My Entry in the Liberal Ad Spoof Contest from Colbert Report
I got tired of trying to figure out how to imbed a flash file into my blog so just click on the link and enjoy. Ad Spoof Flash File 163KB... [Read More]

Tracked on January 11, 2006 7:28 PM

My Liberal Party campaign ad from Magic Statistics
Here's my script for one of those American-style Liberal attack ads. Stephen Harper says a Conservative minority government would be stable. [Read More]

Tracked on January 11, 2006 9:47 PM

A MUST-READ AT THE CANADIAN SENTINEL!

http://thecanadiansentinel.blogspot.com/2006/01/why-we-need-notwithstanding-clause.html

Liberal candidate

At my door,

Lips moving, nose growing,

Lying through his teeth.

Brown envelope full of cash

In his pocket

In Canada

I am not making this up

I've made a feeble attempt to index some of the best parodies so far. It's like trying to drink from a firehose.

An electronic firehose.

In a city.

In Canada.

I'm not making this up.

Kate:

I was watching the CTV scrum of Martin answering questions from reporters after his big speech today.

http://www.ctv.ca//servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20060111/ELXN_liberal_platform_060111/20060111?s_name=election2006&no_ads=

Gloria Galloway coldcocked Bucky with a question that I'm sure almost made him lose his lunch.
Not verbatum but I think I'm close to the verbage.

..If you remove the NWSC and the supreme court decides to deny two tier medicine is a violation of right to security of person, what are you going to do then?..

Methinks Gloria was reading your "SWTE:Martin Abandons The Canada Health Act"

Fred,

That wasn't a brown envelope in his pocket, that was the brown stuff that causes the smell of fear.

Ignore Mikhail Ignatieff? The Liberal's great White Russian hope said last night >>> "we need troops, warriors and chieftains" ready for the political battle over Quebec." more >>

January 11, 2006 - TDH sources back in Ontario tell us that Michael Ignatieff has been less than complimentary towards Paul Martin and the central campaign team in private conversations to Liberals (including some that took place at his event last night), making his double meaning quotes in the Toronto Star (posted below) all the more suspicious.

January 11, 2006 - If there was absolutely any doubt as to whether Michael Ignatieff's $300 a plate fundraiser last night was a leadership campaign kickoff, and completely unrelated to his current attempt to become an MP, just take a look at these quotes:

"Senior Liberals turned out last night to hear rookie politician Michael Ignatieff warn that Canada is facing a national unity crisis in which "we need troops, warriors and chieftains" ready for the political battle over Quebec." > more
http://www.tdhstrategies.com/home.html

The Liberals must be producing a lot of that "brown stuff" right now, right into the seats of their pretty red panties. They know it's most likely they're going to end up being pilloried for their dirty deeds.

You guys HAVE TO (no, seriously, stop everything and do it, it's awesome and deadly serious) check out CPC Finance Critic Monte Solberg's Jan. 10th blog post "We have missles in the air!" at:

montesolberg.com/blog.htm

Just do it. It rocks.

... then come back here for more of the Liberal Party train wreck and Canadian Democracy Renaissance.

Gimbol - is there tape of that?

Private health clinics in our cities.

Canadian cities.

U.S.-style clinics.

In our cities.

In Canada.

We did not make this up.

Paul Martin will use the War Measures Act.

To stay in power.

In Canada.

He can't be allowed to shut us up.

Choose your weapon.

Well done Liberals - you've screwed the pooch this time.

"OTTAWA (CP) - Soldiers past and present say they are insulted and outraged by a "despicable" and "incredibly stupid" Liberal campaign ad suggesting Canadian cities would be subject to military occupation under a Conservative government."

"It's pretty dumb to use soldiers as a wedge issue," said retired general Lewis MacKenzie, who ran for the Tories and lost in 1997. "It took my breath away; I just couldn't believe anybody could be that dumb."

"Soldiers, sailors and aircrew are formally prohibited from making public political comment or responding to political policy. But that didn't stop some from e-mailing expressions of outrage to advocacy and veterans' groups."

"People I work with echo my disgust that Canadian politicians are now using Canadian Forces personnel, past and present, to threaten people into voting Liberal," said one airman from Cold Lake, Alta."

"The airman, who has served for 26 years, wrote in the e-mail to a national veterans' group that the ad appears directed at least partly at immigrants whose experience with militaries are almost invariably negative."

"We can only see this as a desperate attempt to win a few votes from what some would call the ethnic minority," he said."

"We have been honoured to walk Canadian streets. We have gone to the aid of municipalities in ice storms and the odd snow flurry in Toronto. If a city asked us for armed help during a crisis (as in the Oka or FLQ incidents, both a Quebec problem), I hope we would serve Canada well."

Retired colonel Alain Pellerin called the ad an act of desperation that is particularly "despicable" since CF members - even the chief of defence staff - are muzzled and cannot publicly respond.

"To use the Armed Forces for a purely crass political aim, to me is despicable," said Pellerin, a former infantryman who heads the Conference of Defence Associations, a lobby group and think tank.

"He said it's even more offensive given that it's virtually the only reference the Liberals have made to the military in the entire campaign."

"In an online blog, former navy seaman Lance Levsen of Delisle, Sask., said he was angered by the ad."

"That ad doesn't attack Harper and the (Conservatives). It attacks me," Levsen wrote. "The group of people that this ad targets are suggested to be a threat to peace in our Home and Native Land. That was me. ME! "

"That ad targets my comrades who had the courage to join a profession whose job description includes death. That ad targets the heroic people of the UN peacekeeping missions who stand between warring factions defending peace."

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Politics/CanadaVotes/2005/12/04/pf-1337392.html

Adsplat! This from "mole" at WK's site:
------------------------

Liberal candidates with pamphlets, saying they aren't crooks

At my front door.

Says they would be a good backbench Liberal.

At my front door.

Turning on my garden hose.

A candidate.

Running down my driveway and up the street.

We're not making this stuff up.

There is a God.

Yes, yes, yes! Let the parodies flow! Here's mine:

Like George W. Bush, Stephen Harper thinks we should be putting weapons in space.

To fight Unidentified Flying Object's.

Really. That's what he said.

Does Stephen Harper believe in UFO's?

We just don't know.

He isn't saying.

Choose your planet.

This is so deserving of some form of contest.

Further to the 'Ignatieff" diner last night one of the comments repeated at the diner was that "We need new blood". This is the extent of Liberals thinking . They need a blood transfusion to re-establish their rule of Canada. What they don't understand is that over the last number of years of Liberal rule they have been involved in so many incestuous relationships that they have destroyed their gene pool. A blood transfusion isn't going to work. The so-called natural ruling party of this country has left a legacy in the Liberal Party of Canada that is devoid of anyone in the upper echelon having three brain cells working in conjunction with each other. Roll on the 23rd.

Lets take it one step further: a Liberal attack Haiku contest!

Best so far:

Conservatives bad

Make you raise your own children

On three bucks a day.

Paul Martin said he would remove the “notwithstanding clause” as the first act of a new Liberal government.

The only protection citizens have from appointed Supreme Court judges.

The court stacked with Liberal judges.

Appointed. Not elected.

Not by you

By Liberals

Yes, those Liberals.

——————————————————-

Paul Martin says Muslim values are Canadian values.
(Message from Prime Minister Paul Martin on Eid ul-Adha
January 11, 2006)

Some Muslims value polygamy.

Paul Martin says he stands for Canadian values.

Do Canadians support polygamy as a value?

We don’t know.

He didn’t tell us we did.

What else is Paul Martin hiding?

I know someone who had a blood transfusion. And regularly used Factor 8 for most of his life. He now has Hep C. Thanks to hillbilly blood courtesy of the Arkansas penal system and one certain Canadian company that "shipped" the stuff up here...no names mentioned (I've already been audited twice)

The Liberals don't need a transfusion. Decapitation is the only way to pop that zit.

Paul Martin is banning weapons in space.

And handguns.

Plus long arms.

Crossbows too.

When completed, he hopes all the criminals will then feel unthreatened and move there.

Canadian cities will once again be safe.

We are not making this up.

Ready. Aim. Fire!!!!

Liberal attack ads panned by military
OTTAWA (CP) - Soldiers past and present say they are insulted and outraged by a "despicable" and "incredibly stupid" Liberal campaign ad suggesting Canadian cities would be subject to military occupation under a Conservative government.
via cnews

Still up
... pour la présence de l'armée dans toutes nos villes ...

4:47 PM « Links « Comments (5) » Email »

andrewcoyne.com for the link
http://www.liberal.ca/multimedia_f.aspx
*****

Ignore Mikhail Ignatieff? The Liberal's great White Russian hope said last night >>> "we need troops, warriors and chieftains" ready for the political battle over Quebec."

Conservative war room! Take note!!!!!

Target Ignatieff using the quote above

Paul Martin wants to remove the federal government's right to use the notwithstanding clause.

Judges roaming our streets.

With gavels.

Mandating guaranteed wait times at Tim Horton's after it takes 5 minutes to get their 'double double'.

We're not making this stuff up.

Political parties running attack ads on our televisions.

Canadian televisions.

American style attack ads.

In Canada.

On the CBC.

Brought to you by the Liberal Party of Canada.

We are not making this up.

AND after just seeing Gloria Galloway grill PMPM today...

Paul Martin wants to remove the federal government's right to use the notwithstanding clause.

Judges deciding how you will receive your health care.

Destroying the very system of public health care that Paul Martin's father helped to create.

We're not making this stuff up.

Stephen Harper ate at a Tex-Mex place once

Where members of the American military eat

With blood on their hands

And IQs incapable of reading the menus,

Who lust after Canadian womanhood

With their perverted American thoughts.

Could Stephen Harper actually condone this?

We just don't know.

He isn't saying.

And this is in Canada.

Where da Canadian women at?!?

Retired soldiers.
Retired militia.
Living in our cities.
Behind every bush.
Or under a rock.
On your street.
"They" are everywhere.
In Canada.LOL

I'm so glad we're laughing at this now. I was sick earlier thinking how some people might take these ads. The laughter certainly diffuses them.
I want to add one thing--if the Canadian soldiers "in our cities" have guns where on earth did they come from? Are the Liberals saying Stephen Harper is threatening to finally give soldiers the equipment they need?

Stephen Harper. In Ottawa. With a Majority. In Canada.

(I'm not making this up)

Check out the Paul Wells blog. It's got by far the best parody.

Little change up.

Dead soldiers , That died for us , Buried in our cities , In Canada , And In Europe , Europe's Screwed , Choose Your Canada , We're Not Making This Stuff Up !

Paul Wells' blog by far the best parody? Anyone working for Maclean's is a liberal fart catcher and will show nothing but liberal spin.

Here was mine....

Paul Martin was elected to the House of Commons in 1988.
Auto theft has increased in Ottawa by 79% since 1988.
I did not make this up.
Is Paul Martin stealing cars?
We don't know, do we?

It's kinda fun after you get the hang of it.

Terry, I just read yours....

YOU WIN...

Just saw Stephen Harper say that he didn't trust POLES. Quick, get Scott Reid on this and get an ad made refering to Harper hating people of POLISH decent. Goes right in line with the BROWN Shirt ad. After all Poland was first. Ops!! Saw the rest of the interview and Harper was refering to ELECTION POLLS. Ah, so what, run the ad anyway, what does the BIG RED MACHINE have to lose at this point.

Paul Martin has put Liberals
On the streets in our cities
With smoking guns
Shooting themselves in the feet
In our cities
In Canada.

We are not making this up.

New tag game!

Priceless, Kate! Just priceless!

Thanks! Heheheee!

WHAT??!!!! Harper ate at a Tax-Max restaurant??? Well....I never! And I was gong to vote conservative!

Okay, here's my take from South of the border:

It's morning in Canada.
The sun is rising on a new day for Canadians.
That sun is causing cancer in Canadians because the USA will not sign the Kyoto Accords.
Stephen Harper does not hate the USA.
A coincidence?
Does Stephen Harper cause cancer in Canadians?
We just don't know.
Harper isn't saying.

Funny, the only P.M. to ever send armed Canadian soldiers into a Canadian city in recent memory was Pierre Trudeau, patron saint of the Liberal Party. October, 1970, wasn't it? Surely Paul Martin doesn't think Stephen Harper is as scary as Trudeau !

Kete:
Please spare us the moonbat stuff. We already know they're out there.
Jack

On January 23, 2006
Quite clearly
And funadamentally
We want to be perfectly clear
That Paul Martin
On the streets
In our cities
Will be NOTWITHSTANDING
In Canada.

We are not making this up.

Paul Martin
On our streets
Putting the “fun”
In fundamental

Paul Martin
In our cities
Putting the “mental”
In fundamental

Clearly
In Canada.

We are not making this up.

the last man (pun coming ) to send troops into a city was Jean Cretian who did so at the behest of Mayor Mel Lastman standing.

they called it the battle of Bay Street and Sussex Drive.

there were many casualties- mostly in the credibility of the army and the government. plus Jean broke his back bending over backwards for the Trona vote.

Why did they feel the need to say "soldiers WITH guns"?

I don't know, Paul Wells is a liberal fart catcher, but this is still pretty funny:

Just now at the Subway on Bank St. I was buying my lunch and there... in line... standing in front of me... was a soldier.

In our cities.

In Canada.

A soldier.

He seemed to be ordering the six-inch ham and turkey.

With chipotle sauce.

In Canada.

We're not making this stuff up.

My entries to the haiku contest

Liberals are Red
Communism is also Red
Read my Red Book too.

----------------------

Paul like dictator
Tell everyone what to do
He actually said that.

It is too late to read all of the comments.

But one I want to leave (and my apologies to those who have gone before me if they have already made mention), you have to understand that the real intent of the ad was to SCARE THE CRAP out of immigrants who have come to Canada from war torn countries.

To them, soldiers in the streets of our cities, with guns is a real experience which they relate to government abuse. It was to them that this ad was focussed to try and scare the immigrants (or new Canadians) to vote for the Liberals in order to ensure that they keep soldiers, with guns, out of Canadian cities.

The liberals are really starting to creep me out!

Ed the Hun

Spread these links around! New negative ads, let's make them viral!

http://media.putfile.com/PaulMartin-Adscam
http://media.putfile.com/PaulMartin-China
http://media.putfile.com/PaulMartin-Ethics
http://media.putfile.com/PaulMartin-GST
http://media.putfile.com/PaulMartin-guns
http://media.putfile.com/PaulMArtin-guns2
http://media.putfile.com/PaulMartin-IncomeTrust
http://media.putfile.com/PaulMartin-notwithstanding-I
http://media.putfile.com/PaulMartin-notwithstanding-II
http://media.putfile.com/PaulMartin-notwithstanding-III
http://media.putfile.com/PaulMartin-Ships
http://media.putfile.com/PaulMartin-tax

Or link to them from my blog:
http://paulmartinlies.blogspot.com

Thanks!
CT

Paul Martin said he'd ban handguns because they kill people.

But he won't make Saskatchewan ban them.

In Saskatchewan guns are free to kill people.

Saskatchewan is mostly Conservative.

Paul Martin will let Conservatives die in Saskatchewan.

Because guns can kill people. In Saskatchewan.

Paul Martin will let them.

He said so.

I am not making this up.

Hey guys - I hope that "anyone" who works for Macleans being a "liberal fart catcher" who "will show nothing but liberal spin" is an extreme or, let us say, rhetorical opinion, because Mark Steyn - yes, *that* Mark Steyn - is now writing their Books column (causing much outrage and disgust in certain quarters in Toronto, to be sure). And if you think Mark Steyn is any sort of "liberal fart catcher", well, you need to read him a bit more.

Really, Paul Wells' parody is one of the best, so is Damian Penney's "Susie's pink bicycle" at Daimnation!

Dave Dryden, brother of Hall of Famer Ken, felt the helmet/cage design was flawed because it protected the head more than it protected the face. By cutting out a space in a fibreglass mask and covering the hole with a cage, he created a hybrid of the fibreglass mask and the birdcage. His innovation would take about ten years to catch on but it's now widely considered the safest version of goaltender facial protection available.

Ken Dryden never gave a damn about protecting the faces of young netminders, yet he suggests that he can take care of your children better than you can.

On or off the ice.

In Canada.

Rats are running the rink.

In Canada.

Did Ken Dryden use his association with a Quebec team to help him get elected?

Serge isn't saying.

Choose your three stars.

Stephen Harper's initials are "SH".

Do you know who ELSE has "SH" in their name?

That's right. McChimpy Poopypants.

We are not making this up.

We're not ALLOWED to make things like this up.

Unless we really, really, REALLY want to get elected.

Martin never said he would put thugs in Canadian cities.

Thugs

With guns

In our cities

In Canada

He never said he would....but his judges do it every day

Stephen Harper actually announced he wants to increase military presence in our cities.

Canadian cities.

Soldiers with snow shovels.

In Toronto.

In Canada.

In the rain.

We did not make this up.

Choose your Canada.

Steven Harper is an economist.

You know who else has an economy?

The US.

Is Steven Harper going to turn Canada over to the US economy?

We don't know.

He's not saying.

Steven Harper had a cold last year.

Do you know what a cold is ?

It's a contagous virus , like the Black Plague.

It killed one in every 5 humans on earth.

Does Harper want to roam the earth killing every fifth human he comes in contact with.

We don't know.

He's not saying!

it's easy to create some wit
for that idiot white liberal twit
that guy named paul martin
whose ass must be smartin
and head is filled with sh**

Scott Reid said "Alberta can blow me."

That's right: the official spokesperson for Paul Martin and the Liberal Party.

Got loaded at the annual National Press Club event.

In Ottawa. In Canada.

Got loaded and mouthed off to Mr. Martin.

Not Paul Martin. Don Martin. Of the Calgary Herald.

Is Scott Reid looking for some Brokeback Mountain-style action from the cowboys in Alberta?

We don't know.

Does Scott Reid think he should apologize to Albertans?

He's not saying.

Does Paul Martin approve of Mr. Reid's attitude towards Alberta voters?

We don't know.

Neither are saying.

This is the message from the Liberal party.

The party that touts itself as the defender of Canadian unity.

The Liberals. Paul Martin's Liberals.

We're not making this up.

Choose your Canada.

Cmon you guys. Not funny.

This is what happens when taxpayer money is cut from advertising production!!!

Tex-Mex? I prefer Cal-Mex, or better yet, flavors from Oaxaca or Hidalgo. Come on canada, enjoy! Our true north strong and free should include at least one traditional dish with some peppers in it.

Although, trying to get a good Relleno in Canada is a search worth continuing....

Hey, any investors want to throw some money at a genuine Mexican restaurant for Canada? The salsa and margueritas are an easy sale.....really....cause I'd love to find a Mexican restaurant in Canada right now!!!!

Check out proudtobecanadian.ca where a couple of these spoofs were made into actual video ads.