It wasn't until I was about 26 or 27 that I had an a very important epiphany while teaching economics in college. What triggered the epiphany was a group of loud, obnoxious, misbehaving 20 something female students. They were rude, arrogant, but above all else, immature. They would talk while I was lecturing. They would whine about the difficulty of math involved. They would plagiarize and then whine when I caught them. No sane man would ever date these shrills.
Then it dawned on me, "Wait! When I was their age, I was slobbering all over them! Did I just NOT NOTICE???"
Of course when you're in the thick of it, boys or young men have no clue just what a lion's den they've entered. They have no context, they have no hindsight, and worst still, they are misinformed forcing them to operate from incorrect premises. I was taught by my mother that women wanted nice boys to do nice things for them. I was also taught that girls matured faster than boys, let alone, I could not personally believe young women could have such attitudes, be so petty and be so childish. Cementing all this was a simple, nearly impervious logic;
"What is statistically more likely? I'm having trouble with women because there's something wrong with me? Or I'm having trouble with women because there's something wrong with all 150 million of them?"
Ergo, there HAD to be something wrong with me, and any kind of notion or theory about "a society-wide entitlement princess problem" was surely laughable.
Of course, as time goes on, you look back and empirical evidence builds, you finally permit yourself the arrogance to say
"No, there's nothing wrong with you, there is actually something wrong with society."
not because you are arrogant, but because that's the sad, depressing reality of the situation.
Now, the price young men and boys must pay to inevitably come to this epiphany is uncalculable. The financial costs of going to night clubs to meet girls, the opportunity costs of time wasted pursuing these 20 something entitlement princesses, not to mention the sheer mental costs boys and men suffer as their brains cannot reconcile this childish behavior with logic or just common decency cannot be tallied. Heck, some guys NEVER figure this out. Thankfully, the "manosphere" and various web sites are slowly coming around to the rescue to provide some kind of guidance or wisdom to young boys and men today so they do not have to suffer the inanity we did and can live better lives. But there is a problem.
And I can only imagine the hell the poor boys of this upcoming generation are going to suffer when their natural male hormones kick in and they're told;
"There's something wrong with you, not society."
"Girls mature faster than boys."
"Oh, girls your age love flowers and poetry and being treated nice."
"You're just not going to the right places to meet girls."
"Open doors for girls."
"Girls like sensitive caring men."
Thanks. I thought I was only one.
Too soon old, too late smart. Happens to everyone.
Thousands of dollars, thousands of hours, thousands of wasted thoughts and ideas ... that's what it took for me to come to that conclusion. Most of my twenties was spent chasing after girls like that.
When I finally came to my senses, it took hardly no time at all to find a decent, intelligent, fun and attractive girl to settle down with.
I often wonder, however, if it took all that pain and stupidity to realize exactly what I really needed in a woman.
That's why I came to Europe to find an eastern European beauty.
There is one word that marks the difference between a girl raised in transitional Hungary and one raised in a country swimming in affluence and ease:
UNGRATEFULNESS
Girls mature faster than boys when everyone's around 10-14. And overaged boy-brats are just as repellant as overaged girl-brats. I've had so many encounters with both that I'm on the verge of stoppething one of three to tell my tale. I'm a misogynist just like all women so I wouldn't say it if it weren't true. BTW I was onto this around the age of 10, so what took y'all so long?
Conscription for everyone.
-"Now, the price young men and boys must pay to inevitably come to this epiphany is uncalculable."--
I think the word you want here is -INcalculable-.
When I was a boy I was taught that females were fragile and to be treated as special because of that.
Later, sometime in the '70s, I was taught they were equal.
It was a difficult adjustment, particularly because the women seemed to want to be treated special and equal both at the same time.
Now I just treat them as equals as much as possible, oftentimes they don't like that.
Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
~Friedrich Nietzsche
Black Mamba; Amen to the National Service thing! The sooner the better.
pole dancing studio opened up across the street where i live on 17th ave SW calgary. Never busy and im expecting it to go broke soon.On the other hand yoga classes with lulu lemon strecthy pants much more busy.both a waste of time and money.
And more than a few of these guys. like my son who was taught by me and my wife who must have come from a different planet, told him how to treat the girls of today. We told him exactly what the writer of the piece wrote and guess what....his now ex told him 6 months ago, out of the blue, she just wasn't happy, packed up his 3 kids and went straight to a lawyer that will keep my son in the poor house for the next 20 years trying to maintain two residences totally enabled by the "justice" system of our wonderful country. He has no problem with the fact that he has three children to support. The problem is that he thought he had a family like "mom and dad".
I never saw such creatures when I was in undergrad...of course, that was in the 80s. Being in the math and physics programs may also have had something to do with that :-)
It certainly is a depressing state of affairs. I'm in my early 30's and going back to school after years in all-male work places (military, oil industry) and I've been rather shocked at how immature the vast majority of my twenty something classmates are, especially the women.
Hearing them speak amongst themselves before, during, and after class is like being forced to listen to a Dove soap commercial on a perpetual loop: "I'm beautiful, I'm special, I DESERVE _____." They all profess to be 'non-judgmental' as a matter of course, but for some strange reason can't figure out why the heavily tattooed, unemployed, borderline alcoholics they all seem to date don't behave like Colin Firth.
Ah well. A few young women still know the value of behaving like ladies, but they're certainly a dying breed.
Girls are petty and rude when they learn that boys will slobber over them no matter what they do. The conduct of anyone will go down when actions and attitudes have no consequences.
Doug- Hope you didn't buy one of those Russians. Your bliss may be short-lived.
I'm not sure why you're conflicted, captain. Since your (very public)revelation that you have no intention of reproducing, you could easily get along without women. The vibes you're experiencing are all part of the mating/reproduction process. Your abandonment of this ritual should liberate you from its annoying details. At this point, you could swing the other way, if it would make you more comfortable.
The pole dancing 'studio' in the link,is way over the top.
If a mom wants her child to be a stripper,she has problems.
If a mom thinks that this is just innocent fun,she has problems that aren't as apparent.
Note to the Captain:
You are unmatched in your ability to demonstrate and convey economic truths and the resulting realities.
But, it seems you've only got two other rant topics in your repertoire:
1) To whine about superficial women (which is really just a statement about your inability to respect the women you've met who you find attractive - because there really are good ones out there.)
2) To talk about your vasectomy and about how it is foolish for people to do the completely normal act of starting a family.
When you're reduced to broadcasting (to complete strangers) details about your issues with women and what you have had done to private parts, I think it's safe to say you've jumped the shark.
Maybe you should think about packing it in rather than riding on Kate's coat-tails.
Hi Coach,
Eh, no. I like batting for this team. Found a keeper of a girl. Just saw the article about kid pole dancing and realized I do have somewhat of a responsibility to the younger males out there who are about to hit Omaha Beach and don't even know it yet.
I also am all for 1-2 years of mandatory military service after school, and my 2 daughters would be included.
What frustrated me and what also finally turned me into an "a-hole" before meeting my smart and responsible wife, was that I was trained to be a gentleman yet it seemed as if the women were not trained to offer an equal compliment. I don't know how many times I was told that I was "too nice"(by girlfriends and friends), but those ex-girlfriends sure enjoyed the mass amounts of money and efforts I put into the relationship. All for nothing. All for a myth that being a "good" guy was some how beneficial to the relationship.
I am not suggesting that I became an unfaithful man or somehow indulged into the "greaser" lifestyle once I realized being a gentleman wasn't fruitful, I am just saying that my wife received a tainted man that I preferred not to have happened.
In regards to my daughters and how they are being raised, the oldest is 3 but she is being well versed into the lifestyle of independence. She has already started coming out scouting with me for hunting(and that started at 2). She helps around the yard, she helps when my wife is cooking, she is expected to clean her own messes and she is also expected to the listen the first time. Some might feel that we are too harsh, but at age 3 she asks to help as well.
For my wife's sake, it would have been nice to had dated more independent women and not entitled women.
With some exceptions, women were actually pretty decent in my generation (and so were men). It really wasn't until the '80's and '90's that you could notice the stark changes -- after 20 years of radical feminism turned women into a permanent "victim class", and men into permanent "abusers". Irresepective of whether or not there was in fact any individual victim/abuser relationship following that model.
I was in a position to notice that stark change probably better than many Canadians because I was living abroad in a totally different culture for most of that era. When I returned to Canada I couldn't understand why Canadian heterosexual men were acting so effeminate. Of course the men didn't notice the change in their behaviour because it happened so slowly -- over the course of a couple decades. As an expat returning however, the change was a stark contrast to the former culture.
But the worst part about it is now that I have been back here for almost two decades, it seems that no matter how effeminate Canadian men are required to be, it is never enough. It has reached the point where there is almost a complete role-reversal.
Case in point: the female Page in Parliament who protested and was fired held her head up high and was defiant in the aftermath. While the young man Nathan who was busted in the recent Vancouver riot cried like a baby with the typical public TV whimpering (albeit phoney) confession usually exhibited by males. And his equally wimpish pussy Daddy lead the family to flee and abandon their home to avoid any backlash -- whether real or imagined.
When was the last time you saw a Canadian woman so cowardly and whimpering like that?
Sure, Bryce, I'll get right on that. In the meantime how many times have you been invited to guest write for Kate? ;)
Not being an expert in these affairs and having been married to the same woman for forty-seven years, when I think of what happened to a few of those in my age group, to even more in the next decade and almost an epidemic in the next two decades, I am sure glad I do not have to look for a female mate today.
Although I am sure that there are many fine young women that want a family.
Some days ago we discussed educational options for young women and men on this blog. It seemed that many young men are opting out of responsible relationships and foregoing higher (not necessarily better) education for trades, driving truck etc.
Between the government appetite for taxes, tax policies and the efforts of radical leftists/feminists to destroy the family, men and women have to some extent lost their way.
"Maybe you should think about packing it in"
Speaking of ungrateful.
Keep it up Captain, I enjoy coming here every day. I also enjoy being able to comment and suspect if the bitchiness doesn't subside a degree or two I'll come here one day to find others opinion and perspective no longer available.
There have been warnings.
Sorry guys - never had to experience this. Met my wife when we were 16. She met my parents and they both told me (separately) - if you break up, we are going to keep her instead of you.
There are some great women out there. Tell them, "you're my princess, but I won't put up with you acting like one". If they are still there 15 seconds later, keep 'em. If not, it saved you a lot of time.
Oh, and don't base it solely on looks. They don't last. As Ron White said, "You can't fix stupid".
I think the point that needs to be made is that males need to be educated on the pros and cons of relationships, and what to look and look out for. My experience for education has been just "go out there and see what happens" for boys, where girls seem to have a checklist and training.
Train the males, make it an even playing field, and let them know there is a whole world of women with different cultures out there to find a mate in. Seems to me that SKite's parents knew that and taught their son well. No need to apologize SKite; you should hold up your experience as an example. A cousin of mine had a similar story, and his wife is just plain awesome.
Don't take The Captain's warnings and educational posts as signs he is against women; he is just putting out warnings of what is happening in North America today. Make sure you and any males in your life are educated and trained in terms of relationships, and you/they should be fine. There really are some great women here in North America. Also though, lose the attitude that foreign women make poor brides while you're at it. I travel the world for work, and it opened my eyes to women and relationships; my personal experience is that foreign women are much better marriage material. However, that is my personal experience. For every story about a foreign marriage going to hell, I am sure a person can tell two about all-Canadian marriages that go to hell.
In short, educate yourself, figure out what YOU want, and don't limit your options to only the local scene.
Finally: "Doug- Hope you didn't buy one of those Russians."
Wow, talk about bigoted comments against Russians. Pretty much everything after that was just "blah blah blah" to me. After an opening statement like that, I am sure there was nothing else of value in the post.
Doug @1:51 - and the great thing about eastern European bee-atches is, if she's UNGRATEFUL, well, you've got her passport, am I right? I mean, she better make you happy, or else... not like Wasserface from highschool. The one with the attitude...
Try an Indonesian model, hero, they're really frightened of being sent home. Good girls, good times.
I find the Cpt's contributions to SDA both provocative and thoughtful. That goes for things economic and socio/political.
Of course economics and the "liberal arts" are mutually exclusive...
Jeez, Cap, I suspect you couldn't get laid in a Nevada cathouse even if you had a wallet full of $1000 bills.
I spent my teens in a quandary. I was a great student, a good athlete, had a job, went to a private school, was polite and well mannered, didn't drink, smoke, or do drugs - think I could get a date?!
Figured it out in university. Started treating women like dirt when I was around the guys in my frat (different thing in private). Made fun of their ignorance (I was an engineer who actually knew something of philosophy and literature, so it wasn't hard), made crude comments about the best and worst features of their anatomy, and generally played to the crowd.
Had to beat the women off with a stick. What women want, and what they say they want are very different things.
@5:48 - "you're my princess, but I won't put up with you acting like one".
SKite, if you have to talk like that to your - what - 16 year-oldchild-bride thingee, and she's cool with it, neither one of you should be allowed to breed, let alone with each other.
Are you sharing your thoughts on the smartest blog in Canada, or on a weird reality show?
And right on time the cyber-village idiot shows up.
Specious personal attacks rather than dealing with the content of the thread.
Lloyd...let me bring you up to speed. The feminization of western culture is having some unintended consequences...try to keep up.
Well, I'll withdraw my suggestion. Congratulations on finding a suitable partner. Be forewarned, most men and all women have parental urges at some point in their lives. Mine didn't happen til age 30. Better be prepared for more surgery, or an adoption. All in all, I have trouble dealing with young women, though most of my dealings are with athletes, who already have a different attitude. I just ignore it, and stick to what I know. Women are like cats, if you ignore them, they're attracted to you. Not that I care about that any more.
I don't think I've seen this much bitterness since watching newly divorced tradesmen sporting the obligatory "I Hate Women" T-shirts and, from what I saw, many of them were actually justified in feeling this way.
But the younger 20&30-somethings in the dating game? I must admit that I do find it difficult to believe that all young women are this shallow and stupid. I'd say the ratio of stupid to serious is about the same for males and females at this age. For example, is there any group of people with a bigger chip on their shoulder than young men?
Meeting people in bars is doomed to failure in most cases. The young people most attracted to that scene are also the least likely to be interested in a mature relationship and intellectual conversation. If it is really your only option then choose the girl who looks like she would rather be anywhere else.
LC Bennett
Assuming bitterness as a motivation rather then frustration belies it's own perspective.
I'm now of the age where any interaction with such 20-something females is in one of 2 categories:
- Family. It's like they have to talk to me.
- Money involved. This includes "Would you like fries with that sir" and those I talk to at work. I especially "love" the ones who diss me if they think I can't help their career.
It may very well be the product of frustration but how often is this frustration self-inflicted.
One of the operators I worked with wanted desperately to be in a relationship, marriage, kids, the whole deal. Because we are about the same age, he would test out his newest pick-up lines on me (awful, BTW, but so pathetic they were cute - like a really ugly puppy). Yet, he always attempted to find his true love at the local dive/bar and inevitably choose the most damaged and manipulative girl available. Then he would get depressed about his newest heartbreak.
Like the good captain admits, it was his choice to exclude "nice" girls from Asia and Wisconsin.
Guys seem just as likely to pursue the bad girls as girls are to pursue the bad boys. Eventually, the smart ones learn to avoid repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
LC Bennett
As someone who resembled your last remark, I concur...Either sex can find the pathological attractive at their own peril.
I posit, given our current judicial system, that young men are more likely to learn something meaningful from the experience than the gals.
On the light side ...
I'm well past the twenty-somethings now(whew!!)
Something I was told in my twenties regarding first dates was that when you drove up to a gal's house, you locked up the car before you went in her home.Upon coming back out you unlocked her door and held it for her while she got in.
You then went around to the driver's side and if she hadn't reached over and lifted the button on the driver's door for you then you were forwarned of what to expect.
A smart man would file that under caution.
However modern cars with keyless entry and alarm systems tossed that one out the door!
I wasted my entire life with such women.
I didn't look for the women who possessed real strength - like Carolyn Ingalls on Little House. A woman who stood by her man, her family, God, and country.
I saw a bunch of cute, teenage girls on the train. They were girls I would have drooled over in my teens. They were shallow, vulgar, stupid, disrespectful, immature, and unrefined.
I've been accused by supposedly "strong" women of offending their delicate sensibilities and demeaning their minimal importance. Society has deemed me a malcontent and a miscreant. Little women count their victories in the number of big men they bring down. Little men count their victories by the number of women before whom they degradate themselves and their manhood.
I raise my glass and propose a toast to Kate, to Sarah Palin, to Michelle Bachman, to Tammy Bruce and others who stood up and said, "I roar!" and I just happen to be a damned fine woman too.
Never had much trouble with women. Mocked the hell out of the pretty pretentious ones, was nice to the nice ones, outright showed my teeth to the mean ones.
Surprising how often the stuck-up Princess will come home with you when you make fun of her attitude. Not worth keeping her around long of course, Princess usually gets by on her looks and has no other redeeming qualities.
Women in N. America commonly have no honour. Their word is no good. They lie. They conceal. They cheat. Worst, they see no problem with any of it. They are entitled to do so by virtue of being women.
After test driving many of them and being aquainted with a couple hundred over the years, I know maybe five or six I could lend money to with the expectation of getting it back
OK, it seems there's a confusing element of morals/sexuality in the mix. We shake our heads at the seeming depravity creeping into society. For the record.... it disturbs me too.
But, think back to WW11 and the liberation of Europe where the liberators were swarmed by the eager young femmes throwing themselves at the conquering heroes. Not much discussion about morality, war brides, etc. then. (Seems to me there's primeval work in play here).
The difference is, those men were glorified; today they'd be villified!
In fairness I should add that five is about the number of men I know who I'd trust with my truck. Possibly I'm a little hard to get along with, but otoh I still have my money and my truck.
Ladies know what honour is. Women generally don't, IMHO.
Tell them they have to join the armed forces and go overseas and defeat the Taliban or learn to live under Sharia law when their numbers increase here.
Did I hear a pin drop, Princess?
Incidentally the cure for oversexualization of girl children is
A) no television, at all, ever. Selected movies only. If that. Obviously no video games.
B) no dance classes! Dance in our present society is Young Strippers In Training. Parents, be warned.
C) Kung Fu, Karate, Kendo, Aikido or Tai Chi are all -excellent- for kids to learn all the balance, coordination etc. they need. Safer than team sports, and you learn HONOR. Note that honor is not "good sportsmanship" "self esteem" or any other of the happy slappy buzzwords they use to sell you soccer and hockey classes.
D) If the kidz is studying, they aren't out practicing their slutwalk skillz with their little friends.
Don't be sad. We'll always have each other. :-)
I protest!
The MAJORITY of the girls I dated in college were from Wisconsin and Asia.
Captain- thanks for posting a subject that will draw flack from the Political Corrections blogostute.
Being 35 years on this planet we call earth I've learned some harsh lessons as well.
I learned later than you that it's a game that you can't win. Pregnancy scares after they assured birth control just to see how I'd react and psych games after games after games when all I wanted was
HONESTY!!!!!!!!!
I will marry a honest woman.
I will not marry a player.
And seeing so many older(40-50 something) guys getting screwed by women who see nothing but $ as being the end game of marriage makes me sick.
So if I as a 30- something bang and heartbreak all the 20somethings that throw themselves at me consider it payback.
And to the 40- somethings women that are bitter and power tripping hateful to me just remember:
YOU MADE ME HATE YOU
What a loverly bunch of coconuts standing in a row...
I realize that the court system is stacked up against men, that women hold the balance of power when it comes to procreation, that men have less and less say in how their lives are going to turn out. That being said...
Guys did your mammas not explain to think with the head on shoulders in stead of the one behind your zippers?
You laugh, but most of those chicks I dated in my twenties were a lot less use and for the most part less fun to be around than my truck. I've had it longer than any of them too.
At least it sits there quietly and doesn't bitch that I should make more money so I can buy it chrome rims.
Oh, come on! There are as many guy a-holes out there as girls. It is a societal problem but not one related to gender. You are speaking of girls who say they want one thing but go for another - there are so many guys who just chase after the hottest girls irregardless of her inner qualities and then they wonder how they end up with a demanding, immature, witch of a wife who leaves them and they are screwed. Well, they didn't pay any attention to the nice, loyal, not as pretty girl who was trying to catch their eye so I don't really feel that bad for them. It goes both ways.
The immature behavior of todays 20 somethings exists in both males and females. I, too, think mandatory military service is a must to get rid of this rediculous problem of entitlement and disrespect that our society is breeding.
If men didn't need sex would they talk to women?
Holy smokes, and I thought I was the only one who felt that way. There is more truth to what the Captain posted than most will ever realize.
I once wrote a letter to the paper, this is now 25 years ago, when I was still in high school, saying similar things to what was said in this post. It created a huge stir, which delighted me no end.
In general finding a pleasant and reliable female mate in today's world is one hell of a difficult process. Most young women today don't view men as a particularly useful asset beyond their sperm. This is due to years of left-wing indoctrination. It is not fashionable to be kind and loving to a man, a sign of weakness in the eyes of feminist ideology.
I plan to give my two young sons as much guidance as they will accept. It isn't going to be easy for them.
I am extremely lucky. My wife is one of those rare diamonds, and many of my male friends view her her with awe and wish they had the same.