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August 21, 2005

In Case Of Forced Retreat

Burn it, I tell you - burn everything to the ground. Conditions must be made unbearable for the enemy and all his accomplices. Leave the criminal invaders naught but scorched earth to claim for their heinous aggression!

update In the comments, "Jeff in Pullman, WA" makes a darned good point -

It's called Hans Island, so the Danes think it's theirs. Now, if you called it "Brian Island", or something equally Canadian, the Danes wouldn't set foot on it.

Duh!

Posted by Kate at August 21, 2005 1:58 AM
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"[T]here are a lot of consequences to not being able to project your sovereignty."

H. Scott Fairley


Indeed.

Posted by: JJM at August 21, 2005 6:15 AM

The money frittered away with the various desperate promises of Mr Dithers would handily cover the year-round expense of maintaining the following on Hans Island:

1. a Canadian flag and a flagpole;

2. a token scientific research establishment;

3. two Mounties; and

4. a platoon of infantry constantly rotating to the island for "winter warfare and Arctic survival training."

JJM

Posted by: JJM at August 21, 2005 7:57 AM

There is a theme here of the Liberal givernment failing to protect Canadian Sovereignty.

1) Failure to protect citizens
- Arar
-Samson
- Khazamei (sp?)

2) Failure to protect citizenship
- Passport control
- False Passports used by foreign powers
- Failure to deport those with no citizenship
- Lax approval of those to get citizenship
- Dual citizenship with anyone...I dont mind dual French Canadian citienship but Canadian Iranian, Canidaian Syrian, Canadian North Korean I have trouble with

3) Failure to protect territory
- Hans Island
- Lax Border controls

Low military spending, customs spending and security and intelligence spending are symptoms of this problem.


Posted by: Stephen at August 21, 2005 9:23 AM

If Canada's claim were strong, we would suggest to the Danes that the issue be submitted to the International Court of Justice at the Hague for abritration. The Court's mandate:

'The Court has a dual role: to settle in accordance with international law the legal disputes submitted to it by States, and to give advisory opinions on legal questions referred to it by duly authorized international organs and agencies.'
http://www.icj-cij.org/icjwww/igeneralinformation/icjgnnot.html

The Liberals constantly proclaim that they believe in international law and multilateralism. Let us see the proof.

Mark
Ottawa

Posted by: Mark Collins at August 21, 2005 10:36 AM

But Hans Island is Danish, isn't it?
Why should Canada claim ownership over something that's not its own?

Posted by: Johan i Kanada at August 21, 2005 10:56 AM

Because, JohaniKanada, Denmark and Canada are governed by politicians too stuipd to see the obvious opportunity of setting a world example of Co-operative control and agreeable common beneficial use of this minor speck. 73s TG

Posted by: TonyGuitar at August 21, 2005 12:03 PM

"Every country has an army... theirs or someone elses.
-Winston Churchill

Posted by: Eastern Paul at August 21, 2005 1:46 PM

It's called Hans Island, so the Danes think it's theirs. Now, if you called it "Brian Island", or something equally Canadian, the Danes wouldn't set foot on it.

Posted by: Jeff in Pullman, WA at August 21, 2005 9:09 PM

Perhaps the Danes have softened somewhat ever since our defense minister did the queer eye makeover with Hans island. Those inukshooks are to die for, girlfriend!

Posted by: Eskimo at August 21, 2005 9:37 PM

It would be a great place for a Canadian "Gitmo". I can think of a few Libranos I'd send there to take the fresh air. You can't walk or swim anywhere from there. Medical evacs will be done by Sea King helicopters. Can you see the poor Libranos weeping, what a loveley sight!!

Posted by: Keith Thomson at August 21, 2005 11:16 PM

How's about "Hank's Island" ? Hank has a Chip Truck on the corner of Liberty and King here in Bowmanville. And a fish & chip shop farther back on King.

There's a certain symmetry there - and we can maintain that the Danes are simply misled by a spelling error - on their side.

Posted by: CERDIP at August 21, 2005 11:44 PM

As a Canadian Brian of Danish descent, I'll go with Brian Island.

Talk about inept foreign relations by our proud federal government. How can the Canadian government lecture Israel about needing to give up land to Palestinians when Canada won't even negotiate about a 1 sq.km frozen island whose ownership is in question?

Posted by: Brian C at August 22, 2005 2:47 PM

Please, if you want to make it truly Canadian, you have to go with Doug Island.

Posted by: Dave at August 22, 2005 2:50 PM

ITs obvious why Denmark wants this to go to an international tribunal and the liberals don't. The Danes know that it can go three ways, and its just a matter of time till somebody else tries the same thing with another piece of rock in the middle of nowhere. If the tribunal decides its Danish territory the floodgates open like its a land rush on the northern reaches. If the tribunal says its international territory, the US makes it known that they have been traversing the north in their nuke subs for years. Either of those two scenarios would have the US holding our nuts in their hands. If dithers thinks he could just bluff his way through it he's smoking something. The US will offer to make us a protectorate or let the world strip our "soveriegnity" away one piece at a time.

So, how do you feel about missile defence now?

Posted by: gimbol at August 22, 2005 3:18 PM

*The* perfect Canadian name:
Gord Island

Posted by: Meg Q at August 22, 2005 4:08 PM

Where I come from, we call this a "slow news day."

Posted by: Partisan Pundit at August 22, 2005 8:06 PM

Partisan Pundit, Yes, Hans Island is just a diversion while the Libranos twist parts of Bill C-11 [Whistle-Blower Protection], so that all the hundreds of Federal employees in 14 departments of government are permanently blocked from speaking out for life.

This move will almost ensure the Libscammers continue their fraudulent hold on power for years to come. Yuk!

Stealthy move eh? Too complex a story for TV. Canadians don't read the National Post or Mop and Pail much in July-August. Holidays eh?

What better time to do a Hans Island and slip in the blade even deeper. Stealth, I say.

When Will Canadians give their head a shake? 73s TG

Posted by: TonyGuitar at August 22, 2005 11:34 PM

Perhap the Americans can do something... send in the a few divisions of Marines so we can refight the war of 1812!!

Given, our government's penchant for renewing old conflicts this may be appropriate... LOL

Ooops, I forgot that the Canadians and Danes are in dispute over "HANS ISLAND" and there are far too many fatalities over in Iraq already.

Memo to self, reassert sovereignty over MY island.

Hans Island is a lump of mineral rich rock between Greenland and Canada, about 1.5 sq. km in size.

Seeing as our fair (unfair?) nations Denmark and Canada are now belligerents in this dispute; we can now characterize those dastardly Danes as cunningly plotting the invasion of Hans Island through the means of "Operation Sea Lemming".

This dastardly plot involves the training of tens of thousands of lemmings at the "Niels Bohr (Boar?, Bore?) Institute for Particle Physics" mounting an amphibious assault across the Nares strait.

En garde', we await you with fondue forks at dawn!! Make sure you bring white cheddar as a peace offering. Feta you can bring for the Greek salad.
Should be quite a feast!!

Of course those damned Americans, through the offices of "ADOLF" Coors bought up the beer maker "Canadian", so we can't even cry in our own beer. Any recommendations?

In the final analysis, Hans Island belongs to me.
As my last name is Rupprecht, which derives from the germanic "Knecht Rupprecht" aka Father Christmas who has long laid claim to the North.
This island has clearly been used for underground elf training operations for centuries.

The claims of Denmark and Canada are rendered nugatory as Father Christmas ("Knecht Rupprecht") has had long precedence in this area.
Furthermore, Hans Island is obviously named after me, and should Denmark and Canada not relenquish their claims I will use my offices to ensure that both naughty governments receive large lumps of coal for Christmas. These will be properly stoked in their kitchens, so if they can't stand the heat they should butt out!!

Alternatively, I will be tamping down my muzzle loader and await their arrival with ball and shot!

En garde, ye villains HANDS OFF MY ISLAND. Should the belligerants come to their senses they will arrive bearing gifts of white cheddar and havarti cheese, CANADIAN or JOHN Labatts Classic beer from the Canadian contingent, and Carlsberg or Tuborg from the Danish contingent.

The alternative is to be heaped with mountains of burning coal!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

I remain yours sincerely,

Hans Rupprecht
Commander in Chief of "Knecht Rupprecht" Division
Elf Operations Central Command
Hans Island

Posted by: Hans Rupprecht at August 23, 2005 1:22 PM

The real solution lies at the homestead.

Posted by: bob at August 23, 2005 3:41 PM

Maybe we could call it Trudeaus island then give it to them if they pay 600 billion in debt....

The Beaver is arthritic, old and leaking soft flaccid power.

Maybe we need a comittee at the UN to decide headed by Iran and a rep from the palestinian authority.


[b]They can sail there in the winter we cannot.[/b]

QED

It's probably winter 9 months of the year there!

Posted by: drwright at August 24, 2005 12:27 PM
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