Anthropogenic Continental Drift

Brilliant satire.

Sounds innovative, but it would be best to stop now.

Unless there is a way for everyone(including those who do absolutely nothing)to make something of this, it would be better untouched.

Those who see a global use of this so called "lubricant" will probably be blamed for atrocities unseen like, warmth, mobility and electricity.

Due to increased oil drilling and mining we are causing a gradual release of pressure off the tectonic plates thus gradually creating a frictionless environment and causing a incremental increase of speed in continental drift. If man continues his current rate of drilling and mining we will slam into Japan at a rate of between 1 and 4000 mph in approximately 5 years. Action must be taken now if we are to avoid this catastrophic event.

Anthropogenic Brain Deterioration

Symptoms: The owner of the afflicted brain stops using logic and facts to make decisions, and instead draws seemingly random conclusions which are unsupported by all except those similarly afflicted.

Causes: Spending too much time reading the NY Times, the Washington Post, Newsweek, Time, or living in France.

Is ACD mann made - shall I count on paying gravity taxes?

Yes we should do everything we can to stop this. Maybe Sarah Palin was predicting the future. She really could see Russia from her house very soon.

I remember back when I took a geology course about 50 years ago that the theory of continental drift was very controversial. One school (the deniers?) claimed that it was mere coincidence that the coastline of the Americas matched the coastline of Africa/Europe and the other claimed that the continents were moving apart. The lecturer in one section of the course taught the former and the other section taught the latter, thus making final exam questions difficult to formulate. Since that time the question has been resolved and the plate techtonic theory developed. I don't think the media were very much involved in the debate, otherwise there probably would have been a major worldwide panic.

Gondwanaland here we come baby !

Well, we've seen before how bad it can get:
"AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC
Tired of Being Isolated and Ignored, Continent Isn't Bloody Moving"
http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/australia.shtml

Well, we've seen before how bad it can get:
"AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC
Tired of Being Isolated and Ignored, Continent Isn't Bloody Moving"
http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/australia.shtml

Sorry for the double post. It said it hadn't gone through -- really!

Once again the right-wing neocons show that they are merely the puppets of BIG OIL. There is a simple non-evasive enviro-friendly way to stop this drift that is completely natural and will benefit everyone. Sails. We must construct huge sails,made of hemp,and when the breath of Gaia blows in the right direction,the sails go up. This will create thousands of sustainable green jobs that will benefit all.For added value,the sails can be used as giant billboards,or to honour those who promote the right values.

The science of ACD is at least as viable as the science of AGW

We don't need no stinking giant sails, especially ones with Al Gore's picture on them.

The science of ACD is at least as viable as the science of AGW

Better not build any drag strips facing in the wrong direction, one good burnout and we could end up next to France! Being next to Quebec is bad enough, thanks.

Amazing, the lengths to which one must go to satirize the Left. And you freaking Lefties wonder why we mock you.

wallyj, your comment shows what a smelly hippie you are. Hemp sails, pah! How 18th century.

What obviously needs to be done is to take all those windmills you hippies made us build and run them backwards by burning the slippery oil which is making the continents slide around.

Just add some hydraulic steering gear, and stupid hippie wind farm become efficient station keeping engine to defeat the ACD caused by you blasted hippies!

I'm starting a windmill-to-engine refitting company! Who wants to buy shares? Maybe we can start a government department to fund wind engines for Africa, so it doesn't drift off to Antarctica and freeze all the jungles and monkeys and stuff!

the train has left the station and there is not enough friction to stop it.
Surrendering Canada's soverenity to a world government.
Where will us dissenters run and hide from the world police?

If continents are getting closer, shouldn't air fare be reduced accordingly?

I want my rebate!!!

" wallyj, your comment shows what a smelly hippie you are. Hemp sails, pah! How 18th century" Posted by: The Phantom. That hurts. I'll have you know that I am not a smelly hippie,but an aromatic earth-child. Once I become Hemp Sail Czar,I will have one placed outside your pad,and it will feature Queen Lizzie's dazzling smile,as a daily reminder of your comment. As for windmills running backwards,hah,that will just suck all the air out of the planet.

To much friction in the bedrooms of the Worlds Nations.
It can only mean disaster!!!

The land masses are being pulled towards each other by the moon whose orbit is now erratic and going out of control. Like a giant battering ram the oceans, in response to the now erratic actions of the moon, are moving the land masses towards each other in ever increasing increments.

While a lot of people, non scientists for the most part, believe gravity causes the moon to orbit the earth this is actually not true. Sunlight binds the earth to the moon with invisible strands of indestructible dark matter. Like a bee and a flower the earth and the moon benefit each other with an exchange of sunlight. The earth takes it from the sun and gives it to the moon. The moon reflects it back to earth. This corridor of light dance has been performed since the beginning of the earth.

The moon has been dependent on reflected sunlight to maintain a steady orbit. This has been disrupted by the increase of Co2 into the atmosphere. The troposphere would show heat increase and conclusively prove the absolute consensus of global warming if the moon was not desperately cooling the troposphere in a desperate attempt to maintain orbit.

We are doomed to die as the land masses erupt and collide with each other because of the moons erratic orbit or we will die as the moon lurches out of orbit ripping the earth apart as it journeys towards the stars.

DrD- It got caught in the continental drift. Alberta drifter - The journalists thought it was the latest dance craze!

Slow it down? Heck no!
Is there a north-south drift 'cuz I have an idea...
Since the guvament will protect all Canjuns from cancer by putting an anti-cancer drug in junk food,

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20091222/junk_091222/20091222?hub=TopStoriesV2

we can all get fat on the junk, then if we stand Huntsville and jump like crazy we can push Taranna into Lake Ontario.