Open Wide, Canada

News Release Jan.13, 2005;

Carol Skelton, Member of Parliament and Official Opposition Public Health Critic welcomes the announcement of a new Health Officer as initiated in her Private Members Motion.

"Following discussion with constituents, primarily Taxpayers, and consultations with lower digestive tract health professionals, I felt the time had come for Canada to have a Chief Proctological officer to monitor and assist in the improvement of anal health in Canada.  I'm pleased the government has chosen to move so quickly on my request," remarked Skelton. 

"Lower intestinal health is administered by the provinces, but the federal government is responsible for the majority of the screwing over of Taxpayers.  It is my hope that a co-ordinated effort in the areas of research and information will benefit all Canadians.  Taxpayers often don't have protection plans at a time when they are busy bending over the proverbial chair. Failing anal health leads to complications with other health matters.  If we improve anal health, we can better assist the fiscal health of all governments, thereby ensuring that the creation of ever more highly paid, completely useless government appointments.