small dead animals: Dear Santa,

December 24, 2005

Dear Santa,

If I can't have a Bonsai Kitten, please bring me one of these.

(for those readers with tender sensibilities, the first link is a well-known internet hoax. If it offends you, go back to answering email from Nigerian princesses.)

Posted by Kate at December 24, 2005 12:04 PM

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Comments

Fantastic! The perfect apparel for a PETA protest!

Posted by: Kevin at December 24, 2005 12:10 PM

That's cute.

But...

I want this.

Posted by: Doug at December 24, 2005 12:11 PM

Sweet! I'll bet it's warm too.

Posted by: MCPO Airdale at December 24, 2005 12:26 PM

This had god-damned well better be a joke or I will personally visit these people.
Please tell me this is a joke.
I am not kidding.

Posted by: Duke at December 24, 2005 12:40 PM

Well, Duke, it made me laugh.

Posted by: Laura at December 24, 2005 1:02 PM

Bonsai kitten is a hoax. http://www.spca.bc.ca/about/faq.asp#badsite

Posted by: Feisty at December 24, 2005 1:15 PM

Kate, some advice: You really should reconsider this post.

"Small, Dead Animals" may stand as a metaphor to colour very diverse contexts and thought-streams, but if this bit of linked porn gains any circulation, your reputation will suffer.

Simply put, you obviously own a keen intellect and a sharp eye for the juxtaposition of free-speech and irony. I submit, however, that in this case, you have greatly over-estimated the ability of a large percentage of the population to grasp meaning beyond the images.

Don't mess with small, baby animals or blue-eyed infants. Especially when images of sugar plums are dancing in everyone's heads.

When you stand on an intellectual pin that is too sharp, you may not be able to step easily to safety.

Posted by: MGK at December 24, 2005 1:57 PM

I will be right there with you Duke!

Posted by: Buffalo Bean at December 24, 2005 2:42 PM

Hey! Ease up on the PETA bashing. I belong to PETA.

People Eating Tasty Animals.

Posted by: Hungry Valley at December 24, 2005 3:19 PM

I wouldn't wear one of those on a hunting trip, but it would be perfect apperal for my next PETA meeting! ;-)

BTW, that was a full-grown coyote. Don't worry about these vermin. There are way too many of them and they can be damn dangerous to people and pets. Oddly enough, I've seen more coyotes in Vancouver, than I ever have on hunting trips. I once saw one walking down a sidewalk in broad daylight across from the 29th Avenue Skytrain station. This is an area with lots of houses and kids and pets.

Posted by: Jim Pook at December 24, 2005 3:19 PM

Stop trying to ruin my Christmas!

Posted by: Kate at December 24, 2005 3:25 PM

I believe that quite a few people would pay hard cash to see Kate in that coyote hat armed with the old .22 pump.

Even better is imagining the number of people whose heads would explode.

Posted by: Hungry Valley at December 24, 2005 3:38 PM

You know people, this world is so whacked nowadays that anything is possible. They do eat cats in southeast asia and make lovely apparelle out of the poor little thing's fur to be worn by twit women who think it's cool. Dogs too by the way.

So, it's not a far stretch to imagine some whack doing this kind of thing to kittens.

This country just said yes to perverted S&M mate swap sex clubs .. so why not bottled kittens.

We need a Global Roto Rooter to unclog the drain.

Posted by: Duke at December 24, 2005 3:44 PM

Duke - let me put your mind at ease. The Bonsai kitten hoax is about 7 years old. Relax. No kittens were harmed in the process.

Besides, it's not like they... eh .... tied them on kite strings or something....

Posted by: Kate at December 24, 2005 3:49 PM

It may be a hoax, but it's in very bad taste.

I really like your blog, so I was quite dismayed to see this.

Posted by: Felix at December 24, 2005 3:55 PM

Hey, lighten up a bit, it's Christmas, eh? The whole thing with the bonsai kitten hoax that was so interesting was that lots of uptight grinches came out from under their rocks to tell the world how offended they were. If you are so offended by alleged kittens in bottles, Madam Goombah in Nigeria needs your help in getting millions in gold out of Nigeria. Come on now, turn that frown into a smile! Merry Christmas, Lady of the Night, Lady of the Night, Lady of the Night! (you can't say Ho, Ho, Ho any more, the sex trade workers are offended by it!)

Posted by: DoubtingThomas at December 24, 2005 6:02 PM

Thanks Kate. I don't think it's bad that you posted. It got my heart going and I CAN take a joke.

Merry Xmas and go to Duke's Place for a nice Christmas wish if you have a couple of minutes.
It's a PPS that you may want to pass on to others at this time of year.

It's poignant and makes you think a bit about how fortunate we all are to be where we are .. even in in this 'demented dominion' to quote the great Mark Steyn.

May I also say that my life is enriched because of SDA.

Best,
Duke

Posted by: Duke at December 24, 2005 9:00 PM

Duke, you have drunk the Kool-Aid on this one. Your initial reaction is the more honest approach. Now it's all ex post facto rationalization.

I'd like someone to give me their best shot on this one. Never mind the facile, moral relativism. Never mind the straw dogs of PETA or the Animal Liberation Front. Save your ad hominems and platitudes. Give me your best argument, your sharpest intellect - and I guarantee that I'll shred it.

My perspective on this comes from legal work I did for the Canadian Federation of Humane Societies. I was asked to provide counsel on how one might tighten the animal cruelty provisions of the Criminal Code.

If you suckholes and apologists for Kate's incredible lapse of judgment knew even a fraction of the butchery that so-called civilized humans carry out regularly, you might see this in a different light. Reflect on what kind of mind perpetrates such an elaborate hoax, and incurs the expense of keeping the website up. Reflect on equally humourous parallels - perhaps dealing with children, women and minority groups.

This is a goddam abomination, served up on the wrong, fucking day of the year. I'm done with this. Kate, you are a embarrassment to conservatism. And you just lost a regular reader and commentor.

If I could, I would take back all the votes I cast for you in the Weblog Awards.

Posted by: MGK at December 24, 2005 9:46 PM

"If I could keep cats in a bottle...." (Jim Croce)

Merry Christmas Kate. I thought it was funny and I know a few people who will as well.

Seems like a few regulars need to aquire a sense of humour.

Posted by: Brian M. at December 24, 2005 11:58 PM

Dearest Cmhr,

I think the list that got that reference is probably limited to your brothers and me.

Good bait, though.

Posted by: Ken Woods at December 25, 2005 1:59 AM

Dear MGK, and the rest of the people offended by Kates post.

I feel that I must step forward and agree. While Kate normally shows decent judgement in regards to drawing the line, I feel that this post lacked that.

Please see my latest entry at:

http://www.80below.com

I've written an entry with specific regards to Kate's abhorable lack of judgement on this issue.

Posted by: Ken Woods at December 25, 2005 3:37 AM

Please do not read "Quantization as an Eigenvalue Problem" (1926) by Erwin Schr�dinger and his cat.

Merry Christmas Everyone
Peace on Earth and Goodwill Toward All

Posted by: Vitruvius at December 25, 2005 7:50 AM

Nice time of year to be glorifying death and torture of helpless animals. Pathetic.

Posted by: Lew at December 25, 2005 11:32 AM

Ken Woods...That link says *what* exactly?

Showing pictures of deceased animals ...ok, that could be taken a few ways...shock value or, what can happen as sick minds find sites ....or?

But I did not connect at all with your statement, though I chose not to go back to re- read.

As an animal rescuer-supporter, death is a reality...

Abuse and torture however, of animals especially, is a whole other aspect. If I know I am going to have it front and center, I can prepare.

That does not make me weaker or stronger...just prepared. And sometimes cruelty, in fact or as a hoax, is so striking that all one can do is gasp.

I gasped!

Posted by: Buffalo Bean at December 25, 2005 11:47 AM

Better get busy and hunt down those blogs where people admit they got fur coats and leather wallets for Christmas so you can really get your knickers in a knot.

Get a grip people. The bonsai kitten site is an old well known hoax famous for the furor it caused about freedom of speech and the absurdity of people who, after told it didn't exist, still demanded it be removed.
Speaking of absurd maybe look up, way up at the animal decorating this site. I think it's real, and I think it's dead.

Now go eat some of that turkey - you know - the one that died of old age in its sleep.

Posted by: nobody at December 25, 2005 12:13 PM

First off, the premise that everyone knew that site was a hoax is wrong.

Now that I am aware of it, I would include a warning about the site's contents, but that may be just me.

That animals may end up on our plates is a red herring.

We can only hope the producer was at least not abusive along the way, which is a whole skyscraper up, from relishing abuse for abuse's sake....hoax or not.

That one speaks out about this now does not mean they have lost their measure of balance about the food chain sourcing, and the end result.

Just when you think nothing could shock you, it did...that is my point.

It won't stop me from reading SDA, for there is much more value to what one finds here, than this one entry.

It has though, made me pause...hoping it will never be so....

Posted by: Buffalo Bean at December 25, 2005 1:04 PM

You people need to grow the fuck up and realize that the world is not all kittens, puppies and flowers.

Or, maybe it is.....

Kittens shoved in bottles, that is.

Posted by: Ken Woods at December 25, 2005 3:11 PM

I have better things to do than babysit a flamewar on a single sentence driveby link post ... (well, maybe I don't) ... but nonetheless, keep the language in check, people.

Posted by: Kate at December 25, 2005 3:36 PM

...or maybe I should just repost the mummified cat picture and the exploding Antonia Zerbisias gif to restore this blog to its offensiveness default setting.

Posted by: Kate at December 25, 2005 3:39 PM

Don't be a sellout.
Braille, anyone?

Posted by: Ken Woods at December 25, 2005 3:41 PM

MGK

It's you who are humorless.

I value my cat Lucy as I would a child, but I think even she has a better sense of the ridiculous than you.

There is a big difference between loving an caring for our furry and feathered friends than the psychotic attitude you bring to it.

As I said, I can take a joke .. I am a sane adult.

Kate got a bit controversial on this post in an effort to entertain, but so what! Her batting average is still at 399. SDA rules.

And don't call us suckholes .. we admire the admirable. You my frantic friend .. scare me!

Posted by: Duke at December 25, 2005 6:22 PM

Look, animal cruelty isn't funny, but bonsai kitten isn't cruelty, it's just bad taste. Cruelty is the puppies rescued by the SPCA and a quick thinking RCMP officer before their owner disposed of them in a bonfire. Cruelty is leaving puppies out to freeze like the guy did in Ladner, BC this month. Cruelty is taking a "Cat, free to good home" and putting them in a catmill to train your Pitbull (look it up and hope you haven't eaten recently). And it gets way-way-way worse. It isn't about no leather and no meat, it's about treating animals with a modicum of decency and keeping their suffering to an absolute minimum. If you want to help stop real animal cruelty (in BC, at least) go to endanimalcruelty.com and do something about it.

Posted by: Feisty at December 25, 2005 7:54 PM

Unbelievably reactionary bloggers wearing snug undies above, eh? Apparently none of them have ever watched a playful kitten enter and stuff herself into an open pyrex 'vessel' before.

It was a brilliant hoax, (had never seen it before) and SDA did an excellent job in providing a light moment during the holiday season for those of her readers who actually have normally good judgement and 'horse sense'. Most of the rest of them have just exposed the shallower nature of their intellects by posting so much trash, above.

Thanks, Kate! Blog on!

Posted by: 49erDweet at December 26, 2005 10:36 AM

Having a manic moment of superiority are you 49erDweeb? or simply letting us know what an android you are?

Posted by: Duke at December 26, 2005 2:14 PM

Posted by: RMpdmYyVin at December 27, 2005 4:51 AM