Pretentiously Agonised, Part 3,046

New York Times contributor David Kaufman wants us to know that he’s rendered distraught by “subtle streams of everyday racism that course through our homes, our workplaces, and the outside world.” An endless assault that “bombards people of colour.” People such as himself. It is, we’re told, time for a “cultural reckoning.”

“For me, this reckoning begins with traffic signals.”

Needless to say, things take a strange turn.

45 Replies to “Pretentiously Agonised, Part 3,046”

  1. As a black Dad he was struck by the language at play. Too bad he was not struck by the fact that he is an idiot.

  2. Go ahead morons, change the white light to a black light. I can’t wait to hear about the results.

  3. Black lights matter?

    The last time I heard the term “black light” was while I was an undergrad, back in the Triassic Era.

      1. I lived in one of the main on-campus residences back then, and, so, I ended up attending a few keggers, usually involuntarily. After all, it’s rather hard to sleep or study when one’s floormates are trying to impress the young ladies who were present by tearing the place apart.

        At those gatherings, having a black light, and a poster which fluoresced when exposed to it, was the equivalent of “Would you like to see my etchings?” (taps side of nose)

        1. For a few runs there we had a kegger every weekend. 12.5 gallons of beer was something like $12 in the early 1970s. Throw in 2 bucks each and drink all weekend. Yes – involuntary. All my friends flunked out. I had stamina and made it to close to half my classes and keep on plugging.

          1. When I was in grad school Busch put out something called a kegger. I think it was like 2.5 or 2 gallons. You put it in the fridge and can push a button to dispense the beer. Very convenient, almost like on tap. I got one and it lasted quite a while. Then some friends came over just after I got a new one. The news went out, and whoosh, the thing disappeared just like that.

          2. my fraternity got an old fridge, cut a hole in the door for the spigot and had a permanent kegger.

    1. Yeah, let’s hope they don’t go black light….took me years to get over that psychedelic effect that kept recurring.
      On a more serious note – people like him have freed me from caring about racial issues. There’s no point.

      1. And why doesn’t this seem to bother them? It certainly bothered me.

        Very simple, you have chosen to indulge a mental disorder whilst the others have remained normal. They see the cross walk light for what it is …. a f**king crosswalk light to control traffic so that your racist butt won’t get run over … even though it seems that it should get run over as a wake-up call.

        When you look for and see racism in pretty much everything, it might just be time for you to go back to Africa where there are almost no horrid white people to haunt your stupid butt. You can then enjoy the freedom and prosperity and rights offered by African nations … and no whitey … can’t be better eh?

      2. No kidding Chris…

        Traffic lights eh.?
        He and all the other bleating imbeciles..??
        BAT SHIT CRAZY the lot.
        Society truly lost when we shut down the MENTAL institutions…Seems to me had they remained open, they’d be overflowing.

        And none of this assinine BS would be an issue without Social Media.

  4. yeah, well guess what David…..we’re all getting sick and tired of being subtle

  5. Once the white race is purged, the only other race that will survive is the yellow, the other two, for the most part, have no clue about self sufficiency, such as growing food, or using technology (using a cell phone doesn’t count).

  6. Tell you what Mr. Kaufman, if you don’t like white traffic lights because of perceived racism then just ignore all traffic lights. The same goes for white lines on the road, white crosswalk lines. At some point some other driver is apt to relieve you of your color anxieties. As a member of the “white race” I would like to apologize in advance, for the existence of the color white.

  7. Most people are long fed up with this crap. Readership and viewership of papers and tv news is at an all time low. If you are still reading newspapers and watching news, you are in the shrinking minority.

  8. Actually of any of us color mavens/former art majors will tell you white is the absence of color. My fishbelly will confirm that.

    1. Any of us physics majors will tell you that white light is the desegregated rainbow. Ergo, the rainbow flag represents segregation.

  9. Best I can remember the little man on our traffic lights is orange. I’m thinking maybe it’s a Trump ad.

  10. Just a question.
    How do idiots like this get to write bullshit for a thing called “news paper”.
    News …. hmmm, what could it mean?

    Those that claim victimhood should perhaps have their own newspaper so only those that are interested in their pretend plight would chose to buy it and read it.

    For the rest of the normal people a news, newspaper would suffice for the events of the day.

    The Calgary Herald, radio stations, the idiot tube, included in the media cartel are full of socialist justice that leaves half a page for actual news, even then it is skewed by ideology of the editors, They tell you how bad are some of those they don’t agree with, about the victims of nothingness, about the virtues of everyday criminals.

    That’s the news for you.

    Perhaps the guy thinks that there should be a white lighte for the little white man, yellow light for the little yellow man, red light for the little red man and black light for the little black man.

    Does that sound stupid? Yes. It is the new way for the world.

  11. I guess they learned nothing this week about what can happen on the road. Don’t let the white man control you. Just head right into the traffic.

  12. Here we are, living in the freest, richest, and most equitable society on the planet and what have we achieved? Making a huge proportion of the population neurotic.

    “Hey dad, I have this history question back in the 2000’s, what was the root cause of the dark age?”
    “Well child, it was too many mentally ill people spending too much time on something called social media….that and that monster Greta Thunberg”.

    1. alec
      Yep…and meanwhile in the REAL WORLD, the climate continues to cool as we slide DOWN into the Grand Solar Minimum. Can’t tell me that the constant rain and temps averaging 14C are normal for this part of the planet….wasn’t too long ago that right here in Calgary we were experiencing drought conditions with temps well into the mid/upper 30’s at this time of year.

      At least it keeps our home grown social justice (_i_)holes indoors… Small pleasures.

      1. Yup, it seems we’ve emerged from the drought quite nicely. Now, with no fires to worry about we will be told the rains are our fault for burning something. (that was the story yesterday, planet is hotter and wetter).

        When it starts to cool more because of reduced solar output, that’ll be our fault too.

  13. I see he’s already received his reparations.

    How else to describe the obviously untalented getting an education and being able to call himself a writer at a MSM outlet?

  14. Are we sure that he wasn’t struck by lightning in his youth?
    Just askin’.

  15. The sun is white. The glass is half empty every day for grievance mongers like Kaufman. Kaufman? Sounds German or such to me. White origins, better change that to Schwarz.

    1. Schwarz, huh? You racist.
      That was what the Jews in West LA called the blacks It’s German, and also Yiddish, for black. (Old spelling: Schwartz)
      David Kaufman sounds Jewish to me, named after a Hebrew king.

      Oh yeah, this racist culture. I can see his aggression. All that racist language that says white is desirable: her brow is like the snowdrift (Annie Laurie), lily white, alabaster, pure as driven snow, Snow White, white jade, milky white, white dove … In fat, the whole world is racist. He can read the Tales of Scheherazade and read how white the beautiful unfaithful queen’s skin was. He can read Chinese poetry rhapsodizing about beautiful white visages. If only Zulu wasn’t written in this dastardly Roman alphabet.

  16. Good grief!!

    How do these pathetic, thin-skinned, pasty-white wankers ever get to the ages they are.

  17. I wonder how much racism is simply people overthinking a situation or mind reading.

  18. Well thank heavens that we use black to type our posts……hmmm, but it is on a large white background, so hmmm, there’s much more white than black, so, I guess even our posts are racist! Did he ever consider that his whiny opinion article was on a white background. Time for him to self flagellate!!!

    Makes about as much sense as his opinion does.

  19. So, how does Kaufman plan on sending his twin boys to music lessons and not turn them into offended grievance machines like himself when they have to read sheet music with black notes being on white paper while they press the black and white keys? Will it then be that the pressing of black keys when playing said keyboards be intrinsically equal to the abuse which the African race has endured throughout history?

    The metaphors are everywhere when you have drank until you are drunk from the poison pool of offense.

  20. See this is the way it works. White people cross on the white dude. Black peoples cross on the black dude.

  21. I used to tell my kids that the walk symbol seemed to be authorizing white people to cross the street. They laughed then but are too mature to do so now.

  22. RE: An endless assault that “bombards people of colour.”

    My theory. The centuries old problem between whites and blacks is not because we’re opposite colours.

    All of us have colour. White is a colour, and I don’t see it as the opposite of black. High and low are not opposites. They’re just two different altitudes. Hot and cold are two different temperatures. They are not opposites. Weak and strong are just ………………………

    As for the black vs white discussions, I don’t believe we’re different because of the color. We’re different because of the DNA. And perhaps our social backgrounds.

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