Belinda Naismith was 34 and a mother of three when her husband Kevin was killed ejecting from a CF-18;
The day after his death she had media camped outside her home at Cold Lake, Alta., where they lived at the time.
There was more than the normal paperwork that must be signed when someone dies, because her husband was in the Canadian Forces. There was also an investigation to get through.None of Belinda Naismith’s friends — many of them were young wives and mothers themselves — knew what it was like to lose a spouse. Naismith remembers comments that were probably meant to console, but only compounded her grief. It was a sympathy card from another widow, whose husband died while on duty, that Naismith remembers finding consolation in.
[...]
Now, however, there is a group of nine people from across the country, including Naismith, whose contact information can be given out so those who have lost a loved one serving in the military can talk to someone who can truly empathize. All nine of the people in the group have lost a loved one who was serving in the military.Then it is up to the person from the support group to make contact. Naismith said the first call can be awkward but it is mainly to introduce herself and set up a time when it would be better to talk.
“This is not counsel. It’s just to reach out your hand and say, ‘I know how dark that tunnel is and I’m standing here on the other side,” said Naismith, who would have welcomed such a call when her husband died.
The OSISS website.
Am I missing something?
OSISS is for current and past Military members to help with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder(PTSD) or what they used to call "Shell Shock" back in the dark ages. It isn't designed for bereaved spouses of military members killed on duty. It's designed to help the living who are trapped in a very special kind of hell.
Just finishing the training mid-June according to the article.
When I was growing up in the '50's as an Air Force Brat, my father died in service. At the time Air Force Jets were not exactly the safest form of transportation. Not a month went by without at least one crash that would kill the crew. And that is only one Base! Then, as now, a Lt. appointed as a Casualty Officer and a Chaplin would show up unannounced on the new widow's doorstep, break the bad news, and give her two weeks to find other housing. The Casualty Officer would also try to help her through the mounds of paperwork she needed to fill out for benefits and insurance for herself and her children. Not exactly the best time to think clearly enough to do that. And the Casualty Officer was just some LT. pulled at random to perform the task, and usually did not have a clue.
Then in the late forties or early fifties the U.S. Air Force actually did something that made sense (they are still trying to live it down). A third person was added to the committee at the doorstep. On the way to the new widow's quarters, the Casualty Officer would stop at another quarters, and pick up a member of the Widow's Club. This would be a woman who had volunteered to help new widows through the transition, having gone through the trauma herself within the last two years or so. In return, she would be allowed to stay in quarters on a Space Available basis. Having been through it herself, she could provide comfort to the new widow, and expert help in filling out all the paperwork and cutting through the Red Tape. For the word had come down from on High. What the Widow's Club Wants, the Widow's Club Gets. And if a Regulation gets bent or broken in the process, or a little larceny is involved, the punishment would be swift, quiet and light.
Around 1960, the casualty rate had dropped, and the Widow's Clubs were shut down. A pity. The Army faced the same crisis in Viet-Nam (reference the movie "We were Soldiers Once..."), but as far as I know, it has never been revived in any of the Services. A pity, as Belinda could attest.