Speaking of blogging... this appears to be an official Liberal Party of Canada blog. I say "appears" for a reason;
Wow, look at me! I'm in "cyberspace," where no one can hear you scream. Or maybe they CAN hear you scream but they don't pay attention because they're too busy looking at naked ladies. Either way, stop screaming, would you?I for one am betting this so-called "Internet" is really going to catch on. It's neato. Take, for example, these things knowns as "blogs" - you're soaking in one right now! These blogs are great because they allow people with special insight to instantly convey their astute observations and sage opinions to a knowledge- starved world. Or so I'm told. Personally, I'm mostly going to use this one to talk about the lost thespian promise of Erik Estrada. Because really, someone ought to. The man had screen charisma the way Marlon Brando had neck fat.
I may also touch on this whole "who should run the country" deal we've got going on here in Canada.
Last night, the opposition voted non-confidence in the government and forced an election campaign that will take place over the holiday season. This means two things: 1) the prime minister will this morning be visitng the Governor-General to ask her (very nicely, possibly while eating a crumpet) to dissolve the 38th Parliament. And 2) millions of innocent Canadian children will be confronted with the onerous task of staring into the television this Christmas season and trying to tell Stephen Harper from the Grinch.
Remember, kids: one is grumpy and has a heart two sizes too small. And the other one's the Grinch.
Travelling as part of what is officially called the Leader's Tour (and what is colloquially known among staffers as That Plane That Hardly Ever Seems To Land in Alberta for Some Reason), I will be filing typo-ridden, thumb-pecked dispatches on my Blackberry over the course of the campaign.
Remember: views expressed on this blog do not necessarily represent the policies or beliefs of Paul Martin. Except when I write about the hypnotic musical stylings of Nana Mouskouri. We're totally in sync on that.
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.smalldeadanimals.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/2995
And this is what happens... from Angry in the Great White North
This is what happens when you decriminalize marijuana. You get the Official Blog of the Liberal Party of Canada! [Read More]
Tracked on November 29, 2005 12:56 PM
Oh… My… from PomoChristian
Paul Martin’s speechwriter, Scott Feschuk, now has a blog on the Liberal Campaign Website ™, and its inane.
His first post is this good:
“Wow, look at me! I’m in “cyberspace,” where no one can hear you scream. Or ... [Read More]
Tracked on November 29, 2005 5:57 PM
So good it just has to be fattening from Tart Cider
Oh dear, Jason Kenney — look what you did: MP Jason Kenney held a news conference in which he complained — incorrectly — that Martin speechwriter Scott Feschuk had insulted ethnic minorities. Feschuk had written a humorous note on the... [Read More]
Tracked on November 30, 2005 5:14 PM
Oh look,they are not allowing comments! Pitty. I was so looking forward to posting a few well reasoned arguments against Paul Martin. Maybe they were able to see that others were thinking the same thing. Pitty.
Posted by: Slider at November 29, 2005 12:36 PMIt seems the strange Mr. Feschuk, he of the superstrong thumbs, is inviting comments via e-mail. He asks you write him at sfeschuk@liberal.ca.
http://www.liberal.ca/blogs_e.aspx
Posted by: Johnny Pockets at November 29, 2005 12:43 PMThe real story behind the Fiberal blog:
Throughout the campaign, Scott Feschuk — chief speechwriter to Paul Martin — will be filing reports from the road using his Blackberry, a wireless handheld device that enables political staffers to stay in touch, instantly communicate with the media and develop freakish, superstrong thumbs with which they can crush most European sedans. Respond to Scott's blog at sfeschuk@liberal.ca.Posted by: Josef at November 29, 2005 12:50 PM
It's a good thing it isn't allowing comments.
Who'd want anything to stand between that blog and the riducle that is coming its way?
The libs are so groovy. I mean hep.
Posted by: yyc at November 29, 2005 12:51 PMIs this thing a joke?
I mean, "neato?"
If Steven Harper = Grinch, then Belinda Stronach = Grinchier
Posted by: Josef at November 29, 2005 12:52 PMTruly a Kim moment.
Posted by: yyc at November 29, 2005 12:55 PMAs Coyne's favorite Bugs Bunnyrism says:
"What a maroon"
Its like watching Arnold Horshack in some kind of sad remake of Welcome Back Kotter, with Paul Martin as some kind of overweight neck fat encrusted Vinny Barbarino.
Posted by: Plato's Stepchild at November 29, 2005 12:59 PMWhat a gone cat.
Posted by: yyc at November 29, 2005 1:05 PM"Its like watching Arnold Horshack in some kind of sad remake of Welcome Back Kotter, with Paul Martin as some kind of overweight neck fat encrusted Vinny Barbarino."
ROFLMAO
Posted by: Candace at November 29, 2005 1:07 PMIt's cool and "cutting edge". It's irreverent and has attitude. It's Poochie the Dog.
Reminds me of thse old CBC clips where guys with bowties interview the Beatles or Stones
Posted by: PGS at November 29, 2005 1:11 PM"WELCOME BACK KOTTER THEME SONG PLAYS IN BACKGROUND AS VIA RAIL TRAIN CAREENS THROUGH DESERTED TORONTA NEIGHBORHOOD BECAUSE EVERYONE IS IN KEN DRYDEN DAYCARE."
Scott Brison as playing Epstein, just told some girl in the class to
The role of Gabe Kaplan will be played by rotating members of the board of Power Corporation. The crusty principal/vice principal role is still up for grabs, but leading contenders are Craig Oliver, Dalton Camp or Joe Clark.
Posted by: Plato's Stepchild at November 29, 2005 1:14 PMOK, I'll be the first one to say it: Feschuk and the blog are actually pretty funny. I can admit that because I'm quite sure the blog won't change any voters' minds, and funny's never a bad thing.
I hope he keeps writing it.
I also hope the Liberals suffer an electoral implosion the likes of which have never before been seen.
These two hopes are not mutually exclusive.
Posted by: Damian at November 29, 2005 1:14 PMDamian: Actually they are connected.
What a Lip Flappin' Hodad for the Five Finger Discount party!
It may be my imagination but, I think that you folks North of the Border have a political climate that is just a lot more "vivid" than what we have down here.
Oh, there's a lot of talk about criminals and such but all we have are the usual bent politicians. You guys really seem to have the honest to goodness Mob in yours.
And the dialog! Down here you have to wait for somebody over fifty to write something trenchant and/or witty. Our educational system absolutely collapsed and hardly anyone here can write a sentence that parses let alone an entire paragraph.
That gives you a very deep bench. A prairie Mensa Maiden with a rapier like style can use both the point and the edge. Down here we'd nominate someone like that to Congress. Up there she gets a round of polite applause more befitting a cricket pitch. Also, you people seem to be able to express yourselves with a minimum of potty mouth. I guess that may be from a Rap Music deficiency.
As I look out on our grim landscape of the half vast, I truly envy you Canadians.
Posted by: Hungry Valley at November 29, 2005 1:23 PMHungry Valley,
Its tough hanging in Canada if you are an Athenian Toganite, but SDA is worth it. I would make an excellent congressional page although I have not mastered the SDA shotgun etiquette.
Only our political toadies get to go to Eastern Ivy League schools. The rest of us have to read our Plutarch second hand.
As Beretta used to say, before he was indicted:
"Don't do the crime if you can't do the time."
Posted by: Plato's Stepchild at November 29, 2005 1:29 PMI'm waiting for the first Mod Squad reference with our Governor General as Peggy Lipton and some Claren ce Williams III clone saying:
SOLID.
Lieutenant Greer:
"Its pure horse. Book him."
Posted by: Plato's Stepchild at November 29, 2005 1:32 PMI thought it was pretty funny. Better than the average blog entry, that's for sure. I mean, c'mon, the Erik Estrada commment? Too good.
Posted by: Ted L. Nancy at November 29, 2005 1:37 PMI remember my first wet dream ... neato!
Is this guy for real?
Use of the word thespian is a tip off that this guy is a bad actor.
For a humorous graphic demo of the three main offerings for PM
Have a laugh at
http://dukemcgoo.blogspot.com
My God! Is that really a picture of Harper on Duke McGoo's? He looks like Opie.
(Unintendedly continuing the bad, old television references.)
Posted by: hungry_valley at November 29, 2005 1:52 PMHey Plato, this is Canada - where you "don't do the crime if you can't do the curfew".
Posted by: Kate at November 29, 2005 1:52 PMA mildly amusing link on the Librano$ website:
Apparently this is their 'Fact Sheet' page:
http://www.liberal.ca/pressroom_e.aspx?type=rc
Not a big surprise it is blank!
Posted by: Lewis at November 29, 2005 1:55 PMDoes it seem odd that you Canadians know all the characters on the American 1970's TV series "CHiPs", but no one in the U.S. (except perhaps Condi Rice) knows the name of Canada's Prime Minister?
Erik Estrada -- verily, a worthy icon he. Alas, TV has been on a downward spiral ever since Erik dismounted his motorcycle, eh? (Note the Canadan dialect.)
Posted by: Bob at November 29, 2005 1:56 PM"Curfew"
Geshundeit.
Peter just found out on the Ignatieff thread that Plato had a 20" neck because he was a wrestler.
Next.
Posted by: Plato's Stepchild at November 29, 2005 1:56 PMBob Wrote: Erik Estrada -- verily, a worthy icon he. Alas, TV has been on a downward spiral ever since Erik dismounted his motorcycle, eh? (Note the Canadan dialect.)
Ahem...that was very good. I mean, verily, that was well put.
Posted by: Ted L. Nancy at November 29, 2005 2:01 PM"Erik dismounted his motorcycle"
My kingdom for a horse!
Greer: Its pure horse, book him.
Posted by: Plato's Stepchild at November 29, 2005 2:04 PMBut you know what's really funny about all this?
Paul Martin is going to be prime minister again when all this is over.
You just know that's what's going to happen.
His humour seems vaguely familiar. Did he write for the Air Farce too? Wayne and Schuster? Sonny and Cher?
Posted by: surly at November 29, 2005 2:19 PMEditorial from the Ottawa Sun Nov 29th...
Sometime before we sit down for lunch today it will become official. An election campaign will be under way in Canada and we'll be headed for a late January vote.
One of the first untruths that you can expect to hear as the electioneering moves into high gear is that this is an unnecessary campaign, brought on by irresponsible opposition politicians who have little regard for the electorate.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Yes, there will be some minor inconveniences in a campaign that takes place in the dead of winter and spans the Christmas holiday period. And yes, some government legislation effectively died last night when the opposition parties combined to express non-confidence in the government.
But voters would do well to remember that much of what was on the House of Commons order paper was placed there at the 11th hour by a government that desperately needed to give the appearance of doing something after 12 years of shuffling its feet.
This is a tired government that has much to answer for as we prepare to go full swing into a campaign. A government that has tried every trick in the book to cling to power because it simply dreads the thought of anyone else assuming that position.
This government -- and let's be honest, it's pretty much the same gang that has been in power since 1993 -- has much to answer for. It has been arrogant and reckless with our money from the start.
Think back to 1993 when Jean Chretien was still in charge and killed a deal to buy new helicopters for the military, simply because it had been negotiated by the previous administration. The cost? Five hundred million dollars. It cost another $60 million to wriggle out of a contract to privatize Toronto's Pearson International Airport. Again, partisan politics was the only reason to scotch the deal.
Then there was the botched $1.4-billion heating fuel rebate program, the $1 billion in mismanaged job-creation grants handled by Human Resources Development Canada, the $101 million spent on luxury Challenger jets equipped with extra ego space for the prime minister, the billion dollar gun registry fiasco and the granddaddy of them all -- Adscam.
Unnecessary election campaign?
Hardly.
This is a chance for Canadians to hold politicians' feet to the fire. To ask the important questions. And the questions really aren't that tough, are they?
What every Canadian demands to know first is who can they trust with their money.
Pretty much sums it up...
Posted by: oltx at November 29, 2005 2:39 PMComments, anyone? >>> via cnews
Harper vows free vote on gay marriage
OTTAWA (CP) - Conservative Leader Stephen Harper launched his campaign Tuesday by steering it straight into the electoral turbulence of gay marriage.
"His humour seems vaguely familiar. Did he write for the Air Farce too? Wayne and Schuster? Sonny and Cher?"
The Hilarious House of Frightenstein.
Posted by: Plato's Stepchild at November 29, 2005 2:40 PMOne free vote on this is party policy. It's been said in the Commons. No sense in not answering questions about it. Next we get the part where they only ask question about this and pretend he hasn't answered.
Posted by: yyc at November 29, 2005 2:43 PMHere's a couple of interesting links regarding Scott Feschuk. The first deals with his "leave of absence" in Jan. 2004 from the National Post to become Martin's speech writer. The second dredges up some of his writing in a previous incarnation as Martin critic. (He previously took a year leave of absence to write for This Hour Has 22 Min.)
http://paulmartintime.ca/mediacoverage/000101.html
http://paulmartintime.ca/mediacoverage/000510.html
Posted by: TimR at November 29, 2005 2:44 PMSurly:
Scott Feschuk used to be a columnist for the National Post. He's also written two humour books, which are listed here:
http://www.mcclelland.com/catalog/results.pperl?authorid=54465
Posted by: PhantomObserver at November 29, 2005 3:03 PMWhat i want to know is when will they stop knocking 35% of our income off of our paychecks.
Posted by: craig at November 29, 2005 3:19 PMAir Farce and Wayne and Shuster: Examples of how Cdn broadcasting insists they know better what we should know, what we should watch and what is and is not funny.
Sonny and Cher: Just funny.
Can't anyone stay on topic! It's all about Erik, MAN!
Posted by: Bob at November 29, 2005 3:58 PMBob, we all have ADHD, or are still drunk from celebrating the fall of the Desperate Housewhores
Posted by: Iron Lady at November 29, 2005 4:11 PM"Cyberspace"? 1995 called - they want you to know it's *actually* called The Information Superhighway.
*cough*
This is comedy gold. yyc is right - a comments section on that blog would only serve to defocus the torrent of ridicule that's about to befall poor Mr. Feschuk.
If this is the Liberal answer to Monte Solberg, Mr. Solberg ought to consider it a grave insult.
Posted by: MintedPenguin at November 29, 2005 4:12 PMCraig wrote:
What i want to know is when will they stop knocking 35% of our income off of our paychecks.
When we're dead.
Posted by: Jon at November 29, 2005 4:16 PMcraig wrote: "What i want to know is when will they stop knocking 35% of our income off of our paychecks."
The answer (unfortunately) is when they start knocking off 40% - how else will they pay for all their promises (unless they plan to break them and we all know Lieberals don't break their promises!)
Posted by: John Brown at November 29, 2005 4:21 PMEven though I believe polling is a waste of money and should be banned, there could be some gooed news in this:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051129/wl_canada_nm/canada_politics_poll_ca_col
"The answer (unfortunately) is when they start knocking off 40% - how else will they pay for all their promises (unless they plan to break them and we all know Lieberals don't break their promises!)"
We already pay 40% in payroll taxes here in Quebec...and 15.5% in sales taxes. If the communists in Ottawa think this isn't enough, it just might be time for me to leave this pathetic excuse of a country. The upcoming election will decide if I stay or not.
Posted by: Lewis at November 29, 2005 4:31 PMSteve Harper now on (4.35pm) an online show at CFRA Ottawa. Your can listen to him via the web.
http://www.cfra.com/listen/index.asp
I enjoyed Feschuk when he wrote for the NP: I did not find this entry to be in the least witty or original or entertaining: the problem is not that I do not like Liberals, this entry is just plain annoying, its too contrived, I sense that Feschuk is disgusted with himself for writing this and that he does not really respect the man that pays him, good ol' PMJRPM.
Posted by: bushman at November 29, 2005 4:45 PMCOMMISSIONS
women's commission youth commission seniors' commission aboriginal peoples' commission >>>
From liberal.ca >>>
Commission rate?
10% 20% 50%%%%%% aw, take it all ...
Posted by: maz2 at November 29, 2005 5:02 PM"straight into turbulence"
Wow...even I didn't think Harper would self-destruct this fast.
"Harper made a point of raising the thorny issue even after his handlers had cut off questions from reporters."
Posted by: steve not in ontario at November 29, 2005 5:04 PMLooks to me like everyone is just bit giddy about the election call. The aniticipation of what's to come. Christmas etc. Lots of preoccuptaion.. makes life interesting and hard to stay on topic.
Duke
Posted by: Duke at November 29, 2005 5:11 PMsteve: yep. the handler was right. he should avoid answering that question right from the start of the campaign. always best to have a hidden agenda rather than re-stating the party's position.
Posted by: yyc at November 29, 2005 5:20 PMHey Lewis
Why wait for the election? I left two years
ago and have higher pay, less tax, and have better health care. Why the hell anyone stays up there in Canada I have no idea.
Masochists
Posted by: Missing Link at November 29, 2005 5:37 PMYYC, I agree. Duffy kept going at him about why he did it on the first day since it will likely hound him, and Harper told him because he's made a promise to hold a vote on the traditional definition. It's out there and there really are no hidden agendas now. The Libs thought they could impose this on the country and just walk away, but it's still a major issue in some ethnic communities. Gurmant is not seeking re-election.
Posted by: Iron Lady at November 29, 2005 5:38 PM"Gurmant is not seeking re-election".
iron lady: source?
Posted by: yyc at November 29, 2005 5:47 PMI agree with Harper.
Lets discuss the issue and vote on it!
It's important and this is a democracy!
He would have heard that question everywhere he went, every hour, and avoidance of this issue brings hidden agenda smears by Mike (Phatboy) Duffy.
Perfect answer!
Iron Lady: Re-reading you I presume Harper told Duffy that?
Posted by: yyc at November 29, 2005 5:55 PMHarper was talking about it to Duffy, who kept trying to get Harper to say it was a good thing. But Harper said one day he'll be vindicated by the people who slandered him (Grewal that is). CTV blog is carrying it as well. His wife will run again, though, and Harper says there are a lot of good people in that riding who are interested and he'll leave it to the people there to decide who they're going to nominate.
Posted by: Iron Lady at November 29, 2005 5:59 PMThe sad thing is that I never agreed with the Alliance referendum on moral issues idea.
After that got shot down as a whacky novelty, the Liberals started pretending that Canada's history of free votes on these issues is a whacky idea.
I actually think free votes on these issues serve us well. Sometime it has given the result I wanted (no to capital punishment), other times not.
Posted by: yyc at November 29, 2005 6:03 PMIron Lady: Thanks. I think this also vindicates Harper's loyalty to his caucus. It is the best solution. Grewal takes this out of the election until it is resolved one way or another. A real ethics commissioner would have gotten to the bottom of this.
Posted by: yyc at November 29, 2005 6:06 PMHarper also said that if this free vote on the traditional definition is shot down, then it is well and truly over, but he owes it to people who are opposed and weren't free to say so, to now vote on the traditional definition. He also said he'd those who are already married will still be recognized as such should the traditional definition be upheld.
Posted by: Iron Lady at November 29, 2005 6:06 PMI think I was clear, but just in case, I was pleased that capital punishment was shot down in a free vote. Having a court do would not have been as good a way to do it.
Posted by: yyc at November 29, 2005 6:08 PMMissing Link,
You are most likely correct - I should be thinking about leaving now. The Canadian public is too stupid to realize they are being hosed by the Librano$ and it won't change after this election.
Ironic that I work for an American company here on contract in Montreal - a pity they wouldn't offer me a job down there, but they are outsourcing like crazy since not many companies in the U.S. can afford to pay their employee's health care. *sigh*
Posted by: Lewis at November 29, 2005 6:09 PMIf the liberano;s some how get back into power I will leave just to get away from the corruption.
What the conservatives need to do when they get in is change the senate and the judges. Make them elected or there is no real change.
Posted by: FREE at November 29, 2005 6:36 PMA Triple E senate is very important to most Conservatives, I can see that happening soon after a Conservative gov't is elected. Elected judges...well maybe not so soon.
Posted by: kelly at November 29, 2005 7:03 PMHey, this guy can balance his blackberry on his Liberal Party Red Book!
Posted by: coldcanadian at November 29, 2005 7:06 PMHuh? We're glad we're blowing ourselves up, so no one else can do it?
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
~ Abraham Lincoln
SSM...already decided in courts and provinces, so everyone knows he's trying for far right votes and saying goodbye to Ontario and young voters.
Posted by: steve not in ontario at November 29, 2005 7:20 PMsteve: that position was signed off by caucus and the party and is on the record. what gave you the idea it could be kept silent?
Posted by: yyc at November 29, 2005 7:42 PMIt's the smart thing to do - no matter what the Conservative position is on SSM or how loudly they proclaimed it prior to the election, it was likely to be thrown at them time and time again by the media.
By talking about it on day one, it's going to be worn threadbare by election day.
Posted by: Kate at November 29, 2005 7:58 PMAnd there'll be no accusations of hidden agenda. He's out there, in their faces, and has kept his word to revisit the issue, unlike the Libs.
Posted by: Iron Lady at November 29, 2005 9:07 PMOnly a fool remains silent when a question will bring wisdom.
~Buddha
It's a gutsy and intuitive mood or he blew what his handlers tried to prevent.
We'll see how the spin works....what people only hear will mean a lot.
Posted by: steve not in ontario at November 29, 2005 9:38 PMThe latest:
7:41 PM - We're on the bus to Montreal after the first rally of the campaign. The PM just gave a speech at a lounge in Ottawa's Byward Market. Critically, no animals were harmed.People keep sayng this campaign is a carbon copy of the 2004 election. But that's not true. Stephen Harper has a right handsome new hairstyle. Paul Hellyer has grabbed hold of the campaign agenda, blowing the lid off the whole UFO invasion thing, the number one priority of Canadians who are socially awkward Omni subscribers. And we were all shocked to walk out tonight to discover that, unlike 2004, the PM's oversized face is not on the side of the side of our campaign bus.
Turns out this was an edict from the Prime Minister himself. Big Paul (as we called the massive head, which featured the PM in a boyish haircut and a relentless, toothy smile that we all grew to pathelogically detest) was apparently cramping his style. And frightening small children. We'd pull into small towns in Quebec and we'd invariably hear the frightened screams of innocent toddlers: "Le nez! Le nez!"
Now the side of the bus reads simply: "Paul Martin's Liberals." And Big Paul has gone to his eternal resting spot, which I just naturally assume is the PM's bedroom.
As they say in Latin: res ipsa loquitor
(The affair speaks for itself.)
These first few days of the campaign are largely irrelevant. The only ones paying attention now are the political junkies, most of whom have already made their minds up. The bulk of the the population (at least, the bulk of those who vote) will not pay attention to the campaign until the last three days.
Posted by: Ed Minchau at November 29, 2005 11:21 PMJosef,
I propose forming a special interest group to demand more funding for Latin education.
Posted by: surly at November 30, 2005 12:12 AMI agree, a lot of this is lame, but some is funny, and he is obviously working out his feelings about Martin here. I mean, "[t]ravelling as part of what is officially called the Leader's Tour (and what is colloquially known among staffers as That Plane That Hardly Ever Seems To Land in Alberta for Some Reason)"? "Le nez"? If he's still up in 5 days, I'll be amazed.
Posted by: Meg Q at November 30, 2005 1:43 AMI'm going to see if I get can funding for an Institute for Greater Ethics in Journalism. If I promise to vote Liberal, think I'll get it?
Posted by: Iron Lady at November 30, 2005 12:05 PMSomeone tell me the difference between a Liberal and a PC? This should be good.............
Posted by: archie at December 1, 2005 2:06 AMI especially enjoyed Jason Kenney's tirade about omni magazine readers, the clearly 'in the closet' self-confessed 'virgin' with the pee-wee herman style meshed nicely with the complete lack of intelligence shown on such a public scale. Classy... reaaaall classy. And conservatives want to run the country - good luck.
Posted by: stephen harper at December 1, 2005 12:28 PMSo this represents Mr. Harper's "positive vision for Canada? Reading this drivel makes the bile rise. I guess I can save 1% on the GST for barf bags.
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