First, the runners-up.
- Brenda in BC
SHINY PONY: First thing we gotta do when I am PM is round up Ezra Levant and send him to re-education camp. I'm thinking of also forcing him to go vegan and take yoga classes! Some manscaping may also be in order.
SUZUKI: Hahahahahahaha! That gets my vote!
- Rufusrastasjohnsonbrown
"Gotta help me out here Dave,it was OK when Elizabeth May was a groupie, but now she wants to be a bodyguard."
- Bestman
So I sez to the orphanage, "Why should I take your lousy $10,000 for a speech when I can get $20,000 from the homeless shelter down the street?"
And the winner...
. . . and then I told them that we needed a carbon tax, get this...
'to get Keystone XL approved.'
Send me an email and we'll get you set up with a book, Mr. Stricker.
(original post edited for results)
You're welcome Kate :)
"And then I told them I was fully qualified for the job."
Man, what a hoot, just think how we are hoodwinking the people.
Justin - And then the denier said the sun may have some effect on Earth's temperature.
"You say the climate is warming, and I'll say smoke all the pot you want - we'll corner the paranoid stoner vote!"
So the 10th level maggot says..." They should be thankful I've been eating foie gras...hahahahaha.."
"Sure, I can write sciency things for you, but you got to wait a couple of years and I'll need a pile of weed this big."
Did you see that Ass on your body guard!
... and maggots were crawling out of Harper's severed head!
"...and then I said I was for the little people!"
I can to top that David. The University paid me ten grand and supplied 10 Female Ladies as "body guards" for my one hour vacuous speech.
Media boobs
Dumb and Dumber
.
Trudeau: "then I told my mom that I am going to be Harpers Pearl Harbor",
Suzuki:
.
"So, I admitted that I did drugs as a sitting MP and the media came to my defence...but here's the kicker...the conservative mayor of Toronto did the same thing...and the media is screaming for his resignation."
". . . and then I told them that we needed a carbon tax, get this... 'to get Keystone XL approved.'"
"Not only did I charge them a $20,000 speaking fee, all I did for it was quote YOU, ha ha ha !"
Thieves and liars make good friends.
"Can you believe all these years you thought you were unelectable just because you smoked a ton of pot?"
And these little piggies are going to ... Tickle Your Balls!!
Mann! You've got quite the "hockey stick" there; may I do some stick-handling?
'...remember when you grabed mom's ass and asked if I liked candy?
Dad thought it was hillarious|
Giggity!
I like BIG NUTZ! and I cannot lie.
And then I said "Is dat ass GMO? Because Ima have to study it indefinitely in order to be sure it's safe."
Come hither, this is no mere replica poppy.
And.. those dummies keep sending us money..
"There is something about your face that reminds me of a photograph of Mommy"
If ignorance is bliss we must be the happiest people alive.
Mental illnesses can take many forms, just as physical illnesses do. Mental illnesses are still feared and misunderstood by many people, but the fear will disappear as people learn more about them. If you, or someone you know, has a mental illness, there is good news: all mental illnesses can be treated.
So I was at the Remembrance Day Ceremony, you know, supposedly thinking of their sacrifices yada, yada, and all I could think of was composting.
Praying for an asteroid
Hey David, I had some kind of fancy bean dish for lunch, have a listen to this global warming.
David: I'm a geneticist passing as an environmental genius
Justin: LOL! I'm a substitute drama teacher passing as a PM hopeful
David: ROFL!!!
Hee-hee.
Kate- You can close the contest. Give it to Jamie @ 2:42!
A meeting of the Liars club, two tokers showed up.
'and then Crystia Freeland said ..."It's increasingly the case that your job prospects are correlated not with how hard you work, not with how well you do in school, but with the job that your father had. And that's not Canada." ...What a Maroon!'
Interesting photo of two unarmed men having a battle of wits
You need balls this big to make being Prime Minister your first ever full-time job!
The charity paid me a pile THIS high for my speech!
Their gonna love that I'm making you senator and your kids senators for life!
"The CBC loves both of us, but they love me this much!"
"Damn right I can get you appointed to the senate! We can even set up separate housing allowances for each of your homes"
Then I just rubbed Duffy's head and he was a Liberal again!
"And Poof! I was the Prime Minister!
"No bullshit maaaan...the doobie I was smokin last night was THIS big!"
FruitFly and Shiny Pony in the same room... never a meteor around when you need one.
Shiny Pony: "And then I said 'We'll need a carbon tax as big as Lizzy May's @ss!'"
"I had a bag of pot THIS big, and I smoked it all, man!"
"Lets smoke another Fat one' This is killer weed..
"And then Geraldo Rivera tells me another story about my mother when she was in New York!"
" ....well I added a clause that said they both should be 15, wearing thin blouses, white cotton underwear and a note from their parents OKing them to escort me to the local fun bar..."