Another Sunday Timewaster

Great stories - and we have lots from Canada as well - still a few original pioneers left - my great aunt is one - they homesteaded in the 30s, she's getting close to 100, and looks about 62.

sundays we'd drive over to the neighbours with half a dozen of the large size milk cans...say 20 gallon.....fill them up from his well and come back for bath night...so one day a guy came by to water witch the property...he used willow....so they drilled just outside the front door...didn't find any at a 100 feet....so we waited til they put water lines in down the length of Sumas prairie....at the barns we had a well that would only provide enough water for 40 milking holsteins...so we dasn't(nice Faulknerian touch there mr begley...why thank you) dare use that..

and fyi we never had ice cream....we would dip into the top 4 inches of the milk cooler and drink the richest ice cold cream you can imagine...you could taste it on your upper lip for hours...

was a guy on a bicycle came by every year..with a grinding wheel on it powered by his pedals....he would put an edge on all your knives...then he'd move on...

BTW i knows(faulkner again john?)two ways of hypnotizing chickens(won't work with a broody hen tho)....sit there like statues all day...

take very careful note,folks.Life if the eco-facist get their way.

It's not often enough that you see Appalachian and the word "culture" all in the same sentence.

New York folks would just bust a hydrant open if they needed water.

why i kin squirt milk straight out of a cow's teat a good 10 feet or more....that's how we treated the barn cats....them in course only gittin' what mice they could catch as is in the natch'rl course of things......

you know i reckon i could live purty well foragin' in farm country....free milk from the cows....hypnotizin chickens and such....mebbe dip my cup in the molasses barrel farmers keep to whet the cow's appetite when theys cloistered up in the winter time livin' on silage....summertimes sneakin' into the shady spot farmers keep the lemonade when theys makin' hay....i likes it best with the lemons left in the jars mesself....and sweetened with sugar would be cuttin' a fat hog!

yup...cows i knows ....and chickens too....and don' you fergit dawgs ....real dawgs not that doctor dawg leg humpin' gun shy useless as tits on a bull kinda dog like that coulda bin Napoleon and Snowball's SS detail enforcers if you get my drift..
i KNOW dawgs and i like 'em...and never met a dawg didn't love me after a spell....bein' a dawg ain't easy...don' you ever think else....so i try to ease their burden....dawgs have a sense of humour you know...irony as you eddicated internet folks call it...they can 'see the difference' if you will...and theys jus' as amused by it as i am....dawgs can sense hypocrisy and cruel injustice faster than mesself which is asayin' sumpin cause i go wild instanter anyone try to interfere with my natch'l rights...
'all the virtues of man and none of the vices' as faulkner said...or was it byron......?
hell i dunno...it don' figger...all i knows is a little bit of food and a little bit of love and you got yeself the heart of a lion at your beck.

well..and i do know bulls kinda....and i know a bit about the giant rat of Sumatra....but that conflation is a story for which the internet is not ready....

oh tarnation...but the bull recollections are agushin' up lak that artesian in yer lede..

OUR bull we called bully...which is nat'chl enuff....well you see..bully was only called out of his stall for coverin' a heifer or cow needed a calf to make milk or a cow needed freshenin up cause her milk production was droppin below her payin' her way...(this was before that fancy commie artificial insemination)

bully was one mean mother if you'll excuse my lapsing into the inner city vernacular so popular wit you city slickers...

So...one day bully stopped eatin'...swallowed some iron I reckoned...anyway he didn' get any better so it was off to the glue factory...along wif an old gal couldn' produce her 30 lbs of milk a day..

you know...bully..old bully..built like 'arnold' but didn't walk 10 feet a year..head the size of king kong...loins like a 10 year old girl....with a brass ring in his nose the size of a hula hoop(and a prick 4 feet long when aroused)...sick..wasting away...took a effort to get him into the truck with the dear old cow heading to their own personal buchenwald and bigod he tried to climb aboard her enroute..

when we arrived the sign above the entrance to the abbatoir read
"milch und semen macht du frei"...if i remember correct..which is doubtful considering how scarred my memory is by trouble and strife lifelong ...

in the reckoning bully weighed 10 lbs less than a ton...after not eating for a week.

Sorry jb, you`re not like Faulkner, you`re far more readable

john begly you are a hoot we would just hafta take you-all moose hunting I can hear the camp fire stories already, with a suitable "snort" of the good stuff.
A good post Kate some of my favorite reads, are the "fox-fire" series of books all about the hill people and their "affairs of plain living" the books were based on interviews of older folks by kids that were not doing well in the "normal" school system and I treasure them, I was lucky enough to come back home to look after my folks in their declining years and had 10 years with them I must say their were challenges but there was a lot of magic and wisdom and stories which are mine now they are gone but I will never forget their straight no nonsence take on the world, I have no doubt they are in a better place.
cheers Bubba

Either I have too much time on my hands today or the stories are really good. All I know is I am on my 2nd hour reading this appalachian lifestyles site and enjoying it. To my "surprise" they get some cold weather there as well. Enjoyed the article about the little brothers' overnight pee freezing everybody to the blankets by morning. Great writing. Much appreciated.

Arnie....I had the same reaction.

Thanks Kate,this is a real find.Read for hours and then followed links for even more enjoyment.Can you sign up Begley as well?

thank you greyburr..most kind indeed....unfortunately my ever ongoing banjo lessons take up all of my spare time i allot for purely creative endeavours...

Great stories. Living in the south has been an eyeopener for this Canadian gal. One of my kids has applied to Appalachian State and now plays the banjo and mandolin. If we had not moved here I know he would never have picked up either. I have forwarded this site to him. My oldest son is in Canada. We can see subtle differences in the two boys when they get together. Accents even! Youngest child is all southern - a 'grits' - Girl Raised In The South. We make a yearly trek to Canada as to keep her reminded of where she is truly from.