Long day at the shop. Overnight a foot of snow had drifted in over the inch of ice that froze to every road surface during a lovely rain we had a couple of days ago. Driving to town was no picnic. Neither was the drive home.
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Airbrushing is "automaton" work. There's not a lot of thought required, and so the mind tends to wander - similar to the phenomenon that occurs when on a long drive with an open can of solvent in the car. |
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Suddenly, it came to me - a solution. As brilliant ideas often are, it was breathtakingly simple. It's so damned simple I can't believe no one has proposed this before.
Our province has an brand identity problem. The name "Saskatchewan", while unique and memorable (if not pronouncable), is burdened by negative imagery. A simple word association experiment illustrates the problem ... "Saskatchewan ... taxes .. socialists ... Tommy Douglas .. not dead enough ... roadkill ... bad roads ... blizzards ... wind ... drought ... grasshoppers ..."
It doesn't help that we're on the shelf right next to a province that's got a Red Hot Rating in every consumer report.
Let's face it - Alberta is our number two problem. It's easy to move from Saskatchewan to Alberta. No hills to climb or rivers to ford. Those Albertans are clever. They use gasoline pumps as bread crumbs - the further west you drive, the lower the fuel prices.
Time to face facts. As fond as we are of it, the name's got to go. There's simply too much baggage, too much bad press. But what do we replace it with? Cuba's taken.
Here's where my idea really started to pick up speed. Picture this scene if you will - a nice millionaire family is brainstorming for a place to move, work, invest and make even more money, and they go "Hey, why not Alberta! They have oil, conservatives, no sales tax.. "
Why not indeed! And so they get a map of Canada, seeking fertile ground to put down new roots...
I can hear the pennies dropping...
True, we might get a higher than average representation of dyslexics, but on the balance, I think it could work. Absurd? Perhaps. Revolutionary? Certainly.
Too stupid?
Well, funny you ask. In Saskatchewan, there's really no such thing! In fact, the Calvert government has taken a stance that when it comes to building the economy of this province, no idea is too stupid to consider.
Alberta. Albreta. Alberta. Albreta.. See? It sounds better all the time.
So if I drive east on the Yellowhead do I reach ALBRETOON?
New Brunswico? Eh? Eh?
Maybe not...
That is the best idea I have heard.
Only one problem you have to convince the population that day light saving time does not mean have to get up every day one hour early during the summer.
It is for only one day and you get to sleep one
hour extra in the fall.
From a person that was born in Saskatchewan and
now living in Alberta.
Upper North Dakota? Just an idea.
Teach those chinese to eat more wheat and less rice and your province will be a humming.
Red tractors green combines I miss. $2.50 wheat I dont.Sask farm boy now living happily in alberta,eat your heart out.
Why not just make Alberta bigger, adopt there economics and government, and daylight savings time, then the drive to leave would be shorter .. ;-)
Then we could tell Ottawa to pound salt, and were on our own!
Anschluss makes sense to me, too, as long as the capital doesn't revert to Pile of Bones. Sleeper cells of Saskatchewan operatives have already infiltrated every facet of Alberta life, especially here in Calgary. Their puppetmasters in Regina can say Alberta is bowing to the inevitable.
The terms of union should be simple enough: we have to cheer for the Riders; you have to eradicate rats.
P.S. "Land of Living Skies" has to go as well. No point in advertising the grasshoppers and bloackflies.
Ok, but us in Alberta have to give up something as well, I think it should be Ann Maclellan, and all the people she had move in from the east to vote her in, no one likes her anyway. Wouldn't be a huge loss for either side, we both get rid of our pests.
Er, the phrase 'lipstick on a pig' comes to mind.
Pigs have more contours.
Hey. You Albertans keep this up and I'll be happy to rename your province "North American Man-Sheep Love Ass'n Headquarters" on that little map.
First, I discovered you common sense politics. Then I saw your art. Then I saw your picture (hot)! Now, this article... I must have you! Don't tell my wife.
Sorry,falling in love, she is betrothed to me.more later. spike
Well, I wouldn't want to piss off a guy named Spike.
"North American Man-Sheep Love Ass'n Headquarters"
We're actually into multiple partner incestuous donkey necrophilia out this way. And people think that Albertans are prudes. Hmph.