November 23, 2004
Cattlers
Oh, just stop. They are not "beef farmers". (In fact, if one were to quibble with the details, those critters are Holsteins - dairy cows. Great lean lanky things with bone as heavy as a Budweiser Clydesdale. Holsteins are bred to convert feed to milk. When was the last time you wandered through your meat department and saw a t-bone labelled "Triple A Holstein beef"? There's a clue. And let's be honest - with the quota-controlled protectionist price supports of the dairy industry, dairymen can afford to shoot cull cows.) |  |
Compare:
 Angus steer. |  Holstein cow. |
But back to the original point. As I stated, they are not "beef farmers", for the simple reason that one does not "farm" cattle. Not even guys with mixed grain/beef operations "farm" cattle. They "feed cows", "raise calves", "run a few head". It is no more appropriate to call those who raise beef "cattle farmers" than it is to refer to reporter Ross Marowitz as a news "author" or "non-fiction writer".
I know that a dilemma faces the media when stepping into the dangerous terrain of gender-neutral nomenclature. Unlike the "fishermen", who awoke one day to discover they were now "fishers", the cattle industry is a little tougher to neuter. Really, who can say "cattler" with a straight face?
So, you insufferable fanaticist media twits dear reporters, let's stop pretending that uncomfortable three letter word doesn't exist. It does. The word is "men". M.E.N. Sound it out. "Mmmmmmmm... eeeeeeeeee...nnnnnnnn" . No really - try it. See what happens.
Did your face open up and swallow your tongue? Write it down on that reporter's pad.... "men" .... hold your breath as you wait for the paper to begin to curl in disgust ... Still nothing?
That psychological hurdle cleared, the rest is easy. Append "men" to the word "cattle". Cattle - men. Cattlemen.
See: Canadian Cattlemen's Association. Holy Cow! It's even the correct terminology, as in what they call themselves! Who knew? Don't you feel free? Once you've become comfortable with "cattlemen", the world is your prairie oyster. Push the envelope - try "stockmen".
A newsman only lives once.
Posted by Kate at November 23, 2004 7:38 PM
just made my day! I'll go back to slaughterng trees now
Posted by: Darcey at November 23, 2004 7:35 PMDont you Ranch cattle? Farming is for grain and beans and all that green stuff those silly vegetarian nit-wits outgas. Maybe it's because they don't drink real milk but some bizzaro-world soy-product - not enough amino-acids: can't think.
Posted by: -keith in mtn. view at November 23, 2004 8:03 PMIt cracks me up to see Quebec farmers protesting. They are currently the most heavily subsidized farmers in Canada. Here in Eastern Ontario, we sell our stockers to buyers from Western Quebec because with their subsidy system, they can actually make money at finishing them. Secondly, you do see fine Holstein meat in the supermarket. It is usually marketed under the other trade name, Hamburger meat. Thirdly, for dairy farmers, until the closure of the border to live cattle, a significant profit was made selling young dairy heifers to dairy farmers in the USA. I think that was the source of the initial US mad cow, she was traced back to a herd dispersal from Alberta. The fact that Canada could track back the cow, while the Americans can't is another matter. As is the matter that we have an efficient, cost effective cow registry, but can't seem to do it for guns. Rant complete!
Posted by: Reido at November 24, 2004 9:46 AM