British columnist and novelist James Delingpole recently received an email from a yoga-teaching environmental go-getter named Daphne Tremayne, whose organization GreenTremayne ("a full service Carbon Credit retailer") sells both carbon credits and baby credits, although both products are currently out of stock and on backorder.
On her website, Tremayne implores people to stop having children ("I know! I know! Children are a cute as all get-out, but have you ever really considered how much carbon one child puts into the atmosphere?") and then casts her perky eyes on your beloved family pet:
One of the best ways to reasonably enjoy your pet and reduce your overall Carbon Footprint is to determine in advance how long your pet should live. As a family, set a date when your pet will be euthanized. One great way to teach children the value of pet euthanasia is to turn the occasion into a family celebration. For the next five years, celebrate March 10 as your pet's special day, with a family party and perhaps a visit to your pet's future burial spot. Teach your children to think of the occasion as a birthday in reverse. A predetermined euthanasia date will encourage your family to love and care for your furry friend while it's still young and playful…
What's unsettling is that a lot of similar proposals made by real environmentalists sound also like over-the-top satires, if one clicks all the links, or conservative works of comedic fiction.
Yeesh - it always turns to murder so quickly with these people.
Why don't we set a date for her?
This may be the most disturbing thing I have ever read.
How long before you are "pre-planning "the lifespan of your mother/father, children etc. ?
Scary thinking that there are actually people out there that think that way - so "progressive".
And Justthinkin at 9:33 p.m. - you are right. It never applies to them of course.
He's right, it is as impossible to satirize the greenies as it is to Hollywood celebrities. Both groups are dumb as posts and have no limits to their craziness or self-righteousness.
Give her a pet rock painted green.
-
Better yet,
drop a big green pet rock on her head.
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ACTUAL COUPON from her website!! These people are beyond sick......
I wonder if she's set her own "Reverse Birthday" and Termination Date??
(Cough-cough), uh, I'm pretty sure that's a parody site, and a pretty funny one at that.
It is satire. From the disclaimer at the bottom:
"Disclaimer: A carbon credit is a generic term for any tradable certificate or permit representing the right to emit one ton of carbon dioxide or the mass of another greenhouse gas with a carbon dioxide equivalent (tCO2e) equivalent to one ton of carbon dioxide. The hydration equilibrium constant Kh (at 25 °C) of carbonic acid is [H2CO3]/[CO2] = 1.70×10−3: Hence, the majority of the carbon dioxide is not converted into carbonic acid, but remains as CO2molecules not affecting the pH. It is an amphoteric substance that can act as an acid or as a base, depending on pH of the solution. Do you always read the small-print? Usually the folderol in the disclaimer is boring as hell! Daphne Tremayne is a fictitious character in the book Biodiesel: A Novel by George H. Monahan. That's not really a picture of her. In fact, everything at this website is satirical. Instead of wasting your time surfing the net, why not spend a few bucks and read Biodiesel: A Novel available on Amazon.com. Come on, cheapskate! Stomp down a big Carbon Footprint and buy your copy today! Don't wait for the movie. Move it., slowpoke! Why aren't you on Amazon.com right now buying the book?"
pretty slick - ya got me.
(hey - it's been a long day!)
"And the Satire Awareness award goes to....rg!" (Polite smattering of applause). Next, the "Clicking the Links" award goes to...atwoodsux!" (sustained ovation).
Yes, it is satire, folks. Delingpole makes it clear in one of the links, too, and the creators of the site spell it at my (hint-y) last link ("comedic fiction").
The work of a good satirist should not only sound perfectly sincere, but should so closely resemble the pronouncements made by the object(s) of ridicule as to be indistinguishable, so "Daphne" passes with flying colours.
The hard part of satirizing the Greenie movement, is their solutions are already ludicrous enough to be mistaken as satire.
Don't spoil their fun, rg, they so enjoy their fury. It's very similar to road rage - seemingly normal, intelligent people descending into seething anger when their fingers touch the keyboard or steering wheel. Is their a blog equivalent term for road rage? There should be. What did AOSHQ call it...becoming unmanned.
Soylent Purina?
Actually, not to be immodest but I think I was first.
Sounds like Logan's Run to me.
The green Lizard May by example first please.
The objective of satire is not to amuse but to expose.......enlighten...
However, I did get a kick out of that yoga "breathing slowly".....
Good thing it is satire, as I initialy thought that not all the people that should be are residents of the facility in which my wife worked for thirty years before she retired.
A man once said that once past a certain point, a system in collapse finds that all of its narratives unintentionally become comedy skits.
The sad thing is that it is NOT stretching the concept very much from where the loons currently stand ... to where they are actively promoting the deliberate and active destruction of humanity.
It's not like it hasn't been tried before.
I am going to try to be polite here. People who believe in such things should not have pets. Ever!
You're right, LC Bennett (10:17), but I wasn't entirely sure at the time. In the post I noted that other environmentalists' proposals come across as satire, so when you wrote "he's right, it is...impossible to satirize the greenies...", the indeterminate pronoun prompted me to assume that you were referring to me. Also, I've learned to assume that people don't necessarily click the links.
I am officially yanking the "Clicking the Links Award" from atwoodsux's fingers, and am handing it to you.
Funny how these people are always anti people except when it concerns themselves.
By the way I am thinking of creating a web site to sell fairy dust credits, since I need to get a new roof put on one of my barns.
Thanks, I used he because Deli's name is too damn long to type.
And I'll bet she votes too.
I think it's a great idea! She's just a little slow in thinking it's original. Ranchers and farmers have been doing it for generations, they call it going to market. I think they deserve a carbon credit for all those years their stock err.. pets won't be eating plants and spewing methane.
But we should all still do what we can to save the planet by using renewable energy sources...
I'm doing my part.
I've converted my old Ford big block 4X4 to run on seal oil.
There aren't many things more renewable than seals, the newfies having been trying to wipe them out for centuries and they keep coming back!
I'm quite sure her best before date has long passed....why is she still here?????the party will be had...////
Soylent Green is people! It's people!
Indeed, how long before the left makes us start killing our own family members in such a manner to "save the planet"? They always start small with their schemes and then when we get used to eating their $hit they pile on some more. When you are innoculated against the pain of putting your pets down for no reason it will eventually make it easier for these pieces of $hit to influence you into starting on your elderly and sickly family members. Time to stock up on ammo to get ready for the revolution because once the NDP takes power there will be a lot of us getting chosen to be put down like sickly pets because our free speech and political views don't fall in line with theirs.
LOL! I was reading the website small print and saw it is satire. Too funny. Very creative way to sell a book.
However, the paragraph saying we should slow down our breathing is actually something I once heard a greentard say with a straight face on a Youtube video a few years back. He honestly thought that humans exhaling CO2 was destroying the planet and that we should consciously cut our breathing in half. I thought he was joking until I watched his other videos. What a whack job!
Delingpole got took, too, but don't hold your breath waiting for him to admit it.
Actually, having more people on earth has been proven to be beneficial over "pol-potting" it's population. The statement posed by Genesis 1:28 that commanded us to "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth" has never been refuted on the basis of fact.
Greenie elites are just mass murderers in a hurry.
The more patient and moderate ones are content
with the inferior surplus beings devoting themselves
to sex and various intoxicating substances
providing they don't reproduce.
.
Nick (12:35), if you Google "GreenTremayne" (or "Daphne Tramayne" (albeit that's also the name of a fictional character in a novel, so you get a lot of those results) you'll see that a *lot* of people have been taken in. (For one example, click the very last link ("comedic fiction") and scroll up past the linked-to comment to the main post.)
It's not surprising that people might think it's the real thing, because
1) "Daphne's" pronouncements are no more implausible-sounding than those of many high-profile environmentalists like Pentti Linkola.
2) It's great satire. Like I said earlier in the thread, good satire should so closely resemble the pronouncements of the object(s) of ridicule as to be indistinguishable at first glance. By that standard alone, it's really well done.
Having people take a piece of satire seriously, at least at the outset, is the whole point of the exercise.
Considering the 10.10 Climate Change Campaign exploding heads video a couple years ago and that Finnish b@$%*&d who wants to depopulate the planet it is difficult to distinguish between real green meanies and those who mock them.
The good folk of Vancouver were thrilled to bits yesterday when a pod of Orcas (Killer whales) set up housekeeping in and around English Bay (in the heart of Vancouver). Well they weren't there for the tourist attractions. This highly unusual event was focused on the smorgasbord of Vancouver's other cute citizens, the Harbour seals.
"Let's take the kids down to the beach to see the whales, Dear."...
If you folks liked the web page, you'll love the book. I hope you read Biodiesel: A Novel and have a good laugh at the expense of the "Daphnes" of the world.
MOCK THE LEFT!
I too found this one of the most disturbing things I've read in a long time. The leering face of sheer evil flashes through the miasma of black comedy. These are the *same* people who operated Birkenau with a smirk.
I mean, how many times have we been told that serial killers start out on pets and other small animals? Rather than the watermelon (green on the outside, red on the inside) we need a better definition. What is green on the outside and brown(-shirted) on the inside?
At least Daphne Tremaine is against animal testing (sarc).
But she's in there with the creeps who devised the "falling polar bear" commercial, and the "exploding heads" video,
which for me were things not to forget.
I think we are finding a wholly unknown category, let's call them "socialized psychopaths", who are strongly attracted to the Green movement.
Come to think about it, both the French Revolution and the Bolshevik Revolution seem to have had a fair share of such people.
Kill the Family Dog Day! Tell me it's satire. Please.
The satire isn't broad enough. I've read crazier sh1t than this from people who were 100% serious and employed at a university.
You can't lampoon the Left anymore. They've jumped the shark so many times in the last 20 years that humor isn't much of a weapon anymore. Truthfully reporting what they actually think is far more effective.
Hitting them with pointed sticks is starting to look like a really good backup plan.
Satire?
Like a hair in your soup, carbon credits are not funny!
The Phantom at July 4, 2012 9:18 AM
"Hitting them with pointed sticks is starting to look like a really good backup plan."
Aye....It's a small step from calling someones religion wrong religion/race to stuffing them in gas chambers....
These green depopulation notions are no different than Pol Pot's insanity.....
The Kymer Rouge victims were selected mostly on a racial basis....ethnic chinese....who wore glasses because they could read.
Remember the Greenies’ disgusting video, “1010: No Pressure”, where those non-compliant with the eco-fascists’ agenda were blown up? (Warning: graphic scenes—but the blood and guts aren’t real!)
http://watchingthedeniers.wordpress.com/2010/10/03/own-goal-10-10-no-pressure-video-a-disaster/
One would think that this disaster of a promotion of green values would have been made by those of us who disagree with the Greenies. But no: the Green idiots actually made it themselves. One can’t get stupider than that!
People were so disgusted, the quite professionally done ad (with Gillian Anderson, no less), which cost a huge amount of money, was pulled almost immediately.
So, when I first read about “Daphne”, I had no trouble thinking it was the real thing. As John Cleese said long ago, “Satire’s dead.” The real thing these days—like the “No Pressure” video—is often beyond what the best satirist could come up with. As we know, the Greenies are deluded, dangerous nuts.
Shades of blade runner...
The Phantom at July 4, 2012 9:18 AM
"Hitting them with pointed sticks is starting to look like a really good backup plan."
Ugh! Too risky. Getting close to them and possibly getting their blood on me could land me with HIV or hepatitis. I'm sure most of these greentards are intravenous drug users judging by their crazed behavior and lack of responsibility. Wouldn't doubt that they share needles as well. I'd rather hit them with my car or double tap them when they gather in large numbers and become violent and destructive.
So, the eco-psychos are not only holding human live in contempt , they hate all mammals.
One idea stands out on this page:
"Enjoy rampant poverty in Africa, you can make a deal!" ..what an idiot!
Phantom (9:18), re "the satire isn't broad enough", broad satire essentially means "dumb satire" or "mockery". Broad satire, like the political sketches on SNL that crudely characterize Republicans and conservatives, loudly announces itself so that no one can miss it: "Ha ha ha, look everybody, we're mocking those idiots!"
Good (or incisive) satire mocks the arguments of the other side incisively by using - climbing inside - their own thought processes, and closely mimicking their characteristics.
Lookout (10:54), I think "Daphne's" campaign is an encouraging sign that satire is not completely dead -- it made me laugh, anyway. I thought the bit about encouraging your children to think of what amounts to an execution watch for a beloved pet as a "birthday in reverse", for example, perfectly (i.e. accurately) satirizes the creepy, disordered, "building a better world" prescriptions of the Greenies. Well done satire (ala Mark Twain) can be a powerful weapon.