A Better Method Of Birth Control

Muskrat, muskrat candlelight
Doin the town and doin it right
In the evenin
Its pretty pleasin
Muskrat susie, muskrat sam
Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land
And they shimmy
And sammys so skinny
And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin and jingin the jango
Floatin like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love
Nibbling on bacon, chewin on cheese
Sammy says to susie honey, would you please be my missus?
And she say yes
With her kisses
And now hes ticklin her fancy
Rubbin her toes
Muzzle to muzzle, now anything goes
As they wriggle, and sue starts to giggle
And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin and jingin the jango
Floatin like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love

24 Replies to “A Better Method Of Birth Control”

  1. Does it play Mozart’s Requiem when the Human Papiloma Virus breaches the condom and infects your partner with a cervical cancer inducing love tap 20 years from now?
    Sorry to spoil the mood everyone.

  2. Watch for a new listing on the Vancouver Stock Exchange.
    I wonder if it plays the William Tell overture.

  3. Arrgh!
    I have not had that infernal tune “float” through my conciousness for years… and now, it’s back.

  4. Now, didn’t you promise to only use your powers for good, Kate?
    Welcome back. Good as your guest bloggers are, we still missed you.

  5. The guy’s going to go out of business before he makes a cent. People won’t make love to just ANY music: It’s gotta be their kind of music.
    He’ll have to load the condoms with Mamba, and Samba, and Rumba, and R&B, and R&R, and Hip Hop, and Classical, and Square Dance, and Polka, and Klezmer…see what I mean?
    This guy had better leave contraception up to the Rhythm Pals…

  6. Like I said on the radio the day I had to play that cursed song. “Kinda makes me want to do some small-game hunting. Weather’s next on CKGB”

  7. Wow! Talk about science providing solutions to fill the primary needs of the masses…….
    Perhaps they are still kicking the bugs out of the Biomat replacement kidney that plays “100 bottles of beer on the wall? when you run alcohol through it.

  8. I’m rather partial to the America version of the song, rather than the Captain and Tenille knock-off.
    Now I must be off to light the incense, plug in the lava lamp, and seduce my wife.

  9. Mmmm, somehow I thought the tune would be “Pop Goes the Weasel”. Sorry about that 😉
    Another thought: This is one thing that the moonies can blame on “bush”. Really sorry this time. :_))
    Welcome back, eh.

  10. It is tunes such as this that killed the music industry in the 70’s…thank god for Punk when it came along.You may not have liked the music, but it brought the energy back to rock n’ roll…

  11. Here I thought you were trying to tell us you’d met someone new. Hope you had a good break. Welcome home to the best Country on earth. Many thanks to all the great guest bloggers.

  12. Well, I stumbled in from a hard day of oppressing women, gays, and minorities, and saw this post.
    As soon as I read it I instantly realized that for this subject to be posted, it would require someone with a certain deviousness and perversity of the imagination.
    That’s how I knew you were back, Kate. The post bore the telltail marks of your unmistakable hand.
    So welcome back (or, sorry to see you go? this all gets confusing).
    Questions:
    1. How do they test these things?
    2. How are they going to work the television spots?
    3. What celebrities will be the chief spokesmen?
    4. Will there be a patriotic component? …O Canada,,, ,,,Oh say can you see…

  13. The next version will come with it’s own Karaoke machine complete with wireless mikes. Music for the Righteous Brothers’ single “You’ve lost that loving feeling” won’t be included.

  14. Is it one of those “audience participation” events? Because, like, I might swing over to Ticket Master if it is. 🙂

  15. DOG and BUTTERFLY,MUSKRAT LOVE,THE AGE OF AQUARIUS,SAVE THE EARTH some of the most stupid songs around

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