TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
- Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
- Your $900,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
- You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
- There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
- Weed.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
- Big rock between you and B.C.
- Ottawa who?
- Tax is 6% instead of approximately 200% as it is for the rest of the country.
- You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
- You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
- The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
- You never run out of wheat.
- Your province is really easy to draw.
- You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
- People will assume you live on a farm.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
- You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
- Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
- Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
- You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
- You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
- You live in the centre of the universe.
- Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
- You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
- The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
- Racism is socially acceptable.
- You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
- Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
- You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *#!%!"
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
- One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
- You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
- No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick.
- Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
- Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
- You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
- You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
- Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
- You can walk across the province in half an hour.
- You can drive across the province in two minutes.
- Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
- This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
- You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
- If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
- If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
- The workday is about two hours long.
- It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding.
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Received by e-mail this morning from this fellow. If you somehow feel insulted by the contents of this post, yell at him and not me. ;-)
UPDATE: The following were added by Hans Rupprecht in the comments and are worth appending to the main post:TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NUNAVUT
- You don't want NONE OF IT any where else.
- You don't ever need to buy a freezer.
- You are never short of ice for your daquiris while enjoying your ocean view.
- Diamond mines are the jewels in the TRUE NORTH.
- Polar bears make good fishing buddies, if you are short of friends.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN YUKON
- Line dancers doing 'can can' have great gams.
- There is gold in them thar hills.
- Next to Alaska which used to be owned by the Russians, so it is kind of like Siberia.
- Summer is two weeks, so it is a great place for winter sports.
- The Dempster Highway is gravel, just like the condition of Saskatchewan's roads!
I live in Ontario at present, but am torn between moving to Newfoundland with the two hour workday or Alberta that could afford be its own country.
Love it!
Excellent! The first Vancouver remark needs some clarification. Yes, there are 2 bridges and 1.5 million people, but there's never more than half a million lined up to get onto each one of those bridges at any given time.
And if you travel between 2:30 a.m., and 4 a.m., traffic is fairly light.
And to quell one more rumor, all drivers in Vancouver are NOT speed crazed Asian youth, it just seems that way.
just hilarious!!
thanks
If an American can play, you left out the part about BC being so British that it brings tea to your eyes.
test
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NUNAVUT:
1. You don't want NONE OF IT any where else.
2. You don't ever need to buy a freezer.
3. You are never short of ice for your daquiris while enjoying your ocean view.
4. Diamond mines are the jewels in the TRUE NORTH.
5. Polar bears make good fishing buddies, if you are short of friends.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN YUKON:
1. Line dancers doing 'can can' have great gams.
2. There is gold in them thar hills.
3. Next to Alaska which used to be owned by the Russians, so it is kind of like Siberia.
4. Summer is two weeks, so it is a great place for winter sports.
5. The Dempster Highway is gravel, just like the condition of Saskatchewan's roads!
Very good. LOL
2 more reasons to live in BC:
1. Private beer stores
2. Street dim sum
More reasons to live in Quebec:
Celine Dion doesn't live there anymore.
The Black Market economy is bigger than the legal taxable economy.
If anyone criticizes your demands for More Power and More Money you can always claim they are francophobes.
More reasons to live in Ontario:
You don't need to read fiction, you've created and live in a totally fictional world, which believes the US and watching video games causes all the shootings in Toronto; that registering long guns will stop the use of hand guns in Toronto; that all you have to do to stop violence is 'talk to them' and build more basketball courts; that all you need to do to solve problems is fling money at it.
Love it...lol
OK, I call BS on this. Not ALL Ontarians live in Tranna. Not ALL of them pay $400K for a piece of crap to live in.And furthermore not ALL Ontarians think like Trannatonians.
I'll take any one of you 100 miles out of Tranna and I guarantee you will feel like you are back home.
No kidding!!
I'll take any one of you 100 miles out of Tranna and I guarantee you will feel like you are back home.
No kidding!!
Posted by: Rattfuc at June 20, 2007 6:07 PM
Does that include my cheap beer, hot chicks,low taxes,and $43/hr job??? If so....sign me up!
Why is it so many proffered compromises in Canadian politics amount to: the wealth of Alberta, the workweek of Newfoundland, the self-satisfaction of British Columbia as achieved through making concessions to Quebec?
...Number one reason to live in BC -
You can sing:
"I'm a lumberjack and I'm que, err, I'm OK"
"OK, I call BS on this. Not ALL Ontarians live in Tranna"
True enough. Couple of years ago I drove out west, mentioned to someone how many days it took me just to get out of ontario. She asked me if it was because of all the traffic...
That's okay; my knowledge of other places in Canada could use work too.
I think that the top reason for living where I live is that I live there. After all, if I didn't live where I was living, life would be - wait - no it wouldn't. (This comment was brought to you by Google's Yoda to English translator.)
Rattfuc: I lived in Trenton/Bellville which is 100 miles east of Tranna. Hated every minute I was there.
And furthermore, vitruvius, the vessel with the pestle has the potion that is poison; the chalice with the palace has the brew that is true..or is it the other way around?
But it is indeed true, that if you didn't live where you are living, then, you might not be living. Where you live. Or is it the other way around.
Whether or not the vessel with the pestle has the potion that is poison, ET, depends on the fineness of one's titration, does it not, eh what?
GVRD is closer to 2.5+ million and every single one of 'em leaves surrey at the same time we do. mostly one person to a car, lots 'n lotsa semi tractor trailers and fumes, it's a 20km drive to work that takes, on average, 6 mins/km.
Good golly. Ha. Ha. What a severely lame post.
I'm not sure who you are Sean, but surely you could learn to use Google before posting drivel that's been circulating on the net since at least 1999.
See here: http://tinyurl.com/ysy435
Kate: please get a new guest blogger. A thousand monkeys with diarrhea would produce a better post.
A Long Time Reader.
Good golly. Ha. Ha. What a severely lame post.
I'm not sure who you are Sean, but surely you could learn to use Google before posting drivel that's been circulating on the net since at least 1999.
See here: http://tinyurl.com/ysy435
Kate: please get a new guest blogger. A thousand monkeys with diarrhea would produce a better post.
A Long Time Reader.
Good golly. Ha. Ha. What a severely lame post.
I'm not sure who you are Sean, but surely you could learn to use Google before posting drivel that's been circulating on the net since at least 1999.
See here: http://tinyurl.com/ysy435
Kate: please get a new guest blogger. A thousand monkeys with diarrhea would produce a better post.
A Long Time Reader.
Good golly. Ha. Ha. What a severely lame post.
I'm not sure who you are Sean, but surely you could learn to use Google before posting drivel that's been repeatedly circulating on the net since at least 1999.
See here: http://tinyurl.com/ysy435
Kate: please get a new guest blogger. A thousand monkeys with diarrhea would produce a better post.
A Long Time Reader.
Seems like AlbertaCranky fell asleep on his POST button. Lighten up dude. I for one haven't read this before. Maybe a lot of similar stuff but then what fun is a joke if you can't send it all over the blogisphere only to get it back as "new" material? Pass this on to ten friends...
BTW Sean & Hans; You forgot NWT. It all didn't become none-of-it. That is where you get 10 months of winter and two months of tough sledding. /rimshot please/
The inferiority of canuckistans,always trying hard to find someone weaker than themselves to put down.
Especially noticeable in the Nouveau Rich.
The "come on down to my level" country.
Reading about the 2 hour, 20 km. commute from Surrey to Vancouver...wow...6 mins/km??? Makes my 17 minute, 19 km. commute to work into downtown Saskatoon seem like a walk in the park!
I love this place...and will love it even moreso when we rid ourselves of the socialist parasites!!!
Dang. Sorry about that multiple post gang. The board just kept on hanging for-ever when I hit post.
As I don't comment here too often, I first thought it was one of my pop-up blockers. Eventually, I figured that the site post mechanism was just crawling. By then it was too late.
Sorry 'bout dat.
And no, I won't apologize for my rant on that idiotic post. I've come to expect better stuff from Kate's site, which is why I stop by here regularly. If the posts start getting thin and recycled trash like this gets posted, I'll just drop out.
There are plenty of good conservative blogs out there now - most of the one's I read are not authored by a Canuck. If the content quality hits the toilet, expect the readership to start heading south too. Just sayin'.