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Honey, I Finished The Internet

By Kate on May 26, 2012 10:13 PM | 14 Comments

Shut up and eat your Corn Flakes.

h/t peterj

14 Comments

robins111 | May 27, 2012 12:03 AM | Reply

That was painful just reading about it...

robins111 | May 27, 2012 12:04 AM | Reply

He must be Heather Malice's father, or she's cloned off him.

Warren Z | May 27, 2012 12:18 AM | Reply

They made a movie on him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ4yvfzBt-c

sasquatch | May 27, 2012 1:29 AM | Reply

Yeah that movie..."The Road to Wellville" on touched on the tip of the matter....Kellogg was barking mad....

What is fascinating is the fad of rolling just about anything as a health food....Battlecreek Mi was breakfast cereal central....scads of companies were spawned to exploit the fad....

Oz | May 27, 2012 1:39 AM | Reply

From rotten.com one of the linked blogs
"Like many Christian conservatives before and since, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg believed that masturbation, and in fact all sexual excess, was sinful -- "sexual excess" here defined as "sex for anything beyond reproduction"."

Kellogg wasn't a Christian he was SDA, as in the Seventh Day Adventist cult.
The "meat drives sexual desire" heresy was one of SDA 'prophet' Ellen White's ideas and is the driving meme behind SDA's vegetarian diet.
Kellogg was just one of Ellen White's many devoted nuts and flakes.

eastern paul | May 27, 2012 2:53 AM | Reply

He came up with the anal smoothie way before its time.

genius.

Fearless Leader | May 27, 2012 8:39 AM | Reply

Now I know why Pee Wee Herman always ate Corn Puffs on his TV show.

John Lewis | May 27, 2012 12:34 PM | Reply

In Kellogg's generation masturbation seems to have been regarded as considerably worse than homosexuality.
This judging from readings and from conversations with my maternal grandfather.

As for pain - well, in those days a dose of turpentine would fix whatever ailed you.

Neo | May 27, 2012 1:27 PM | Reply

Kellog must have been fond of cats and way ahead of his time.
His unspoken mantra - Save the kittens!

spike 1 | May 27, 2012 2:51 PM | Reply

For those that did'nt know,Dr.Kellog developed the health foods corn flakes etc but it was his brother,W.K.Kellog who worked for his brother in the hospital that recognized the potential of dry,cold cereal and started a company to market it. W.K. just took the recipies and an industry was born.

The Glengarrian | May 27, 2012 3:08 PM | Reply

Wow. Kinda makes the threat "don't play with yourself or you will go blind" seem mild in comparison.
That yogurt treatment brings a whole new meaning to bowl blaster.

nold | May 27, 2012 5:07 PM | Reply

In a way that story is kind of refreshing. In them good ole days it was your own dime, and you could take your own whims and peculiarities as far as that dime would take you.

Robert of Ottawa | May 27, 2012 7:34 PM | Reply

Oh thank you so much for such depravity. I'm sure some Muslims will be looking up Carbolic Acid in their dictionaries right now. yeuch!

mhb | May 27, 2012 8:39 PM | Reply

"He came up with the anal smoothie way before its time"

hahahahahahaha!!! Killer.

mhb23re

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