What we need is LIberal/Dipper Politician Flatulence Mitigation Program.

Just think of how much of the environment could be saved if Taliban Jack could be zippered ??

Think about if Al Gore was corked ??

Woooo Hooooo . . . save the planet

What we need is LIberal/Dipper Politician Flatulence Mitigation Program.

Exactly, considering the amount of BS spread by these two groups, a tax on same would repay the debt this year

Meh. This caption is too easy...

Start a Canadian Bean Board - a monopsony seller of baked beans to control "gas".

In this manner if anyone sells "gas" to the Americans - slap em in jail.

And then Jack Layton could truly call it " Big Ass Companies"...

Since all ungulates would produce roughly the same effect can we expect the Kyoto crowd to award a posthumous "Life-time environmental protection acheivement award" to Buffalo Bill?

Gonna boost my investment bucks in Block Drugs - makers of "Beano"

I could out PFFFFtttttt any limey bovine any day.
My wife wears earplugs and uses a respirator to bed every night so life is still great!

This doesn't apply to the ladies because as we all know they never pass wind or so I'm told...

That would have as much effect as telling my husband to quit passing gas. Hasn't worked yet.

Within the parameters of Kyoto, non-conformer’s will need to purchase flatulence credits from France, Germany and Russia. This could be called a flat tax.
Nationally, we will initiate a tax on farts with a grandfather clause exempting old farts, or any farts produced in Ontario and Quebec.

Somebody convince me that Monty Python has NOT taken over control of Britain.

Meh. This caption is too easy...

Posted by: Ace

Oh come on, no moping.
I bet you could do better than this;
-------------------------------------------------
"Without specifying a "fart tax", he will say that the farming industry of 2020 will play a key role in reducing greenhouse gas emissions.
Mr Miliband will say these can be reduced significantly by feeding cattle different food blah, blah blah"

Or we could make lawyers illegal.
------------------------------------------------
See

Ace is a card or he isn't.

D'ya think this Anti Flatulence deal could somehow be re-jigged to apply to the "mental phhhhfffft" and the pomposity of verbosity emanating from the minds(?) of some of the allegedly "progressive" blogsters?

Now here is where the petroliun industry can help agriculture. By adapting flaring technology we could consceiveably burn off the methane and light the fields up at night at the same time. Only downside is cowboys would have to start to wear nomex chaps.

I see a business opportunity here. Methane powered vehicles. Just not sure how many cows per horsepower or cows per mile and haven't quite thought through how to strap them to the vehicle yet. Help me out here.

Next thing will be banning Mel Brook's "Blazing Saddles" for excessive portrayal of methane production.

I dont think mad cow disease is the problem.
appears to be a mad civil service.

Trading in fart credits, anyone?

If any of you can't see where this is heading , I'll make it crystal clear . Learn this phrase well ( or be prepared to pay ) , "...it wasn't me , honest "

...ho camonie!

I'd go broke if I had to pay a FST!

...dang pickled onions...

Blame the dog......

As funny as it is, methane has 20 times the heat trapping properties that C02 does and it has gone up faster. IF it is GHG that are causing GW, a big IF, then the Al Gore crowd is chasing the wrong gas with C02.

Control methane emissions, so ban burritos.

Great idea marshall...when we take a drive in the country we just pull up to Bessie and say 'fill 'er up'....
Jack Layton and Godrey are full of toxins too!Who knew!!! (ctv news)

marshall..."Just not sure how many cows per horsepower or cows per mile"

Egad! Shades of "Far Side"

So, who tests the cows, and how?

tomax7 Maybe you could work a deal with shaken. (The birth of fart credit trading.)

There is something missing here.COWS DONT FART! Horses fart,people fart but cows dont.Its because of their four stomachs.This shows the total ignorance of some of the civil servants in charge.

I just want to hear S. Dion say "Bovine Flatulence"

This whole topic is asinine.

Are they serious??? My dad is a retired dairy farmer--wait till he hears about this.

"So, who tests the cows, and how?"
Better get in Mike from the Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs. Last night he was up to his elbows in ahhhh, well, he was helping mrs horse to become mommy horse. I realize it is not a biggy for a lot of folks out west or in rural Canader but I'm sure the phone was ringing in GTO. (they fuzzed out parts if you can believe it)

Afterthought: Do they have the Discovery Channel up in Canada?

Second afterthought: Why has George Bush not been blamed yet? Lefties are slipping.

Unlike, I guess, everyone on here, I think that the steps that the UK are proposing to take are the right ones.

Everyone one of the following steps, listed in the article, should be taken here as well:
"Mr Miliband will say these can be reduced significantly by feeding cattle different food, breeding them to live longer and getting farms to generate "biogas" from animal waste."

These concentrate mostly on the dairy industry than the beef industry. Which is right as, dairy cows produce more methane and as dairy cows are generally in a barm allowing the waste to more easily be collected and used.
Changing what the cows are fed is relatively easy. Breeding them to live longer also is possible. I grew up on a dairy farm, when I was young our cows used to live to be at least 10 - 12 years old. When I just visited the same farm, there was not a cow in the barn that had reached the age of six. They are bred to produce so much milk, and deliver bigger and bigger calves that they just give out at very young ages so often today. Generating energy from waste is a no brainer.

spike 1 said "There is something missing here.COWS DONT FART! Horses fart,people fart but cows dont.Its because of their four stomachs.This shows the total ignorance of some of the civil servants in charge."

Cows produce a ridiculous amount of methane - estimated to be about 400 quarts per cow per day. That most of it comes from burps is irrelevant. Their are about 1.2 Billion cows in the world (which is too many, unneccesary, and a brutal strain on the environment), which means a whole lot of methane.

Stephen said "As funny as it is, methane has 20 times the heat trapping properties that C02 does and it has gone up faster. IF it is GHG that are causing GW, a big IF, then the Al Gore crowd is chasing the wrong gas with C02."

1) It is not a big IF if GHGs are causing warming, the scientific consensus is overwhelming.

2) Gore talks about methane emissions.

3) CO2 emissions remain in the atmosphere for more than 100 hundred years. Methane emissions remain in the atmosphere for only about a decade. A KG of methane will produce more warming than a KG of CO2, but CO2 emissions outnumber methane by at least 100 times. Scientists are right to concentrate on CO2 more than methane, but they should and do concentrate on both.

Whoops...d'ya think some of us here were getting a little silly? Some of here think taking control of everything, including farts is a little silly!

"That most of it comes from burps is irrelevant"

Gads! Cows fart through their mouths. Glad I'm not a cow dentist...

So, does Buffalo Bill still get an "Environmentalist Ahead of his Time" award?

"1) It is not a big IF if GHGs are causing warming, the scientific consensus is overwhelming."

Yeah....see, when NOAA can be 95% wrong in their prediction of the past hurricane season, I think it might be a bit early to start claiming we can predict future climate trends.

"2) Gore produces methane emissions."

There, fixed that for ya...

Waywardson says:"the scientific consensus is overwhelming". There is a petition in circulation at the Oregon Institute of Science with (http://www.oism.org/pproject/s33p37.htm) over 17,000 Scientists signatures that states:"There is no convincing scientific evidence that human release of carbon dioxide, methane, or other greenhouse gasses is causing or will, in the foreseeable future, cause catastrophic heating of the Earth's atmosphere and disruption of the Earth's climate. Moreover, there is substantial scientific evidence that increases in atmospheric carbon dioxide produce many beneficial effects upon the natural plant and animal environments of the Earth."
In comparison Al Gore found 4 out of 100 Scientist approached willing to endorse his movie. A show of hands or a winning a popularity contest is not science no matter how hard the self righteous lefties scream.

Deliberate attempt to destroy farmers in Britain so that the business can be moved to third-world. Will be interesting to see what happens next to Blair. I have to think he is more hated than G.W.B. but then again Britain is slowly sliding into the fire anyways.

This is not new, really. I had heard that under the Liberals, Agriculture Canada has a program to investigate how to reduce farting in cows. I think these people have all gone off the deep end. The absurdity of it is beyond belief.

This isn't such a big problem. Just position the cattle correctly and their gas can be harnessed to power a new generation of WIND mills. Things should just about balance out...

Sounds like the british have fallen for this global warming stuff hook line and stinker..er,.. I mean sinker.

"Deliberate attempt to destroy farmers in Britain so that the business can be moved to third-world. Will be interesting to see what happens next to Blair. I have to think he is more hated than G.W.B. but then again Britain is slowly sliding into the fire anyways."

I had the pleasure of listening to many relatives of mine (all of whom are dairy farmers) discussing this very issue over the holidays. I think that you will find that most farmers, being the intelligent hard working lot, that they are, are probably far ahead of the government on this issue (as well as most others). They recognize that their dairy cows produce methane, they recognize that methane is an issue, they see it as both a responsibility and a opportunity.

While they would not react kindly to being told that their industry is THE problem, they do recognize that their industry contributes to the problem. The dairy industry has changed so much in the last 20 years it is barely recognizable, so they are not afraid of change. Currently those farmers, and there are many, who want to reduce their methane emissions face many obstacles, road blocks and financial issues. The government recognizing that methane from farm animals is an issue (as the government in the UK has done) would hopefully help reduce those problems and issues that farmers currently face.

Wayward Son

BS Do you really believe anyone with even half a brain would believe what you just said?

Albertaman said: "There is a petition in circulation at the Oregon Institute of Science with (http://www.oism.org/pproject/s33p37.htm) over 17,000 Scientists signatures that states:"

Yeah, that is a great petition which:

1) was started in 1998 (so it has 8 years of signatures).
2) anyone can sign, and fake signatures abound such as Michael J. Fox and the Spice Girls.
3) has tons of duplicate names.
4) Until a short time ago you could still sign up over the internet. At least now you have to physcially send mail.
5) describes the signatories as "scientists" despite the fact that it: does not require signatories to have a degree, or a degree in a scientific field.
6) only actually has 2100 signatures who have actually identified themselves as scientists - mostly physicists - and has almost no signatures from anyone is a climate science.
7) Scientific America could only find evidence that a tiny percentage of those saying that they had a PhD actually had one.
8) made it look like the petition had connections to and approval from the National Accademy of Sciences (which was outraged by that).

If you want a good laugh look up what the Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine is.

Western Canadian, you can believe what ever you want.

If you want to believe that this is deliberate attempt to destroy farms in Britain and move business to the third world then go right ahead.

If it is impossible for you to believe that many farmers are intelligent enough to recognize that the cows that they have spent most of their lives raising and caring for produce methane, and methane being a ghg contributes towards global warming (something that most people and therefore most farmers believe is happening). Most farmers will have little problem making that connection. After making that connection it only stands to reason that many of them would look at it and say "ok, now what can be done about it." If you think that farmers are too stupid that come to that conclusion, then so be it.

Wow. The thread goes from fart jokes to someone trying to seriously discuss cow farts/burps/whatever.

An SDA first! (one hopes)

hi

Hey Wayward if you think that's funny, the lead push for climate change is from a genetic engineer.

Yeah, now there's an "expert" on climate.

this wayward fool sure seems to be either A or maybe lbernia or maybe that robert dork?

I wonder if he realizes that baffling with bullshit doesnt work here?

verbal diarrhea, runs rampant in the lib left social engineering crowd, how the hell can we cure that?

Dunno about cattle, but my ex-wife owned a small Boston terrier who could clear out a fairly large room. What an amazingly intense, noxious stench from such a tiny critter! :-)

I see a brilliant opportunity for politicians, especially those from the left, to cure Canada of the cow fart problem:

They should simply inhale them. Apply a liplock to the cow posterior, which they are no doubt used to; take a deep inhaling breath. Hold it in, boys and girls . . . hold, hold . . . think of Kyoto -- that's it! We're all saved!

Kate...

Thank you for this post.

Althought the comments are silly, the issue will be a serious one for cattle producers in Canada in one or two years. The gov will attempt to control methane emissions.

Itr the issue is already somewhat serious, we are simply making light...y'know having fun and stuff. maybe loosen your bowtie and smile

Wayward son:

1) It is not a big IF if GHGs are causing warming, the scientific consensus is overwhelming.

GHGs don't cause warming, if they did, we wouldn't need natural gas to heat our homes in the winter, we could use GHGs. The source of all energy and warmth is the sun, which has been pumping out more energy than normal over the past hundred years. Strange that most of the global average temperature increase of .8 degrees F over the last hundred years happened before 1940, while the major part of the carbon dioxide increase of the last hundred years happened after 1960. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Scientific fact is NEVER determined by a consensus. The Flat Earth Society maintains they have reached a "scientific consensus" that the earth is flat. That doesn't mean it's a "scientific fact".

Dairy farmers will face bureaucratic restrictions on the number of dairy cows they can have. Next it will be beef, hogs and chickens, then the farmers that raise crops (start thinking food) will be told they can only plant one tenth of their OWN LAND (there is NO private property rights in our Charter of Rights and Freedoms). Just one little step now, followed by more steps, all in the name of "Sustainable Development", we must preserve the nutrients in the ground for future generations. Of course we'll be feeding a grossly overweight and bottomless UN bureaucracy which is NOT subject to audit according to standard UN procedures. Just imagine what will happen to the free market system of supply and demand, or does the UN plan on rationing the entire world.

Do a google search for Maurice Strong (architect of Kyoto) and see what he has planned for not only your future, but your children and grandchildren.

"Somebody convince me that Monty Python has NOT taken over control of Britain."

"Deliberate attempt to destroy farmers in Britain"

Before the last round of foot-and-mouth disease, the British agriculture department was known as the Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food (MAFF) - or more commonly amongst its detractors as the "Maffia."

After the foot-and-mouth affair there was a quick restructuring. To hide the skeletons and disrupt corporate knowledge and continuity, the MAFF disappeared almost overnight* to be replaced by the "new and improved" Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA).

You should know that DEFRA is now satirically known as the "Department for the Elimination of Farming and Rural Affairs."

On a related note, the UK Department for Trade and Industry is often refered to as the "Department for Timidity and Inaction."

Any Pythonesque "Ministry of Silly Walks" would have long ago been restructured by New Labour into something like "Department for Irregular Perambulation."

* I do not joke. I walk by the building in Whitehall almost every day. DEFRA signs were applied overnight to cover the MAFF ones.

How did "climate scientists" gain so much respect anyway? Aren't they just glorified weathermen? They can't predict the weather for next month, next week or this afternoon and suddenly everybody believes their 20 year projections.

Something I've never heard in the debate about GHGs is if they are such a big heat reflector, shouldn't it work both ways? Aren't they reflecting heat AWAY from earth too?

The chief byproduct of Dione politics is heavy banks of methane from all the rotting fecial matter he spews...tax him according to Kyoto guidelines ...maybe he'll work for free or stop emitting "methane"....but for a Lieberal that is asking for an unnatural catharsis.

Better yet send him of to profiteer in China like his mentor Moe Strong.

Does this mean that Grandfathers will be banned from the "pull my finger" routine? Is that not a right of passage for most kids?

Will dogs be next? Our dog can out-fart a cow anyday. She knows the perfect way to get the couch to herself.

And the daycare kids after the holidays...You have not smelled anything until you are in a room with a bunch of little kids after they have indulged on rich and junky foods for several days.

And do not get me started about husbands...

So really...I think cows are the least of our problems.

...i still picture these lab assistants running around in a cow pasture with their pristine white smocks and big garbage bags trying to capture a cow fart, all the while trying to not slip in a cow pattie...

...then someone yells to them the methane really comes from the other end when the cows belch.

Lynn: "This whole topic is asinine."

...not really, ok...well it more bovine...