and HANG HIM?

Tranio: So then then if civil war & corruption is not Africas problem, what is it?

In a nutshell it is the lack of an educated middle class. All chiefs and serfs until 40 years ago. Rather like the First Nations here in Canada.

Tranio,

Ah, then the status quo is fine, then. The point of the satire is that things are pretty bad in Africa, and something must be done. Thanks to you, I now know that his is a complete lie. Things are awesome there, and nothing need be changed.

There is no status quo because things are evolving and improving. In 1965 in Ndola Zambia there were just 2 Zambian university graduates, now there must be hundreds if not thousands. Sure most of the expats have left but Zambia is doing it on their own now and succeeding.
What exactly must be done? Africa is way better off than it was 10 years ago, except Zimbabwe and Darfur.

Why don't they do a satire on the first nations of Canada? All you priggish Canadians who look down on Africa and think you are better than them, should look in you own backyard.