small dead animals: "But Doctor, How Do I Insert These?"

February 15, 2006

"But Doctor, How Do I Insert These?"

"Tupic said he had no idea there were things like Viagra available but agreed that in future he will try pills before he takes any more chances with pencils."

Posted by Kate at February 15, 2006 11:38 PM

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Comments

...I hope they told him the proper way to take pills.

Posted by: Doogie at February 15, 2006 11:44 PM

Just how ugly was this "new lover"??? Sounds like waaayyyy over a 40 pounder!!!

Posted by: Justthinkin at February 15, 2006 11:50 PM

Everyone loves a woody but this is just nuts.

Posted by: JoeB at February 15, 2006 11:55 PM

You're way over the top with reprinting this! Off with her head!...er..sorry about that, I've been reading too much Middle Eastern response to satire.

Posted by: Pat at February 16, 2006 12:23 AM

Pencil pusher.

Posted by: Bernie at February 16, 2006 12:28 AM

just to let you know kate...this is not a new idea...working in psych as a nurse 25 years ago i had a man who did the same thing only with an artists brush...people do insert interesting things into various orifices much to the amazement of those involved...the patient required surgery to remove the offending item and therapy for the bizarre thoughts...

Posted by: ntnrs at February 16, 2006 12:29 AM

Kate: That put a smile on my face..

Posted by: smile at February 16, 2006 12:38 AM

C'mon Doc, get the led out....

Posted by: Platty at February 16, 2006 12:39 AM

Platty! that was worse than bad! An ER nurse I used to know sent me into hysterics with the story of a woman and a banana. She peeled it first.

It boggles the mind.

Posted by: Candace at February 16, 2006 12:53 AM

Technically, wouldn't SHE be the one in hysterics?

Posted by: Kelvin at February 16, 2006 1:00 AM

She must have really been something to write home about. :))

Posted by: Joe Canuck at February 16, 2006 2:49 AM

Can't touch this.

Posted by: TonyGuitar at February 16, 2006 4:28 AM

...i hope they were using 2B pencils, they are soft tipped...

Posted by: tomax at February 16, 2006 4:37 AM

I guess he could not only write his name in the snow, he could... Oh never mind.

Posted by: Largs at February 16, 2006 6:30 AM

"...i hope they were using 2B pencils, they are soft tipped..."

I don't think he wanted a soft tip.

Does this mean he has a pencil-is instead of a pen-is?

Posted by: DC In YOW at February 16, 2006 7:02 AM

This gives new meaning to the term "pencil dick".

Posted by: Jerry Whalen at February 16, 2006 7:19 AM

... and the funniest part is that in some Slavic languages "Tupic" is dangerously close to "stupid". I'm not kidding.

Posted by: Gabriel at February 16, 2006 8:05 AM

all i can say is "what an idiot"

Posted by: FRP at February 16, 2006 8:22 AM

Hey Candace,

I heard that same story, and one of my friends quipped:

"Gee, if she had a yeast infection, she could
have made banana bread"....

We nearly keeled over right there....

Jim

Posted by: JCL at February 16, 2006 9:18 AM

Better round up the usual suspects.
Bugs, Sylvester, Popeye

Posted by: Cal at February 16, 2006 9:37 AM

I don't know about the other guys, but as I read the story and read the comments, my knees instinctively closed together really tight.

Posted by: lt at February 16, 2006 9:53 AM

Talk about getting the lead out!

Posted by: Andy at February 16, 2006 11:25 AM

I really hate to weigh in on this topic, but...if the fellow hadn't any lead in his pencil, he'd have been better off switching to digital technology.

(Sorry. Sorry....)

Posted by: John Neish at February 16, 2006 11:29 AM

A new drug!: Pencilinhim.

Posted by: me no dhimmi at February 16, 2006 12:08 PM

write on, brothers, write on

Posted by: kakola at February 16, 2006 12:20 PM

Yeesh! That made me wince!

Posted by: benning at February 16, 2006 12:31 PM

I ran into an emergency room physician once who told me that they had a lot of people wandering into the emergency room to get "a surgical removal" of some foreign object.

This spills over into politics of course, because a huge number of people on the left are in the precarious position of requiring this procedure for their head.

Posted by: Greg (outside Dallas) at February 16, 2006 12:40 PM

dhimmi: "A new drug!: Pencilinhim."

Haaaaaaaaaa... lmao!! ^^ Wot a twisted lot you are! ROFLMFARO.

Posted by: Snookie at February 16, 2006 2:17 PM

what was it Kramer said :

"at a party , stand by the proctologist, they have the best stories, its always an accident how something got up there"

Posted by: cal2 at February 16, 2006 2:45 PM

"Words can kill" right on Warren ... and writing will give you a punctured bladder.

Posted by: richfisher at February 16, 2006 3:16 PM

Snookie:
I'm not very internet literate.
What do these mean:
lmao!
ROFLMFARO

Posted by: me no dhimmi at February 16, 2006 3:35 PM

Is it just me or does anyone else hear the rimshot every time they read a comment here? And an image of Jay Leno delivering the line?

Slightly off topic (but not much):
Q. What is the difference between "erotic" and "kinky"?
A. Erotic is when you use a chicken feather, kinky is when you use the whole chicken. Padat dat!

Posted by: Texas Canuck at February 16, 2006 4:02 PM

Makes sense if the thing had a rubber on the end ...

Posted by: Mississauga Matt at February 16, 2006 5:37 PM

Oh thanks for the visual Texas Chicken, err Canuck...

Posted by: tomax at February 16, 2006 6:37 PM

Viagra has been linked to blindness.(But then, he could always sell pencils?) Ewwwwwwww!

Posted by: dave at February 18, 2006 9:15 AM

Posted by: Leca at February 22, 2006 11:00 AM