I, Napoleon

I, Napoleon 43 Comments

The genius of the Babylon Bee…

A new California law requires businesses to provide separate restrooms for people who think they are Napoleon Bonaparte.
 
“Not providing a separate restroom for individuals who believe they are actually the 19th-century French emperor is hateful and wrong,” said Governor Gavin Newsom as he signed the bill into law Wednesday, flanked by several people dressed as Napoleon Bonaparte. “We will no longer allow these individuals to be discriminated against.”

It’s very clever. However do they think of these things?

h/t Bacardi Breezer

43 Replies to “I, Napoleon”

    1. “It’s no fault of anyone, not even the Romans” … indeed. But Gavin blames the rightwing Christians for men not having a womb anyway.

    1. Is it true that piece was performed when Prinz Dummkopf learned to tie his shoelaces or, perhaps, accomplished something equally significant earlier in his life, if you know what I mean?

      1. I know what you’re referring to…wonder if McGill switched to overhead projectors after that celebration.

        1. That wasn’t what I had in mind. I was referring to some really early in his life, like, say, around 1 or 2 years old. On the other hand, did he learn how to tie his shoelaces before he went to university or after?

        2. Then again, he was probably brought up with the idea that everything he does was cosmically significant and changed history, so why not triumphant music when he was finally housebroken?

  3. L- Should separate * **outhouses be required for those so delusional, they believe they are the Emperor, not of France, but of Canada?

    Curious minds want to know. Also, Halloween is near…

    *(One well lit, so he can practice reading his throne speech.)
    **(Methane is a possibility, w/perhaps his ex-Lady Josephine tossing in a lit match.)

    1. “It’s very clever. However do they think of these things?”

      Because it’s easy and it’s fun. You go down the path the Democrats are making and think ahead 5 years as to where their insane
      policies might lead and let your imagination do the rest.

      Here: “Dateline June 24, 2023, California has proclaimed that for NHL games beginning in 2024 all hockey pucks must come in brown and yellow in addition to black to represent minorities other than African American. Each period will have a different colored puck at the discretion of the home team.”

      See how easy that was.

      1. Nope. Because beating up the black puck is only part of the game.

        The white ice has to go. Ice can and should be black, but can alternately be brown, red, yellow, or green (Martian Rights! or St. Patty’s day). White ice should only be used for 1 game a year, and players must bow their heads in apology before stepping onto it.

        1. “White Ice should only/players must bow/apology for stepping on to it” Its Ok to step on it, but players must not step on, but float above all other ice colors out of respect.

      2. Can we give Kate credit for this satire please??
        Look at her title that we have seen here rgularly.

  6. The following amendment is needed: businesses must also supply two French divisions and a map to Moscow

    h/t Kate

  8. If those biffies serve Courvoisier, I’m changing my surname to Bonaparte. XO, s’il vous plait…..

    1. I am starting to think that the Bee is where Democrat policy writers test their ideas.

      Just look at their policies this election cycle. From the Green New Deal to defunding police, they all could have been great Babylon Bee satire pieces just a few years ago.

  10. Having “Nutbar” politicians exercising their power, is it any wonder people are massively fleeing the cities and States that keep imposing even more laws and restrictions?
    I don’t think it helped Toronto when the Mayor threatened a 60% tax increase and imposing on a whim new fines and restrictions that can change daily.

  11. Elsewhere the conservative media are reporting that the publisher of the Babylon Bee has been disinvited, as a speaker, by a religious university, after some cancel-culture leftists complained.

  13. I did a Google search and didn’t find any mention of this, but I may have used the wrong search terms. Fact check: Possibly true.

  15. They are indeed a funny bunch over at Babylon Bee. Concise and just the right amount of nastiness. My favorite this week.

    Governor Cuomo Generously Offers To Admit Trump To New York Nursing Home

  16. However do they think of these things?

    From my experience, they lurk at Glibertarians.com and then use the ideas there a couple of days later.  It’s uncanny.  The Glibs even have a candidate or two for their “prime suspect.”

    2. A two-story outhouse is an appropriate description of how Canada functions.

  20. Well this could get expensive for businesses. Having separate facilities for each preferred idiocy will require a warehouse of different washrooms and a map App, to find each nutty preference. better make that ten warehouses. Better yet, have all businesses collaborate and provide one city block of washrooms per city. Perhaps a more sane approach would be to have a small screen on the door of your one washroom, Ok, make that a large screen, that the clerk can send a text to, that displays the correct preference for each individual. That way, no matter the gender, pronoun, lgbqwerty, animal, head of state, sado machismo, psychiatric malady, physical deformation, skin color, sexual perversion, or simply preference. However, due to the resulting cascade of infinite differences, they’ll need a full time texting clerk stationed outside the washroom door. As you can see, I have devoted way to much time and headspace to this thread. This does prove though, that with enough time, a democrat can dream up anything to piss off the people they supposedly serve. How the citizens of that state can keep electing these morons is beyond rational comprehension. All the nut jobs have migrated to California…well unfortunately, not ALL, as there’s a bunch in Washington and Ottawa that also need washrooms. This could be a lucrative business model for an enterprising individual.

    1. Sort of like the toilet instruction scene in 2001: A Space Odyssey.

  21. However do they think of these things?

    As it doesn’t seem to be realized in the comments:
    Kate was referring to her evergreen I, Napoleon thread title.

    First thing I thought of when I read this elsewhere earlier.

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