18) Lefty loosey, righty tighty.

51) Conservatism even when it's wrong is 'right'.

52) When conservatism is wrong; its proponents spin its failures until they somehow convince each other it's 'right'.

Pain hurts. Be careful.

Sounds like a lot of that advice was from mom (do the dishes every night?) but in reality the top 5 are 39 & 40, 2, 7 and of course 18.

Here, "not stirred enough"... let me fix that for you:

52) When ________________ is wrong; its proponents spin its failures until they somehow convince each other it's 'right'.

Fill in the blank with the ideology of your choice

Texas, I must admit that I still let the dishes and the laundry pile up. But after getting a -really- painful hand injury while doing something amazingly stupid with powered equipment at 18, I watch what I'm doing pretty damn close. Working pretty well so far, I only have arthritis a little bit.

There's another thing 18 year olds need to know. Be nice to your joints, because arthritis SUCKS!!!

7) "Don't have any children or get married until you can support and love yourself first." -- D-Vega

Therein lies one of the biggest problems of Western Civilization. Supporting and loving yourself makes it harder to make the kind of sacrifices that will allow you to start and educate a family. Children are expensive commodities - assets in the long term, but expensive in the short term.

Theres a thread here on France's problems that might be attributable to this.

never play cards with a man named 'doc'...

never eat at any place called "Mom's"....

and never ever sleep with someone who has more troubles than you....

33) Don't ever say anything that may offend someone who is going to be serving you food. You never know what they may stick in it when you're not looking.

I am always amazed when people don't know this rule or are shocked when I tell them the rule. I spent decades in the food business. Seen some strange things go into "the special".

Missing rule: Never sleep with a women who can beat you up.

Don't sleep with him on the first date. Or the second one. Or...

Care for your eyes, your teeth, your back and your feet, even if (esp. if) you have to pay for care yourself and can't rely on benefits -- which you can't 'rely' upon anyhow. You DO have the money. You just keep spending it on crap.

sylvain, perhaps a better way of putting it is don't have babies if you can't afford the diapers. And if you can't afford diapers, you need a better job.

51) Never miss a Golden Opportunity to just shutup!

That was from my Grandmaw on Pops side, tell was she was 100% North Louisi-Yana Black Foot. She died when I was young, never seen such a mean old woman since, why once, when I was 5 she told us (me, brother, and sister) that our Dad contracted the mumps when he was young and that there was no way we were his kids. Mom had her arse in the Old Folks Home by that weekend. Grandmaw was mean, but back in the day Mom carried a Butcher Knive in her purse.

18? Hell, great advice for any age!

The three things I was told at 17.
1. Woman want to date/have sex worse then guys.
2. Never care what anyone thinks about you.
3. You have no limits, except those that you place on yourself. You can accomplish/do anything you put your mind to.

Keep 'em coming, folks! Those are great tips so far. Kathy, care of your feet is a primary consideration of the armed forces (so I understand it)...I learned that oh-so-long ago and have always remembered.

Kate, in your spare time (ha!), you could gather these all up and publish a book.

Another one to add:

Eat regular and balanced meals, with lots of healthy proteins, green vegetables and fruits. Restrict salt and white sugar use. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Never ever put off taking that class overseas, that internship across the country or that backpacking trip with your best friends. Save up the money, and save up hard, because the history class on-site, the internship in another province and the memories with your friends will always be more valuable than a couple of CD's or a new Blue-ray player.
And when you take that adventure overseas or across the country, bring a computer, cause Skype is way cheaper than a phone call.

Oh, and with recent scars to prove it:

When you are using a knife, always cut AWAY from your body.

"Always bet on black" (unless it's the Raiders)

Never take snakes on a plane.

It's better to have a gun and not need it than need one and not have it.

I have two(2) 18 year old sons. How did that happen?

Plenty of good advice here. I'd like to add; punch through the target, and don't let your opponent set his feet.

Further to Guelphfirst's post, specifically #2 ("Never care what anyone thinks about you), here is a great quote:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss

Here is one for the more cunning 18 year old.

Most people live their lives in the 'identity trap'
That is the belief that nearly everyone else thinks and feels as they do.

This is useful information.

#4080 - Record company people are shady.

Great list, Kate.

51) Read the map before you set out on a trip -- and don't forget to check for alternate routes.

And always -- ALWAYS --- have a Plan B.

Here's another great one: Beware left-hand threads.

56) Donating to the Liberal Party of Canada increases the bags of cash passing under restaurant tables in arithmetic proportion to the amount of cash donated.

57) Liberals like to increase the money supply.

58) See 56.

When in doubt... punt.

Don't build your house in a flood plain.

My favorite,from spending summers with my grandmother. She was a whirlwind from sunup to sun down, but alwasy some time during the day we would stop what we were doing, and just sit for 10-20 minutes -- park bench, bus stop, front porch -- wherever, and she would turn to me and say "sometimes you have to just stop and watch the world go by."

"Industry rule number 4080, record company people are shady"

lol, nice, but I bet almost nobody here gets it (without a google). :)

>>Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

I wouldn't know. I'm retired and I seldom get up early enough to have breakfast. Life is good.

Phantom is right about arthritus........

When you "mature" it will remind you of injuries you have either forgot or were unaware of at the time.

X-airbourne are all cripples...

BTW:
Never lay anything you wouldn't marry....
Do marry anything you just want to lay...
Never take a knife to a gun fight---unless it's a khukri....

When in doubt shoot. It's better to be judged by twelve than carried by six.

Take those things out of your ears you fools.

From an old Rolling Stones song "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime you can get what you need."

"lol, nice, but I bet almost nobody here gets it (without a google). :)"

Steven

No kidding, but not only here. Most yout's don't know their music history either, hence NAS's song "Where are they now". That's why "Hip Hop is Dead".

don't pretend to be important when you're not.
And don't smoke any wooden nickels.

51) ALWAYS sit with your back to the wall.

If you enjoy being poor then go ahead and bet on the Leafs!

This one needs an addition---27) If you ever get arrested, don't say anything until you talk to a lawyer.

Your mouth will get you convicted more often than all the rest combined.

A couple from dear old dad on women in bars. If she smokes,she pokes. If her breath is bad,for godsakes son,don't go any lower.

Wallyj, you win!

Why thank you TC. I'd hazard a guess that you wish you heard dad's rules many a year ago. Don't fret bout it,most of us learn the hard way.

You are only young once, but you are old for the rest of your life.

They have a saying in India relative to good eating habit.
Eat loads of breakfast.
Share your lunch with a friend.
Give your supper to your enemy.

31) Trust your instincts. They're usually right.


Wrong. Dead wrong. This entry almost invalidates the rest of the list. Your instincts will fail you. Your instincts have known failure rates, and known failure conditions. Learn about them, and learn when to trust them, and when not to.